It’s getting harder and harder to share these learnings. I seem to be speaking into a void. Where are all the people who are in pain? Where are all the people struggling….seeking answers? Where are all the depressed and sad people who need lifted? And then again….why are the sad ones who know of me…not coming? Why did that gal nearly commit suicide….when she knew darn well she had access to words of one who is on the path to overcome. She chose to not read. I cannot force anyone to hear my words. They are drops of water for a scorched earth….falling into the cracks and feeding from below. It’s not recognition I seek……….I have already received that. No….I seek to heal. More……I seek to create a better world. A kinder world. A gentler world. And I AM CREATING it…….even if I have to do it from the dirt. I am the dirt. You are the dirt. Ashes to ashes dust to dust. What are we growing? What does dust do in the light? It dances.
I asked Jesus what am I doing wrong? What words should I be saying instead? Please, give me the right words. I feel an urgency to reach. Why? Why, if I already told you it didn’t matter……that all was perfect as it is? Cuz I have compassion. I want everyone to ascend. I want all to feel love….even the one who hates himself most…..who hurts others the most. I am a flame that calls the lost and points the way. I can only offer. And you can only react from where you are in this moment. Sometimes we need to step out of the feeling for a second. Then, first, ask…is this my pain? If the pain is yours, notice it…..then take it in your arms and love it. And tell it thankyou and tell it to go. When it returns….repeat… It takes awhile to instill the changes in us. Repetition teaches our insides, our minds. Repetitions are the bricks that build our world. And the more you add words to the Magic of IAM……..you create your world and who you are. As an example…….if you were to say I am an idiot. They say 6 times to ingrain something. Well, I know there are times when I say that idiot statement oh……6 times in one hour!!! What does this do? Well, words are tools. We have just taught ourselves that we are idiots. Congratulations……you win a prize. I’ll give you mine. I no longer need self hatred. Nope….giving it up for lent or lint or karma or love.
Instead, I choose now to experiment with the love aspect of self. So many layers, levels, pieces of this self, that have never experienced self love in any form. I’m going to show them. I am my teacher now. I am my mother now. I am my family now. I am my God now. I am a dot. A drop in an ocean. HOWEVER……….I am a very cool drop! I have an awesome imagination and I spread drops in the most unique of ways. No word required. It’s really kinda interesting. I always considered myself a gift. I didn’t understand why I thought that, except that I knew in my soul I was supposed to save the world. Then as I grew, the world said…we don’t need saving. The earth is just fine…..maybe a few changes perhaps. I’m still struggling to comprehend this attitude. Is every human on this planet feeling and knowing love? Every being??????? Do we ALL have love and consideration for the Least of these? The least of these can be something so tiny…….or something huge but with a perceived ugliness. Good grief!!! Step out! Step away! So many gifts on this planet for you………go….see them…feel them. 9-5. Starve until you make it out….but GET OUT!!! Passion your life and you will thrive. Earthschool. Mysteryschool…….is meant to be lived. Tasted. Smelled, chewed, swallowed and noticed….all the way down. When I said yesterday that we come again and again, to experience it all…..I didn’t just mean as huemans. No…..we experience the lowest of the low and the highest of the high….the meanest of the mean and the most sacred. We come as an ameba and we come as the smell of lasagna. Ok maybe we do!!! It’s a grand joyfilled experience so I can’t imagine anyone wanting to miss that one. OH….I really wonder if Spirit can do that. Imagine stepping into a large billow of SILK. Being the silk, wrapping around the peoples arms, shoulders, caressing their neck. Haha…well, if it wasn’t before, it’s happening now! Collective Unconscious has just been colored with that thought. Sometimes I try to hold onto certain thoughts….the inventive kind…but I now realize the perfectness of everything so I don’t restrain them anymore. I took the leashes off of my precious idea thoughts. Not advertising them either though…..but I did release them. I free them and if I can’t do them, kudos to who can.
I came to this planet with an agenda. It has taken this long, 54 years to figure it out this far….but apparently my soul knew and was working behind the scenes all my life. My agenda is change. BIG BIG FAT HUGE BIG change. In honor of this agenda…..I shall tell one thing I did in the dark. I did a test. A very long 6 ½ year test. An experiment. I did not release this test information as planned because I realized it could hurt the ones I love. I have proven for you…..that soap is unnecessary. Soap, unless particularly made…is chemical. Shampoo too. I now know the ins and outs of bathing. I know about stink. I know about NOT stinking. I know about skin layer buildup….and non buildup. 6 ½ years people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO BATH. NO SHOWER. NONE. I did take a shower in June of this year……….and I tasted the chemicals for 3 days. My point…..it’s all about the money. How many shampoos are there? Soaps? Showers? And antibacterial soap? NO!!!!! If you’re gonna do surgery…sure….otherwise we need those bacterias to keep us healthy. Cleanliness is next to godliness was wrong. Water has many purposes but scrubbing self off of self 2-3 times a day is certainly not one of them. Water is magic. Quit wasting it. Signing off in Quebradas Costa Rica where the sun cruises around town, the pineapples settle in for a long growth and transformation and butterflies dance and breed with wild abandon. LoveLove
PS….a spider parachuted down to see me this morning. Rather large. Beautiful. The bite on my head is healing now. She feels heaven sent.