Divine Sacred Feminine…We ARE

I must speak what is in my heart. Life constricted and squeezed and even sliced me up, but it steered me where I needed to be. A place I saw in visions of the heart but not the mind. My mind does not like group get togethers. Large events. Crowds. Women. Oh, I love women, don’t get me wrong, but in the story of me, we rarely got along. I wanted to go to these things….felt it was my destiny but I didn’t think I would conquer my fear, so it was only half hearted hope. Like the diamond, I was put under pressure. The pressure was so intense, the fire….so hot. I was spit out….into cool waters. I was invited by my daughter to go to a Gathering of the Sacred Feminine. Those fires I mentioned, involved my daughter. If I went….I would get to see her. I really needed to see her. To be in her presence. So, I put my fears, worries, whatevers, aside and said yes. I’ll go. Within 5 minutes, a ride appeared with a smile. Meant to be??? So, I have just spent 3 days with a magnificent collection of strength and beauty. I witnessed it. Love oozed onto every surface of this sanctuary. I was so preoccupied with my own issues, that I really wasn’t comprehending what I was entering into. I told the ladies in the car on the way that most likely I would be calling a taxi and be gone after a hug and a good giveitago. (sorry, this word cannot be translated) Every single moment there….made it easier and easier and more desirable to stay for the next moment!

As the ceremony began, it was all centered around the most beautiful, thoughtful, complete, necessary….altar. By altar, I mean………utter beauty. Representations of our guides, the animals, the earth, the flowers, plants, fun, beauty, life, fruits, and light….in its many forms, not just the candles…..all …so very carefully chosen. Not just that…it was also spiritly placed. Where I sat, and also where I had placed my own specials on the altar….was between the North and the West on the Medicine Wheel. Right there, very close together, were frog, owl and spider. All spiritual guides for me, but I hadn’t even noticed them when I chose my spot. My guess would be that this happened to others as well. It was raining synchronicity and alignment. The beautiful woman who created that altar, also did the first nights speaking…on Sacred Feminine. When she began to speak…..I finally understood why I was here. It was more than my daughter. Much bigger. MUCH bigger. It was my future. It was my destiny, my purpose, my authenticity. My identity. I don’t need to hide who I am anymore. I can remember now. I can come out now. Like the little girl, sent to her room, who has sulked and screamed and begged and cried…..and during moments of extreme, even a few smiles and giggles. I exit the room a new being….It’s time. I can come out now. It’s time to play. My life has been hard. Now it’s time to play. And by that…………………………………………….I mean……………………………… Do what I came for. And what I came for…..only a woman can do. I am. I am on purpose. I feel it surge through my fingers, with all its ancientness. It is waking up within me, like the kundalini……the snake that rises through our bodies and the one in the earth as well. I am closer to that snake here………it has moved recently, to South America….from Tibet. I’m in Central America….called, by life and supported by Spirit/God…..and…..other women. (yo….shoutout to my husband…thankyou too). I digress.

   
    
    
   

You see…..the significance of this gathering…..for me, was profound. I work behind the scenes in life…to assist…life. This requires a willingness to obey when Spirit/God asks. I am willing. Spirit knows this. On Winter Solstice, Dec 21,2006, Spirit took me on a spiritual mind journey for 3 days. It began with an ask. God…..asked me to dance. It was late, I wasn’t feeling well, thus not eating thus the visionary state. I was in my hallway. God said dance. I said, ok….and I danced. NO….outside. What? It’s cold! I’m sick…going to bed. Dance. Ok. So I danced. I was then instructed very specifically………to shift the masculine…to the feminine. This was to be a temporary move, I could feel this…..a thing to get the world ready I suppose. In 2010, I was asked to dance again…..to shift it back. I did. So…..to be here…..with these women…..as the speaker was describing the full on shift….the way it was and the way it will be…….for hours, she wove the future for us all….like a spider. And we covered it in light. We all helped birth the new age. This is happening and has been happening, across the globe. There was much crying. What I saw….was that life had tested…………..oh I mean tested………….and tried and pushed and pulled and just plain HURT these women. And all………yes, even me……..knew deep down that we were meant to be in this room….actually so much more it’s just so hard to relate. It took all 3 days for this to be achieved. I saw it. Felt it. It wasn’t until the morning of the 3rd day, that many felt the roots……………..the feminine roots. They are surging through me right now. It’s like wandering in the desert….knowing you’ve got a job to do and you can’t find it. It’s hot….there are swarms of bugs that choke the life out of you but you don’t die…you keep going and going…seeking…………………………………seeking. Found.

