Ok, so I lied. Pretty much the only version of a lie you will get from me, except omission ones. I don’t think I’m able to stop talking about the changes I’m experiencing. I said I’d try. It slipped into todays and it’s already here in tomorrows. So it’s a trylie. My manner was different when dealing with my hubby today. Much different. And, tonight, I heard myself stop a thought and correct it….while feeling like the observer!!! Hahaaaaa! Take that Monk! Lol. Ya, this said from the gal who finds it so difficult to meditate. Any excuse not to. Change? Me? What, you mean the music playing in the background while I type? The Spanish music allowed to randomly play? Ha. Ya. That. But it’s got my body wigglin back and forth and the ole head is a bobbin. Speaking of dancing……I haven’t told you yet about my full moon night. We didn’t go to the dance at SOL. We stayed here cuz I listened to the frog. In case it means warning, like it does in Texas for me, I saw it and said no…lol, plus the taxi was so much and I wasn’t wanting to spend that. Anyway, Summer played DJ with ceremony and tribal music….and we each did our own thing. Eyes closed, I let my body move as it wanted, like in the movie Shall we Dance. Nothing graceful mind you, although I’m working on that, but more of a listening. To only move one finger. One tip of one finger. Dance.
So tonight, I had that thought and corrected that thought and saw myself witness it, and recognize it as a box on a spiritual Angelic checklist being checked off. Done. Check. I don’t even remember what it was. Doesn’t matter. Done. Oh, it had to do with the power of my thoughts. I was thinking about something and thought….I didn’t think it would. I heard that and answered, …so it didn’t. And then I did an aha and higherself suggested I respond to this new idea with my life. Ya, he seemed to think it was a good idea. I haven’t told you. My higher self is a male. I feel him sometimes now. And there’s that unnamable emotion again. Oh Lordie, it’s so common now, yet I cannot even name it. OH!!! And I challenged a fear tonight. The stove was not letting out the propane hissing sound. I asked neighbor…..first brave thing….then, it went out again, so it was up to me. I had to deal with the dreaded propane. Always been scared of that stuff. Don’t understand it so I fear it. Well, I did it. And in the dark. Told hubby………I’m goin out, refuse to be in fear, stay with me. Ha! I did it!!! And….I’m drinkin hot tea. Oh woe to be me. OH yay to be ME!!! Welcome to my new brain. Night night.
Yesterday was a banner mushroom day, not that there were that many new kinds, more that there were shitloads!!! My eyes were finding them in the strangest of places. I was pondering a trip home to get supplies and there were all these dang mushrooms! Like, are you trying to tell me I shouldn’t go? But the feeling is persisting so….. we shall see. Today I didn’t figure there would be much new, but I went out anyways…..and the gardener was here! Amid many giggles, were many uggggh’s and NOOOOOO’s and arrrghhhhhh’s, as I came upon the catastrophic shrub and leaf trimmings. Ohhhhh, the Armageddon of it all. It wearies me, but I am learning to unattach myself….ya, that again. So, although I grumbled, I still was lovin that old man. And he IS old. He came then, and met me in the nature path now chainsawed up….with momochinos!!! Hairy fruit, right off the tree……removed with a loooong thing. So, when the landlady gets home in a few weeks, I’ll ask her if we can show him a few places to…..let BE. While in that alley, a new blue butterfly flew past. Never seen this one!!! Happens all the time…..and they avoid me at first. Like a tease to get me wanting the photo……and it’s usually weeks before I finally am allowed to take the shot. Also, an actual Blue Morpho zipped past me as always…..going 90 mph. It’s ok though. I don’t mind. That breed is hunted and captured……for earrings. I tell her it’s ok….don’t trust me….don’t trust any human!!!!
So……after last night’s epiphany….which of course I already knew, but folks…..there’s levels of knowing…I know now that self talk is gonna be my uprise. The opposite of downfall. I’m already catching myself putting it into play. It’s almost as if I am now the witness of me, instead of being me. Or at least sometimes. Life is so weird now. Is that cuz I met my higherself? This is all so weird. Haha, like stuff you sorta believed but not entirely??? OH!!! Yay, I finally remember to tell you! Well. I’ve been alive 54 years. A few weeks back….I witnessed something wow. The stars…..were dancing. I mean dancing! All of them! It was the most beautiful thing I’ve seen since….oh heck, who am I foolin…….everything is so beautiful. The butterflies, the flowers, the hummingbirds, the birds, the dew, the rainbow, the sunlight on life. Ya, anyways…it was a giggle event. I don’t think there is another more proper response. Many thankyous and smiles as well. Oh….also, there are some who believe that pain…..is an entity. They call it the pain body. I’ve been able to separate myself from it for a few moments at a time….haha, so say yay Sunshine! I was about to say the word BUT. As in, but not many times. I correct my thoughts as they fly by. Okie dokie….signing off with the rumble of rainy season thunder ringing in my ears. Or would that be booming. Fixin to have a chat with Mr PainBody in a minute and escort him to the door.