I think ones of the best ways to show you that brain waves are being tickled and maneuvered, is to tell you what I love about myself. That in itself, is a stunner with proof of life. Haha, well, proof of change anyways. You get my point……it’s a drastic switch from my usual words. Right now though, this minute…..i love that I can learn so fast and adapt that lesson into a changed being. Daily. Daily times 12….or so. I and I are the only ones who know the extent of the upgrades, rerouting of neural wiring and changing of the frequency of me. We, I can try to tell you but since you’re not inside, you won’t grasp the multitude. The second I do, grasp it that is……BLINK….I am changed. New. Brand new, because I now see the world through new eyes. My eyes are new all day long these days. The me…..seems to be incorporating LOVE. Living in every example, as I see it…..I then feel it…..and the love inside. Even the deep dark. There is still love inside. My judgements are shrinking, shrinking…..down to tiny seed sized specks that then turn into love. Love is the awe of the day for me now. I live there. It’s very heavy….but a good heavy. It’s a different kind of blanket laying on me. Covering me…………and it’s breathable!!! I can wear it….AND breathe!!!
I love that I am responding to the medicine so quickly and with great ease. Intentions I create and speak to her….Grandmother vine…….and soon……I feel and incorporate with swift wings. Yesterdays intentions were regarding freedom to do and be….to act in any whimsical way…without worry of others thoughts. As soon as a few hours later……I found myself singing harmony……and adding dips and dingles and dives and wingdings to the song. What fun!!!! That freedom…..was so freeing!!! I love that I am now blessing what needs blessed….with o’honopono. When something upsets me or triggers an intense emotion….I o’honopono it. For all intents and purposes…..I am the 100th monkey. I choose to be. I do this for all….including me. Through this….I am able to find the love in the dark. I can squeeze it out like an old toothpaste tube. I can forgive now….in moments. (this has not been true tested….thank God) But ya…..I love that about me…..I love that I can. And I love that I want to. During the last session with Rhonda, Summer was directed to tell me the things she loves about me…..and vice versa. It seems that she also loves this next thing about me…..: that what others would find mundane, my soul squeals with joy like a little child.
I love that I allow myself to grow so fast, like a tree. I remember the first time I did ayahuasca, I was terrified that I would have the dreaded double. Puke and diarrhea……at the same time!!! Oh the scene in my head just is hysterical! So, when I was puking, I was squeezing my glutimus maximus shut tight. And when I was diarrheaing……I held purges in. Until blue moon. Seriously ridiculous topic, but it is what it is. So…..I feel the need to poo. I go in to the very rustic outhouse, sit down and…………………….WHAM! I flew off that toilet so fast……..to puke! So I’m now in the pathway, puking. NO NO NO. So, I slide myself down the hill a bit and continue on. As the violent heaves are commencing, I realize I may indeed do the dreaded double. HAHA! I love ayahuasca!!! She helped me to not care. And suddenly…..I didn’t care. You don’t get much dirtier than that…….or grosser…….and I didn’t care. WOW. One piece of Ego took a bite of death. In the end….my pretty new white shirt did get puke spittle on it……as a badge of courage! I was just thinking. If I now have no more bad memories regarding my abusive ex…..and now my sisters……I bet it’s pretty much a no brainer at this point, to forgive and let go…to understand…to find the reason and the love, inside of each and every hurt I’ve got locked in my heart. In a few spiritual minutes…..I’ll be free of regret. WOW! That pretty much just leaves my mom, the babies, and the rapes. See, just a few minutes. Hehehe. Ok…..I reckon that’s all the I LOVE’s I’ve got for now, but be expecting them cuz I plan on sharing them as I find them. Like little tiny gifts…..offered to the world, simply by my being alive.
I am so thrilled at being alive at this time. Today there were so many mushrooms popping up to meet me, that I stayed outside hunting them as the rain went from a tiny trickle to an all out rain. I now belong to a few mushroom groups on FB, where I see some stunning displays of Godly beauty……so I believe I understand why I see what I see. What I see, are the teeny tiny’s. Not all that beautiful……but yet…………..when I see them….I squeal with delight! I giggle and talk to them. Today, in the rain…..it was as if they were being born for the rain. My friend Cathy pointed out last night on the phone…..that these mushrooms…..are my white and yellow flowers. That God once again, has lifted me out of my pit…..and given me singularities to focus on. Ahhhhh….and even then!!! I can be staring at a scene down there on the ground against the dead log…..squatted sown with it, focused on my prize….when in my camera viewfinder…..I see…..a mushroom! A completely different kind….that I hadn’t noticed, until I focused on the other. Such a delight. I still feel waves of sadness, but they roll onto the shores and dissipate. I’ve confirmed my existence with myself, and have come to terms with the terms of agreement I must have signed before coming to planet, lol. This alone……caused the brain shift. Now, I can heal the hepC if I want. I wasn’t going to if I couldn’t get the depression under control…..and the depression is now under control, SO………
What am I into these days besides mushrooms? Well, ayahuasca songs….cuz I’m doing the spoon protocol and therefore I’m singing the songs….which then stick to the psyche like noodles on a ceiling. What else? Hmmm. Oh….Ascended Masters, Violet Flame, videos by Anrita Melchizedek, singing, my art, still designing for when I get a sewing machine, ooooooh………a new vegetable! Oh my gosh, it’s huge and pretty! I showed a photo once but it’s of a cousin. These are really cool squashes with baubles and bubbles all over them of all sizes. So cool. BUT…..they taste awesome! The best orange sweet squash in the world. I love those, but this one tops all cakes. I’ll get a photo on Thursday. We’re gonna ask if there’s any cutting/preparation tips….cuz they be really hard and thick skins. Poor babies….hope they don’t hurt when we cut them. Oh ya…..I’m sorta trying meditation. I want to learn it finally, but the one I planned on going to….costs tons, and I’ll not do that. I’ve got my new life list going now….sorta. It has 11 items on it, but so far, I haven’t like gone down it one by one. IN any day. Lol. I will. I’ve been treating it like I used to treat housework…..a lil here, a lil there…..I pick, I choose. KK…….gonna go now. No fears to tell you about. No conspiracy theories. Just livin la vida pura!!! Lovin you! Ya YOU! Signing off with love in my gut……..from Quebradas CostaRica.