the cowardly lion…

This time on planet earth is scarier to me than any other. Scarier than Dec 21, 2012. Way. From every corner of the earth and from many cultures….I am hearing this is it. My mind has blanked it out but some renowned Jewish dude had a prophecy a week or so ago and I think it said something about July 12. Now yesterday I hear again July 12. I’m hearing different avenues of collapse……like different folders…….all within a time frame up till November. I hear nothing about November or after. It’s as if a button was pushed somewhere that unleashed all hell. Ya buddy, it broke loose and it appears to be coming our way. Let’s pray it away. After all, this is a hologram they say….maybe we can somehow crash the boat into the side of the hologram and tear a hole in the sky, revealing a whole other world……just waiting for us. A happy world. A world where the elites and leaders aren’t trying to kill all the minions. A world where everything has rights? Hmmmm……..I used to think that was a simple phrase. Of course. A no brainer. Oh boy howdy…..I didn’t reckon on this population brain mind that’s goin on right now. Holy cow….they want rights from before they were denied. A no win. Something is souring the earth. They say there was a blood moon over America the day the Supreme court made their infamous announcement. They say theres more coming. China in a financial collapse? I dunno. Greece ?….to me, it points to someones finger on a button somewhere. Trickle down. Not much actually has to happen these days in reality. Due to the rapid speed on the connection of people through the internet……a rumor can go around the world in an instant. No bomb need ever be released. Like the money. There is no money. It’s all paper notes, passed along like kids at school.

(One of the Americanos….thrift store)

I belong to one group about Jade Helm, the military games that are set to begin next week. I don’t like to go to that group cuz it’s scary. Lots of panic and fear. But I do like to be aware….so I go and I do my best to sift through it. Do the citizens of these states, these towns….do they have any rights? What kind of games will be played? There’s not a ton of free empty land in my town…..people own the land. Will they be intruding on everyone? What about the dogs that are there to protect the land? They won’t take too kindly to war games. I’m talking about Livestock guardian dogs. They take their jobs seriously. I’m not home…….Why am I not home. I let the peoples fears rush me along. If it were the end of the world….would I want to be with strangers? Or home…with my son, hubby, pets. My daughter is here, but not here. I am alone. The world could be crashing and I live here by myself. I’ve done a piss poor job of telling you about all the stuff I’ve been hearing. My memory suffers lack spots. I don’t know, I don’t know. I’m not exaggerating. People from all walks….from so many avenues I’m hearing these things. My belly hurts from it all. I mean, the world was SUPPOSED to end and there wasn’t this much chatter. It’s very obvious that the world is going down a technological and cold path….or it seems that is one option. Maybe I should keep my tears after all, so I at least, will remember emotion….in a world going gone. I know, I know….I’m always gloom and now I’m doom as well. I’m just catching the energy and spitting it out. I don’t know if I’m a messenger or chicken little. Either way, don’t say I didn’t give you some kernels to chew on.

(Haha! He insisted I take his photo then hollered out…where you from? I said Texas. Later, we locked eyes in another part of the city and he says….Texas!!!)

One more thing. This could backfire on me, but as I looked at the list of Presidential candidates, the only acceptable one for me…and I really know not much about him, is Bernie Sanders….so of course I would go with him over an overlord or a sheister. But here’s my question…..I am soooo paranoid. What if…..he’s a plant. Ye know? The only safe choice for many to vote on, who is secretly not safe??? I dunno. Just noticing how swiftly he is moving up in the headlines. Reminds me of that Manchurian thing. I could be completely wrong and I hope so…..don’t know who else to vote for. Look…..they’ve turned me into a cynical wrinkled waif. Will we let fear dictate our words, our deeds? Me? Maybe. I’m  old and wrinkled is usually my excuse, but on the other hand, sometimes I do roar like the lion I am. Sometimes I’m not the baby Nala cub, but the proud protective mama.

Another glitch and I still don’t have the aya for the spoon a day. Also, the ceremonies next week? Changed. This week. Tonight. Done Santo Diame style. Not an easy style for me, with my pain issues. Constant dancing and up and down from a chair to standing. Hours worth. So, while I was deciding and finally shouted to God that since He asked me to not plan things….then He needed to give me good clear guidance. It began to rain and hasn’t stopped yet. If it’s raining here, it’s definitely raining there. I know…rain in a rainforest, but the combination is not ideal for me. Aya and rain. Experienced it already, in the heat and very light rains….not so bad, pre rainy season… But really I have no joy at the thought of puking in the rain then laying down wet.  I know….a big baby. The main reason though is that she won’t be there. I don’t seem to want to do ceremony without her. Her…my daughter. So far that’s 2 ceremonies I was expecting we’d do together…..that didn’t happen. And I just paid for advance ceremonies that may never happen….cuz they needed money. This trip has lost its appeal. Its goodness. I am grateful that we at least had that short time together doing things. Very sad that it stopped. May her body be healed. Oh, and the acupuncture guy that I stayed here for? Hmmm. Maybe I’ve changed my mind. The connection I felt has slipped away. Dunno yet.

 Tonight, 30 minutes away, ceremony will be taking place. I won’t be there. No, I’m a wuss and I’ll be here crying and railing at the powers that be for creating such a coward and at myself for failing at creating my desires. I know how. I rarely think to do it. Like a ball being held under water, eventually it will pop up and be seen and oh ya! Create what I want…..visualize it with emotion. So, I will cry, while they delve into their humanness and I will cry to insure mine. Still raining. May they be blessed and dry. May I be blessed and content and may you be blessed and free. Also, may my word processor go back to normal. Thank you. Signing off from confused and scared and alone in paradise……..Ps…dude in other cabin assured me I can take a taxi a mile away and refill my butane….I can make all the cookies I want! 


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