it’s gonna be ok…

Although I still play the game and I share and post things that look frightening or scary or things that outright piss me off, I’m actually seeing life now from a vantage point that most of you don’t have. I’m still human and I still interact and I still have emotional reactions………HOWEVER………I am no longer………just like you. Not that I ever really was with all my sadnesses and inadequacies and quirks and weirdnesses…! I can hear the world whispering from my shoulder saying……”you’re not special, whatever you’re about to say….remember, you’re not special. We are all alike”. Believe me I know. While I might not be special, I may know things others don’t. I may have experienced things others haven’t. Here’s the deal. Ever since I went to the 5th dimension the first time, I have a new view. An overhead view. Like when I was a CASA………………someone who looked at all the pieces and watched it as a whole, with no vested interest except that of keeping a child safe. And it’s not only that…I also have very diverse interests and a lot of stuff comes in front of my eyes and ears. Bottom line, I see things that maybe others don’t. The whole point to this is to tell you that I see light at the end of the tunnel. I see hope. But it’s bigger than that. What I see, is the whole. As a whole, it is the most beautiful beauty. It is the song of songs, the dance of dances, the light of lights. We are something so unbelievably special, something that is the utmost gift to all……all beings. All beings in all universes. We are a treasure. Unique. Precious. The frequency of all beings, doing what they are doing at any given second, combined with what they are thinkings frequency and the frequencies of all of the objects and the wifi’s and the tv’s and the crying and the dancing and the screaming and the raping and the beheadings and the earthquakes and the droughts and the trees and the bugs and the hot pavement. Everything has a frequency and vibrates at that sound. We don’t hear it….like the dog whistle. But it plays. It plays every second of every minute every day forever and ever. It plays the waltz, salsa, tango, shuffle, ballet, African, of life. We……………..are the song of this uni verse. We are also the dancers.


And now, I need to tell you about 4 hours with a butterfly. I was leaving the market yesterday when I saw the butterfly in the veggie aisle….sitting on the ground. I immediately scooped her up. Carried her in my left hand and went on with living. Porfi, my in town taxi driver, drove us and the veggies home and I put the groceries away, all while holding Beauty. Then we sat down to begin the evening together. I offered her sugarwater, nope. I offered her a leaf outside to step onto, nope. She wanted to be with me. I talked to her, and loved her. I sang to her and free went my esteem……I just sang and sang, hitting notes….not hitting notes, she didn’t care. I made up words about how much I loved her and I also sang old faithfuls, like amazing grace which I sang to my goats all the time and the lullabye words I made up for my own human kids to Over the Rainbow. I played Tinkerbelle on the laptop for her.  She reacted when I sang. She moved her antennas around or one of them. She would place one of her tiny white feet on my thumb and latch on. She liked to lay one of her antenna on my thumb as well, almost as a hug. She allowed me to touch her without even the slightest flinch. I cried with her. I told her I loved her. My darling. I sent her reiki. It was love. Then she was gone and the love went into us both and there it remains. Forever. It was the most exquisite love affair and it went into the collective unconscious as a gift. I woke to discover her broken body in pieces. One wing completely gone. The love was still here, in me and in her and it didn’t matter. Signing off in Costa Rica where the PESTICIDES gotta GO, the people love each other and hold hands and walk arm in arm and give kisses on the right cheek………in 3 weeks I will be here a year…..yesterday, I received a KISS on the cheek by the parking lot lady!!!! HOLY CANOLI”s!!!!….and, a valley sound has finally reached me….sounds like a high pitch whistle, and I don’t know if it’s a bug of a bird but yay, it soothes me, that jungle sound



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