baby steps……

Last night, as I was settling in to sleep, after the Womens Gathering, I was spreading my blanket back out on the bed. I had taken it with me. As I prepared to lay it down, I decided to see if the art was the same on the back. It had been a lion laying down, for all these months. I squealed as I could see that in fact, it was not the same on the back and I quickly flapped it in the air and as it floated down…..I could see that it was a POWERFUL LION. A much different look than the flip side. I woke up……the same. On the flip side. Powerful. I woke up as the baby of the Woman I shall be. Every moment I shall grow into her more and more and we shall remember and be. I was standing in front of the window drinking my morning tea, thinking about the hummingbird gift. Realeyesing that it was indeed a gift, a catalyst to show me….prove to me…..that I was who I thought I was. Sounds silly, but hey…..that hummingbird let me ….allowed me. Allowed my energy to come into his and save him. As that act shattered the mask I’d worn my whole life, I remembered the zipper I used to know I had…..unzip and peel the skin away and you get ME. A powerful being…..playing a game, in a human suit. So….as I’m thinking this…..a hummingbird….the exact same kind……came to my window. He wore the blues and had the curved beak, with the beautiful fan tail. He arrived………with my thought. He was an acknowledgement, that I was correct. I have woken. I may not have memories just yet….but I certainly saw it for a split second while dancing ecstatically like a Priestess from old. Then my ego jumped in and it was gone. But I saw it. OOOooooh, I saw it. Felt it.

The last night of the gathering, I heard an owl. I have only heard one owl in Costa Rica since I arrived 6 months ago. Owl is my main totem. This was a different owl. A different sound. I wanted to know what he looked like so I tried once again…to see with my 3rd eye. He posed for me. He posed in the form of a photo I would find the next day. This is what he showed me. So….my first…conscious……3rd eye SEE!!!!! Another thing. I was also able to root myself in a proper manner. I’ve been sending roots from my root chakra down into the earth and forming a tree for years and years. Yesterday, I finally rooted spiritually. It was a Grandmother Tree. Full of bumps and nobs. Like an ancient willow. I was once MamaWillow. Of course I was. Are we noticing a theme here? I surely am. Just a week ago….I was at a bitter brink. The greatest changes….come when we reach bottom. I was at a different kind of bottom than the alcoholics, but it was still a bottom. A serious low that I knew not, how to get up from. That I/She has slipped away. Goodbye sweet Sheri. I love you and Thank you for coming!!! It has been an honor. Your loyalty and love for all things…..was truly valiant. Aho.

I told the ladies at the Gathering that I was changing so fast I was meeting myself four and five times a day….sayin howdedo….then whamo….a new awareness and I am new again! While that is absolutely true and accurate…..there is a difference in the degree of change. The degree of New. How new? A crawling baby? Just born? Still in the womb? Or perhaps even, just conceived!!! Sure, they accumulate, but sometimes….it’s just BIGGER. This change is bigger. I have to keep hold of it though. Keep the blood surging through me. Keep it. This is my challenge….to hold onto and keep birthing forward….like the seeds I see here in the jungle. Bursting forth.

Oh! They laughed. Again! People laughed when I spoke after the ayahuasca too. Interesting that somehow I become humorous. I don’t recall being funny before in my life. I can’t wait to see what other new traits God has in store for me. Like little gifts. Today, when I woke up feeling all ancient and strong…..all woman…hear me roar….I was outside before a half hour had gone by. I’d been gone for several days and I needed to see the mushrooms! Oh my goodness……it was Christmas here in the yard! My spirit recognized it as a reward for hard work well done. The old stumps the gardener had weedwhacked….were suddenly shady….and revealing mushroom newness!!! Everyone was regrowing it seems!!! The burgundy ones who had been so ruthlessly chopped down in their old age….springing forth as babes in the woods. It was as if the butterflies and bugs were showing me ones I might miss. Just everywhere I ever look….mushrooms! I giggled. And when I wasn’t giggling, I was saying….I’m so tired. For nearly 3 hours I said, I’m so tired. I couldn’t stop. Too exciting…watching nature….life at its finest. Finally I rested. Like now. Night night!!! I shall wake up strong, vibrant, capable and secure. 12:16am=1=beginnings. Ya. Ps. She’s HOME!!! And yes, I now call this place home….as well as the Texas one. What did ya think of that gorgeous spider yesterday???? Night. Lovelove.

I wonder if it’s time to reconsider this blog? I began with half angora goat life and half my spiritual journey. Now, I’ve sold the goats and it has changed to… and healing and exotic plant medicines after being told I was dying…..which by nature, includes living in COSTA RICA and what that’s like….and of course….my spiritual journey. See, I want to help others where I can. If you can gain by what I’ve already gone through…great! You’re welcome! So, I guess I either need to retire my blog writing skills….or, figure out how and where to share it, to get exposure. Promoting myself was always a struggle….I need to fix that. Any ideas? I woke up today also feeling strong. I’ve decided that I really like ceremony and want to incorporate it into my daily life as much as possible. The candle lighting is no longer a night only thing and I will incorporate ceremony as I go. I’m still having flashbacks of the moment while dancing where I felt myself in another time and place. So friggin awesome. Today I’m having some strange and irritating ear vibrations and quivers. I just tried reiki, and while it did not help the ear….I don’t think it’s meant to……I felt the energy in a huge way today….rather like electricity! My hands were electric. Goodness. September is halfway over. The whispers, fears, the Pope saying Angelic beings(extraterrestrial) that wont interfere if conquering aliens arrive……….told him we got shit comin in the next couple weeks. Great. Trying to make decisions…..ha. Not possible. Perhaps on Oct 1, I may make a decision or two. If it hasn’t happened by the 29th……we be safe, eh? Lol. Oh…..and I don’t think my UFO photos are real. Saw another sun photo today….it also has the white ball….but it was in the trees. Highly doubt the UFO was in the trees. It was fun to think about for a bit. I didn’t share the photos here. Maybe I’ll show you one. Ok….signing off in Costa Rica baby!!! PS…………………..if you haven’t read yesterdays blog about the Sacred Feminine Gathering I was just at……GO! Read!!!  Love love. PSSS….frog came again.


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