money for Spirit…

My God. When I was a kid and I had visions of a new earth…..never….in those visions did it cost money to learn how to be spiritual!!! Donate your talents, trade them for goodness sakes. Ayye carumba! I just want to scream at it. The festivals charging hundreds of dollars to waygoers and thousands to vendors. What the??? What are you thinking? Greed. Back to the almighty buck. This will be the last year for the Big metaphysical festival, here in Costa Rica. Last year, Summer and I chose not to spend $300 dollars to walk in the door to the beach…..and so we came a week later last year. Missed all the hubbub. This year, I’m watching from a distance. Jeeze. And…..I’m listening. I had really wanted to go until I began to watch the posts appear on FB. Not only are they taking all that money from the people, to host a cool event that people have a need in their soul for, and not only do they not give a rats ass about the local people, but now they are obviously planning to take the lions share of the after event money as well. That tourism that would typically go to locals. Imagine……..the native local people having to go without water for days upon days. I think they got 3 hours a day for the last 2-3 days. In summer. And are they well compensated? The locals? Guess. That’s not the new earth I want. I don’t know. This is a hard issue for me. I need to ponder it more cuz until money is no more, hmmm. Gosh, I forgot… Then there’s the sister events. Pick one. Any one. Cost is prohibitive. Sad sad sad

(Story behind the sap drops…tree cries when I hug it….before I went to Texas last time and for Christmas! …Sat down to take photo of tears and saw the dangerous but cool caterpillars.)


It’s been pretty quiet here. Christmas. No weedwhackers. Aside from the fireworks and bit of gunfire, that is. I knew I would have no presents to open on Christmas day so I asked God a few months ago, to give me a certain mushroom. That clear jelly one with the facets. Well, I was invited to go to Sound of Light, Florestral…the ayahuasca place, and they had purple jellies!!!!! SO….I knew they could be my gift….but I didn’t go. Christmas came. I relearned gratitude again. The kind where what you got was basically what you asked for….just a cheaper less technological version. I’ll tell ya. I wanted a laptop. I needed a laptop. I use it for the blog, the photos from my phone, books I’m writing in the Que……and mine is about 6 years old, is infected, is missing 2 keys, the control button sticks and makes it go wonky so ya……..well, I got a boring old version……and he likes to add ram and stuff so I can’t even trade it in or take it back. Haha…..and a 2 year warranty on a NON touchscreen. Like a little kid at Christmas…..I had wanted a swipe laptop and I got a mouse laptop. Same ole same ole. My little heart fell and I had to search within myself for a way. A way to love it anyway. And I did. I think. I don’t have it yet. It’s in Texas, I’m in paradise. Ha. Paradise with skeeters! And the snake the other day has set me back in the fear department, I won’t lie. They say it’s spring….that we just went through winter but the ground is so covered in leaves of all sizes and sorts that the ground is camouflage now. How did I see that snake amongst those leaves? Am I becoming psychic? Or…..was it God saying keep listening to Him? I gotta come to grips with it. Hmmm….no….no like that word……come to terms with it. Like a deal. Not a pulling. I’m being very careful of my words nowadays…..WAY more than I used to.

I took in another skirt yesterday….gosh I love having this sewing machine. Wore 2 of my skirts to the ladies gathering and got a…..I LIKE your style! Lol. Came up with another thing I wanna make….a product. Small. Not too much money. Locals could buy it too. Haven’t tried it yet. Very simple….like my felting aspirations these days. Not selling any art took something from me that I have not been able to get back. I guess I do have a sadness….because the words elicit tears. My own tears. I’m doing small tiny cheap things now. My art heart was broken. I’ll show you a photo of one. For 20 bucks….it shouldn’t take me this long, but my heart isn’t all the way there. I don’t know how to get it back fully. Or if I will. Maybe subconsciously I’m mad at the world. Ha….and desperate to save it as well. You’d be amazed at how many people feel like they’re supposed to do something…………but what???  Urgency.

Remember that cleaning lady? I hired her for $3 an hour to clean this tiny cabin…..because I spiderlovin Mama here, was bein overrun. So many webs by my bed! SO, I hired her. She cleaned the webs and………………….yup. One bit me that night on the back of my head. Angry. Well, that was like Nov 7th or so. The bite still itches me….and, they have all moved back in. So… more cleaning lady. Plus, I felt the class thing, and it was ick. The raindrop mushrooms never did get to come back after the gardeners apocalypse. I thought maybe. But no. Oh…..back to the story! I didn’t go see the purple jelly mushroom at SOL, so I told God I couldn’t hold it against him if I didn’t get one for Christmas as I asked. Then HE gives me a different jelly. Clear, and in the shape of a cube. Really cool. Like a crystal ball.  So…..I said that too could be my Christmas jelly!!! I don’t want anyone to have bad feelings so I was giving God some outs. Christmas Eve….no jelly. Christmas Day… jelly. A large sleeping butterfly sitting on a nearby branch instead of the jelly…..was not enough for me and I had a moment. Ya, whiny gal cried. Then recovered and took her photo! Next day….day AFTER Christmas…all expectations over and gone. First…….in the gardens, a Morphie baby(a blue morph breed of which one befriended me who has since died) arrived and went under the leaf like her mom and let me do anything!!! Flash at 3 inches away….over and over…from every direction….tilt…flash……turn….flash……..forward….back…….!!!!  The emotion of it overtook me and I sat on the earth and cried. A true Christ mas gift. A friend. That night, I decided to publish the insect page on FB that I’d been creating for weeks. I wanted to grab a few last minute photos from the laptop. As I did, I found a folder I thought lost. Inside………… guessed it. My Christmas mushroom. The original mushroom, yes, but as I’d thought it lost forever… me…it was the mushroom again. As if I’d just taken the photo. God loves me. Signing off in Quebradas, CostaRica where snakes are very long, the best fruits ripen in summer, and 3 little extra small opossums tried to make a nest in my roof….the hissing and then the image in my head of them falling and running around hissing in circles….caused me to play music and talk loudly. We’ll see. Haha. LoveLove


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