Today, I did things a little differently. Instead of just arriving outside and informing Mother that I am there and am comin in……haha…to her world of nature, that is……this time, I stopped and stood still as I asked. I said I came seeking mushrooms and anything they wanted me to see, to experience. I wondered aloud as I walked….where are all the mushrooms? I actually asked!!! See, usually I’m so excited to be out there, that I announce my arrival and dive in. No. No mushrooms. When I got to the place I was soooooo hoping to find a gift I’d forgotten to take yesterday……..it was gone. Even though I go by the premise of….if it’s still there, it’s meant for me to have it, I couldn’t help my disappointment. It was a butterfly, dead, and separated. As a couple tears made their way down my cheek against my wishes, Spirit gave me a different gift. A butterfly whose wings looked like water colors in the rain……allowed me to lift her up. She then rode on my finger throughout a portion of my shrooming. Last night, I did the same with a small moth, who stayed with me at least half an hour!!! As I mumbled and groaned about the carelessly broken shrub branches, I realeyes’d that these shrubs were a playground for the neighborhood insects.
So……….haha…..ya. I switched from looking down….to looking up. Which is exactly what happened yesterday which caused me to see….but forget my wing gift. It was up high, where I rarely see things. Like the day I saw the clear gel mushroom in the shrub on the branch….one of my all time favorite mushies and photo. It was unusual. Most mushrooms are either on log or a tree or the ground. This one was just sitting on a branch….mid height. Haha….like he had him a highrise!!! Ya…..it was his highrise that the gardener knocked off, among many many other really neat childlike cooooool places that I was watching and charting. Gone. Like those log shrooms with the crystal balls covering it, that might have been zombie ants……ya. Dead. A tiny hole, that I was watching closely to see who lived in it……..damaged beyond repair. For me, it’s like walking into a warzone after the dude leaves. Don’t laugh!!! It breaks my heart!!! :=)) I nearly left because of it…..felt like a sign. Oh, but speaking of sign……..today, also in a highrise position……in one of those same shrubs, was a good size chunk of snake skin. Oh Lordie! Yes. So I asked if it was meant for me and got a hefty yes….after all, I am lassoing up some courage to hold some snakes to confront my fear. Soon. Those snakes are in the valley which requires a bus or taxi and pretty much a days time. But ya….I remind myself every day that the snakes could be up above me….tree snakes! So now that I’m looking places other than down…..my odds of seeing them, go up…..but my God is an Awesome GOD. When it’s time is when I will see, and not one second before.
Theoretically, I can die now. I have birthed and held 2 living children, and loved them through the decades, I have held 2 hummingbirds(one I killed, one I saved) and now I have held 2 butterflies. Yes. I don’t know how God would top these. I’ve experienced the best that this world has to offer, and now all else will pale. Ahhhh, but I do so love pale as well. In fact, pale pink…….the palest of pale……is my favorite color of all time….but nobody knew this until today. It’s a tiny little rose. Haha….I am a rose. You got a problem with that? Take it up with God. He made me a Rose. But I am not red. I usually don’t bother telling people, hubby included, because the color is so precise, that I highly doubt he or anyone but me, would know it from the thousand other pinks. Parrots! Parrots are flying over! They never fly alone and it’s always a very loud event. Have yet to see it here, but know the sound. I’d love it if they stop and hang out in these trees sometimes. Yesterday I was in the thicket by the cabin and I heard noises above my head….on the banana leaves….so I ran out…………to find a long tailed kinkajou(I think) running off the huge leaf and onto the wires. Minutes later, I surprised a squirrel who was sitting on a tree trunk about to eat a hard earned avocado. We surprised each other cuz he was only like 3 ft away before we saw each other. Hilarious. That’s about it for exotic animal encounters so far in Costa Rica. I get most of my Exotic fix, with the mushrooms and the insects. The birds are really cool too but none beat the hummingbird for me. Over 50 varieties, did ya know? The teeniest are so cool!!! Here at the cabina, we get the hummers, the tanagers so vivid red it drips, and a mid size brown bird. That’s all. But we more than make up for it with the mushrooms!!! Oh, and right here as well, I’d say, oh………..maybe 15-20 butterfly species. There are way more down in the valley. Saw the morpho today! Fast lil bugger.
I went out again. While there, once again, I was thinking about those wings I didn’t get. Another time I found a beautiful pristine white moth. I laid him aside, under a shrub and out of the way till I was done shrooming. When I came back….he was…..well, he was a moth cell here, a moth cell there. The jungle carried him away, like calgon but no return from the drain. Ya, I have a strange humor, wonder if anyone but me gets it. So…..where were we? Oh ya, I was being greedy again. Thinking about that missed chance at butterfly wings. (I have MANY), and another gift arrives!!! A stunning dragonfly. My relationship with God amazes me. He soothes me in so many ways. Like today, twice!!! So that makes me think. Why not on the times where I cry out….Help me God! Why do I not feel Him then? Perhaps the answer lies in the reason for the cry. Perhaps the reason is not real. Perhaps the sadness is created by ME, but not intended by GOD, therefore, it is my duty to see….and remove myself from that dimension. Hmmmm. Ooooooooh. Hmmmmm!!!!! Haha. Is it just me? Anyone else pondering right now??? Ok…late gator. Signing off in Costa Rica.