By the time the gathering was over……we were all stronger. All wiser. All women and we knew it. Womanly things were discussed. Rhythms were found. I danced. Not a God ASK dance…no….this was a SheriSunshine ASK. Months earlier, when I first arrived in Costa Rica, I had asked to be free. Free to express myself if I wanted. I asked for help. I wanted like a party….to push me, challenge me…..where I forced myself out of my box. I expressed it. Several times, but it wasn’t time apparently.  Last night, however, the freedom was sparked. It was delicious. I watched wild wild free to move the body….dancing. I envied it sooooo badly. I woke up this morning saying the event needed to be longer because just as it was ending, I was finally gaining enough belief in myself, to dance. For the first time in my life…I WANTED to dance! Guess what? When I talk to the universe……….haha. Ya. Dancing!!! Before we left!!! I stomped!!! I twirled…I lifted my hands and turned them delicately, in an attempt…..a babystep toward gracefulness. Oh Lord…………….it worked!!! I am dancing now as I sit here and I AM FREE to flow. Not saying its fluid…….it may be, but it’s beautiful to me. Freedom. The song right now is singing ‘freedom….freedom…strong my roots….deep into the ground. Strong my wings…way beyond the sky.’ How funny. Typically it’s the tv that does that, but I’m inspired to listen to a Ghanapati mantra. Freedom. Yes. Now, it’s up to me to hold the knowledge and the memories and the belief…in my heart….to keep me whole. When I say belief….I mean…belief. Have you ever been believed in? It’s more precious than gold. By the end of the event, we all saw the magnificence….the Goddess…..the ancient wisdom….in each heart beating there. We believed in each other with all of ourselves. Belief gives us the strength for another step, or a leap if necessary….and it looked to me like there was about to be a whole lotta leapin goin on!!! Oh gosh…speaking of leaping!!! I saw the most awesome insects!!! It was like Christmas! Katydid hung out with us a lot and even jumped on me. Then there were these grasshoppers. Oh man…not just any grasshopper!!! Oh no! These guys were exquisite, with their many colors, intricate designs and most awesome textures! This one was so long….that It will take me 2-3 photos to show you his detail. A tiny white thing that looked like a scrap of a scrap. The dragonflies. The butterflies. The transformations going on…. and then……. For me, a highlight of my life.

Today, a hummingbird became trapped in the eaves. Bang bang bang into the wall….trying to find a way out. We were on a conference call with another group of women in another country, doing a meditation, but I couldn’t remain seated. I had to save it. I knew it was getting tired. As I ran up the steps, another animal lover ran with me. As we climbed the bunk stairs way up……we saw the bat…hanging upside down like in all the movies. Oh wow me oh my. I witnessed this!!! The hummingbird flew out of there….and landed too high up….we grabbed a chair and a cloth to catch it with and my new friend tried to catch it. It flew away….over to a window….and I was thinking…you will not bang your body one more time!!! I told it it was staying there….that I was going to pick it up. I was going to help it. It clung to the screen and did NOT fly away. I reached it and my hands slowly came toward him…he didn’t even flinch. I was holding a LIVING hummingbird!!! I got him downstairs, showed him to a few people and opened my hand. He lay there a moment, took a breath or two and stood up. With a flap….he was gone. A gift…………for us all…including him. I believe it was the last straw that shattered my mask. Stay broken….it’s my turn! Just as it is…our turn. Time for the women to rise. Stand up! Who are you? You are a lifetime…..you are a generation…..an evolution………a blood warrior….mother. If you think you have no children…wrong….the world…..is your child.  For three days…we were all boldly that. We were all slowly finding ourselves and letting our light shine. We joined our energies….mother, crone, woman and it crossed all barriers. All ego thoughts of…oh, I don’t like her, or she’s not my type……………..gone. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. So powerful. I have more to say about the sacred feminine, but it’s getting late and the intenseness of the weekend is catching up to me.  I asked the same question…….unequivocally stating that it was a test……to 6 different decks of spirit messenger cards. The question was……What can I do to bring out the woman in me who I know I was born to be? With the new tools I received, I believe I am on my way. Night night. 10:16pm = 8 = Infinity! PS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I woke up new again. Very new. Very different. Stay tuned. Holy Cannoli!!!

   
    
    
    
 

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