I am matter and I am perfect. I am perfect and I matter. You say I am not perfect? Who say? They say. Who is they? I. I say wrong. I say error. I say hoax. Listen to me now. I want to share a new way of thinking. What is matter and antimatter? Everything ever created is….matter. And if it was created,….it mattered. Everything not created yet…is antimatter. (took em thousands of years to figure out the yin to that yang, go figure) So look out at the night sky. The vastness of it all. The antimatter of it all. And then look at yourself. God created every single cell in your body. As a sculptor, I know what this entails…..to the minutest degree possible. I know that with 7 or more billion people on the planet and none looking exactly alike….that the designer is one who cares immensely. Each human, a work of art. Each animal, a work of art. Each plant, flower, star, bug, rock, raindrop, grain of sand, wisp of wind. All of these are the fruits of God, His beauties…lovingly created with precision and detail so extreme it affects a hundred years. A sculptor must insert every single hair on the head of her creation. Imagine….arms, legs, belly, back….and even chinny chin hairs for us Crones to prove we have wisdom! (3rd eye antenna!) So yes, God does know how many hairs are on your head…..so…….why then…….is it ok……for us to trash HIS ART??????
If I were to go to Iraq and lasso me one of those Isis people…………….tie him up, strip him of his peers…give a bit of time for life to fall off of him…………he will become weary. When he becomes weary, he will break. Break free of the mindset he has been keeping. Now….ask him. Why do you think it’s ok to kill these people? Why is it ok to cut off their heads and to cause so much fear? His answer will be…..because nobody cared about me. This caused an anger. Like a grain of sand that got under his fingernail….it festered. Every thing. Every fear. Every loss. Every dream. Every harm. All comes to love. Were you loved enough? For long enough? Well enough? Truly enough? Deeply enough? Thoroughly saruratedly enough? Enough? The right kind? The right color? (maybe you are loving that with red when it is begging for pink…..ie, intensity) Perhaps we need lessons on love? Love is…..seeing someone. Love is…….listening. Love is….buying peoples chairs….love is…….holding hands during fears…….love is…..saying the truth even if it hurts….love is….seeking each others dreams….love is….saying no. Saying yes. Giving a damn to bother with either a no or a yes. Love is…..a touch. I don’t know if the new generation has been made aware of what was discovered about love and babies. Once upon a time, this was big news. It was discovered at an orphanage. The babies who were not held or cuddled or loved in any way….died. Once they figured this out, they began to touch all the babies. I was not in an orphanage, but I was not touched. I was not hugged. Which brings us to…..perfection again. How can it be that an untouched baby dies and that is perfect? Well….if that baby had not been born, had not been untouched, and had not died with a witness, then another baby would have died. And another. That one babys created life….mattered…..even if only for a few weeks or months, hours or days. So is it ok that the baby was not touched? Yes. Is it ok that I wasn’t touched? Yes. Everything is ok. Everything is a teacher. Paris is a teacher. SandyHook is a teacher. Syria is a teacher. Everything is written in the book of life………one day I hope we get to read it.
Cancer is a teacher. Did you just spend months and months of quality one on one time with your family member? Do you now have memories to carry you? Did you learn anything about the strength of the soul you just helped to release? Did you learn anything about yourself? Did your loved one leave this awesome planet….KNOWING he/she was loved? Death is a teacher. Impending death is a teacher. While I’ve been inside impending death, I’ve been taught more than when I was just inside life. Life is tame….death is the dance. The death of one is food for another. The death of one is the rise of another. The death of one is the sweet relief of another. While I was trying to stay alive….I learned how to die. While I was learning how to die…..I lived.
Being abandoned is perfection….it leads to being found. Being ignored is perfection….it leads to birthing proof of yourself. Being beaten is perfection….it leads to compassion for others. You see, prayer is difficult when you see the webs……the cobwebs…..the lace work of God. What to pray for? That leads to that, which touches that, which bounces off that and goes there………how does one pray in a world of matter and antimatter….swimming in a world of perfection? I say, one learns to love what is already here…..the matter. It’s here, it matters. And then…….ponder your life. What would you like to do with it that you’re not doing? What did you dream when you were a child? Well…..when you know….when you have remembered…..reach out….grab some of that antimatter that’s just sitting in front of your face…and make something with it! Create! You are a mini god…..so go be godlike! You are the co-director of your life……write some lines! Stage some scenes.…and don’t forget to write yourself in some change of scenery!
Still………..not all feels perfect. Back to that bible……..wisdom brings pain thing…… I now know that plant life…..is alive like we are alive. It is born, it breathes, it dies. Trees, plants, flowers, grass, moss, etc…….all alive. Are they conscious? I think so. How to eat that? How to landscape that? I hear the gardener and I wonder if on another dimension there are screams being heard. Or maybe here, in this dimension…..but the screams are at a frequency so high we can’t hear, like a dog whistle. Or the cows…. Or the childrens books that show the animals families so happy……while that child eats said animal for dinner. BUT…………the mere fact that I am saying this IS INDEED perfection…….God made me this way…..breathed the words right into my design. Which means He also breathed the words of the murderer into design. Today there is a video going around the world of a little boy being told that the flowers and candles were to protect him from the bad guys. We would not be seeing that video…..people would not be learning that lesson from that particular babe….had there NOT been the devastation in Paris. To every thing there is a reason and a season. Knowing this…………….I await my reason…..and my season. Signing off in Costa Rica where the dogs wouldn’t dare, most deliveries are made by motorcycle drivers who know how to dive and slide, and white people leave their trash and the ticos sell it to the next white people who come. Recycle baby! But what I realllllllly want to say is this…………………..IF I Can care soooo deeply about the plants screaming………………that they matter to me!!!!………….they why oh why………….did I not matter? Where was the love? I want some. Send me some. Thankyou. And so what if I’m different…I’m perfectly different. PS…what you focus on…is what you see.
(Look at these 2 photos for the WHY