LIFE….like fine wine

I’ve been quiet. I’ve been absorbing and pondering. Analyzing. Sometimes it can feel as if I analyze things to death but in the end…it’s always perfect. The perfectness of life, the timing of it all….the preciseness of it all. Let me explain. I’ve been struggling with my purpose. It always felt so weighty to me…something I wasn’t BIG enough to do. So I stayed small. On purpose. I was avoiding my purpose via FEAR. So what if my purpose seems grandiose. So what if its off the wall. I can’t keep avoiding it can I? So a couple months ago, while in a somewhat hypnotic state……it’s hard to explain, it’s like a channel I send myself into when I do these soul sessions with Rhonda. When she asks a question of my higher self, my eyes close, I lean forward and I go into this certain channel in my brain. Out come the answers. I was told who I was and why I was here. Haha. Can I scream now?  Let’s just say that it was a doozy. So, I digested that and sat with it. Life happened, and it changed. It grew. I digested and sat with it. Life happened and it changed. It grew again. What I’ve realized is that when I have the idea, and I trust….don’t act……wait…….the idea will change. Mature, like fine wine. The first one was premature. An ejaculation of pure passion without design. Not ready yet. Not time. And here’s the thing…as time goes by….as life lives…….it all changes. New ingredients are added to that stew and the taste changes. Once I think I have all the ingredients, it simmers…..but no….life is never out of new ingredients. As I walked into the Feria yesterday(early for Christmas), I had solved the dilemma of my purpose. I knew how to spin the wool of that garment………………and THEN…I walked into the colors……….the market……………….and it drained right out of my mind and went straight into the stew without me knowing and remembering the ingredient. Horrors! I finally had the answer I sought…………….and I forgot it? Ya.  I did. And here’s where I prove to you……………..that every interaction I had in that feria……..changed who I was. Changed my perceptions on life. Changed my thoughtwaves. Changed my intents, my wills, my desires, wishes, my everything. In 5 hours, I had changed so sufficiently……….that the stew was completely new. That lost ingredient just that…………lost. Lost in the newness of me.  Guess I better eat some stew.

 

So, while I’ve been pondering this heavy giggly purpose, as usual, I’ve been just a changin and a changin. Things that used to be normal to me….are no longer tolerated. I evolve daily. I learn so much crap that you’d think I lived in a shitpile. Maybe I do. Maybe the earth right now is a huge compost system……and soon……….we get to plant the seeds. If I jump into cloudview, the world and the people in it are indeed changing too. The big picture is losing some of its grey. In the meantime….there is still so much to make better. There are so many lies that need straightened out so the path is not so crooked. We are all on a path. You were told what you were told as a child and this formed your beliefs. Your path. Same for me. We’ve been told wrong. They feed us lies to stifle us. Stunted flowers. You see, apparently it is not good to have creative individuals. The powers that be on this planet, remove any shred of possibility for humans to succeed in the things that really matter. They begin very early. They start…..the day we are born. They make a birth certificate, that sells you to the Government. Yup. And that bonded paper has now been bought by China, so while they are over there buying bottles of air that should be given free……………to breathe…………..to live…………………..they own us. China owns you. Once you’re owned, then they teach what will help in THEIR agenda. They teach you all the stuff to be a productive non individual cookiecutter rote thing. Their 9-5 slave. They teach you that believing in things is harmful to the heart. Beginning with Santa and the Easter Bunny. They teach you to give up your personal space and do as society says….hug this one, kiss that one, sit on this ones lap.

  

    
    
    
   
Do you ever ask yourself why you’re here? What the purpose of life is? Do you ever wonder if there’s something you’re supposed to do while you’re here? Or is life just about existing…breathing……staying alive….breathing. NO MATTER WHAT. What if we are supposed to do something? Seriously!!! It is my belief………………after 54 years of pondering, that the goal of humans………..is to go up the spiral ladder. IF this is true……………then just going about life….is the long way. Sure, go for it. Honey, I’m all about shortcuts created by those ahead of me. OH…but carefully. There are deadends there too. Choose your paths and who to follow carefully.

 

What I learn in one nanosecond………..colors me. One nano encounter with a human………colors me. My colors change my portrait. My portrait is fluid like water. I am a drop. I dew. I seek other drops. I will never forget the death of my precious baby goat. I loved this baby so. When I found her in the morning, she was covered in dew. gaiaeye3

gaiaeye2

This was the day GOD showed me the drops. Because of those drops, I was able to see the beauty in the horror of the death. The ending. Beauty in the ending. And now, since I’ve been having love dripped into my psyche for months now………………………….I see beauty in all phases. Even the pain. It’s not really the pain so much as it is the worlds reaction to it. Did someone see that you had pain? For me, it all goes back to early childhood………….”Did you see me” Watch me”.  This is the human goal. Not the plan, but what the humans want to be the plan. This is what we do. See me, notice me, watch me. This probably arises after 9 months in a dark cave, then about 400 days before we can say a word….therefore a want, need, wish. Then……we are told when to speak, what to speak, where to speak, how to speak. Free expression. We ARE headed back to that. So many changes need to happen. To start somewhere……………………….let’s stop the insane practice of removing the WOMANS pleasure from her body. Let’s leave the clitoris’s……………alone!!! If not……then removal of male penis is in order as well. And no…………….the circumcision does not remove pleasure…….if it did………..there would be no rapes in the world. There ya go….neither gender has pleasure…..no babies are born…..world drops to sustainable population and wala…………………there…..go for it. Save the world. OR……………stop the insanity and recognize that without that clit………..you he, they…..would NOT BE HERE. And if you are………you were not made from love. Not the best way to begin life. I have soooo much to say right now. I’m feeling so very blunt. Hope you stick around for the truths. Signing off at Quebradas CostaRica where the birds sing day and night, tiny bugs squirt stuff at you in defense, and for this gal…Christ mass is no more. Ahhh….stay tuned. PS……………..all you enlightened ones………we are the god? Right, ok……….so who made us? Where did it all start? Somewhere….it started somewhere. That’s my God….and heshe is most the most awe of awe. The dew of my heart.

   
    
    

    
(This is my True Selfie thingy…its drops!!!)

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s