Waiting on God. Hmmm. This way of life is hard on the gut. I feel stress, not knowing. Several options are in the air…hovering, cooking, coalescing. While I, here on planet, am doing hard soul work. It is rewarding though. SO…..for any of you who were intrigued at the idea of the ayahuasca but are too scared to try….I have a safe harmless alternative for you. The Soul Freedom Technique that Rhonda is using with me. The reason I say it can replace aya…not replace but…well, shoot…just let me finish! With the aya, I was shown that my abusive ex husband was brought into my life to show me that I was an abuser to myself, that I beat me up way worse than he could. Well………………with the SFT(Rhonda), I was given another such aya type insight. The family I chose to come into….as a child…….created the me that was designed……by ignoring me, not wanting to be around me, not caring if I lived or died. HUH????? It’s simple. I was then forced to find LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, SELF ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE……..all on my own. Like a baby bird who has fallen from the nest….I found my own way. That was my design before coming here. When I designed this incarnation on the planet. Oooooh, this stuff is so cool! I’ve been intrigued with the idea I could find out these things, for years. I’ve uncovered altogether, counting other hypnosis events…..4 past lives. I’m not comfortable sharing them all, but I will share a peep into my past……..a tailor on cobblestone streets and a monk who was being tortured. I’ve had 2 sessions so far and both were wow! The 2nd being very helpful.
Times have changed here, therefore I know that the time to move on is growing closer. Not supposed to plan, remember? Well, the plan to go to SOL on Monday has not worked out. We may or may not end up there where I may or may not do a ceremony on the full blue moon on Friday…..and where I may or may not pick up some teaspoon a day medicine….which I would then take fairly quickly, in case of a move in another direction…..say………..NORTH! So yes, there is a particular place calling………..but I’ll hold off saying it to keep its energy integrity. This is a spiritual call. Not really a place of ……………..oh, I’ve always wanted to go there!!! No, more of a …..heart connection to the land and the people. I recently read a book that excited me to no end….haha…literally, no end cuz I may be going!!! Oh, but of course there needs to be an end cuz I have pups to see and other places to be called to. I felt the call then, while I was reading the book….but it wasn’t time. Then there’s the logistics of it all. Should I go? Will I have to go alone? Can I go alone? This place will require boat rides to and fro places…me, alone, doing that? Not sure. Oh, and God has lit a fire under one aspect of this journey. Once again, I need to keep it to myself, but I’m NOT a happy camper about it. People and their justifications. I swear. All I know is….my dander has been tweaked and pulled!!!
Oh hey!!! QUIT using that apostrophe with I and m. I’m. Erase that contraction from your memory banks. When we put the words I and AM together…we are telling the universe something. The universe listens and thinks we want that, so it tries to gather things and push and cajole things…to make that happen for you. So, if I were to say, I’m pissed…..that comes to….I am piss. Hmmm. I am urine. Urine is not a wanted item to have around, so you are telling the universe that you’re not good enough to be around. It will help you get there!!! So….a change of word phrasing is in order, now that we know how much power words have. Words….created everything. Let there be light…..were the words God first used after breathing the planet into being. In the bible….the WORD….is an entity. Honestly!!! So, the people who invented contractions….were most likely gov people, lol. Instead….say things like…I am worthy. I am smart. I am love. I am happy. It’s hard though. Anger can drive you to say the words I am pissed……….but you can shift it……..change it instead to something more like…..all I know is my dander has been tweaked and pulled. Hahaha!!! Yippykayay! On the other hand…..I can now look at the other side of it…and see the possible feelings of the other party. Understanding comes when you try to step into their skin for a second.
Last night I witnessed a once upon a time husband. I witnessed his loss of self. It was very sad. Apparently nobody wants to tell him how serious the body changes are. How serious the broken pieces are. This man was my husband. I slept next to him. I cooked for him. I loved him lightly. It was a failed marriage and he never recovered. I did. I needs must ohonopono this. He doesn’t understand….it was so obvious….he clearly was bumfuzzled that he was the one who clothed, fed and bathed our daughter through her life…yet she was choosing me to be with in the end…and not him. And he is quite sick….about to lose his home too. It was a very heavy layer of love for me to feel. I wanted to shout the truth to him….that he was broken. I wanted him to know, cuz I’d want to know. But I didn’t. I kept my mouth shut. Not sure I did his soul a favor. He doesn’t know!!! He thinks he’s just a little broken…so he keeps trying to take the computer test from before his accident. He’s in the dark and I don’t like that. I’m not allowed to send him healing energy….after I saved his life once with reiki…and told his parents…they were furious….demanded I never pray or heal him again. Go figure. (he had a hole in his liver I think it was….and surgery was to be in the morning….I sealed the hole and no surgery was required and he went home) Very sad. I did say a generic prayer last night…couldn’t help myself.
A year in a day. Yup….right after I spoke it…it happened. Lol, not truly a year but I bet it feels like a year to that lion killer! Honest to God…this is what I saw. Post 1……a dentist lured away and killed a lion! Post 2….did you see what the dentist did to the lion? Post 3……Dentist feeling heat for killing lion. Post 4……dentist fights back, defends killing lion. Post 5. Dentist is sorry and Post 6….Dentist closes his practice after backlash from killing lion. What the?????????? IN one day????? In ONE DAY!!!!! While that was happening to the lion killer….this lion….LEO with birthday approaching!!!!……..the landscaper here, cut my kitchen window flowers down!!! Not only that. He made it so ugly, plants laying on top of plants…dead now. Life. Gone. No more hummingbirds there. No more kinkajous. Very disturbing for me…..which upsets me enough to leave….with no hard feelings cuz once again….i believe it is part of the universe putting the players in place at certain intervals. I believe it is looking like another journey is about to begin. Oooooooh…….scary and thrilling and exciting!!! Oh my gooness!!!! I need to decide tonight….to take the rental place or not! There is a physical aspect to the Call to go there(which would fall into the art category)…..but mostly it’s a spiritual connection I’m feeling. And perhaps the rainbow energy needs anchored there. Ha, a side benefit! Ugggh….cool cuz I really need some fresh mushrooms to discover!!! LOL. I hope I’m not boring you with the mushroom shots….so cute. The photos are deceptive I’m sure…..so far, I haven’t found a mushroom larger than 2 inches, but the majority….are the size of…well, a bit smaller than a pea. Yes…very tiny world I’ve entered. Ok….signing off…in the rain….while I wait…….for signs. To aya or not to aya….to country hop or not to hop. To rent it or not to rent it. Screw it. I’m gonna rent it. ……………signing off from Quebradas Costa Rica(ten minutes from San Isidro) What an exciting time!!! To be alive at this time is AWE. Ps….24 hrs later, the internet wolves are now calling for the world to boycott the dudes business for life! WOW! Life in the NOW. PSS….google….spiritual lionsgate.