To Iboga or not to Iboga….that is the question!

Until tonight, I didn’t firmly believe such things as energies/entities attaching themselves to people. I used to watch the tv show Charmed and that was a common thing to see, which never scared me cuz I didn’t believe it. I think I lost track of where I was goin with yesterday’s blog and I didn’t tell you that while I sat there in full view of the market and all the people in it…..Zahrah held her hand on the top of my head, crown chakra, and commanded anything in or on me…to leave in the name of Jesus. Well, a bit later I got a headache. I took those turmeric pills and the night continued on with the headache hovering vaguely. Later, I was inspired to command it once again. I felt a sensation in my left ear and then a whoosh. Even later still, I did it again and I was holding my hands up as I would to send reiki or any energy, and whoa……my receiving hand began to burn. It continued to burn and get a bit worse for about 2 minutes, then I lit some sage. Hope I didn’t stop it before it was ready by whippin out that sage. So wow, ya, to me….that’s proof this stuff is real. Just wow. Oh…..and I didn’t cry all night as I feared, due to that tiny exorcizzzm. Just the once, for a bit. I hope it’s working.

Something I forgot when I was telling you about the Iboga and the high cost. Remember, once upon a time, it had been my cure of choice for the HepC. Then I chickened out and chose ayahuasca instead….plus there’s the money factor. Well, my depression, I thought, was lifted after the aya, but I guess it wasn’t. So, as I look at the Iboga once again at request, I hear that all the people who take it who have HepC, walk away clean of it. Healed. Here I am only thinking of the depression aspect and I forgot that little ditty. Kinda important! Muy importante! Wow…..fix them both at once? A friend of ours just did Ibogaine last week. It’s the stripped down version of the plant. Legal I think. She did the clinic version….not at all recommended, but she seems happy with it in the end. That it was necessary for it to be wrong……which made it right. I read that the ibogaine was missing a huge chunk of spiritual medicine. The stuff I’m looking at is a mix of the plant and the ibogaine. But I’d have to raise the money first. AND….get up the courage. Summer met the man who I want to sit with. He says it can be a LIFE REVIEW. WOW. Death while still alive. Amazing. AND…it cures. AND……it cures addictions but I’m afraid I already beat it to that one. Ya… I was saying, on 7/7…it’ll be one year since I quit both cigarettes AND a 6 beer a night habit.  2. 2 addictions in one! :=))  Ok. It’s late. Night night 12:24am = 9 = endings. :=))

 I am the quintessential skeptical believer. There are so many possible explanations for my intense sadnesses that It’s getting confusing. Is it an entity? Inside? Outside? Is it a bad entity just wreaking havoc for fun? Or could it be one of the beings I called in to protect me when I was doing the aya? Could it be my Grammy or PapPap, trying to help me, but not? Could it be an aspect of the star/planet alignment? Could it be an ascension symptom? Or, as the shaman say, could it be the healer in me trying to integrate and outegrate. Lol….is that a word? Is now. One of you sent me the link to the shaman article…..I had forgotten about that. I learn so much that it’s hard to contain it all. Zahrah sent me word that she has a friend who specializes in deep soul trauma healing. So….how is one to know which one it is? If it’s healer energy, I want to keep it……if it’s ascension energy, I NEED to keep it. If it’s meany weeny crap, then I need rid of it. What to do? I just realized that the July SOL aya thing is next weekend. I’m pretty sure that Summer won’t be ready once again. Uggh. Then, I heard that the Tita is coming back soon(the Columbian shaman). Or, I may be given some to do as a protocol, but Summer and Zahrah worry about entities, and keeping a sacred clean container, as they say. See, this is one reason they say not to do aya alone. You DO go to other realms and things CAN attach. My very first aya ceremony was the CURA ceremony. Done to free any trapped souls and entities and send them to the light. Could be from there, who knows. Vismay is not a shaman,(that I know of) yet I feel he may be able to see entities. I guess we’ll find out. I’m watching a doc about ascension and she is saying that we are floating back and forth between dimensions. I was right about that then. See, I believe, yet I don’t. Skeptic, yet I believe. Pure contradiction, that is me. How does one believe and not believe in the same moment? The same seed? Welcome to my world.

 So……I don’t know the next steps. What I do know, is that I haven’t cried since that one release upon return to home yesterday. Perhaps those commands worked! So, if it was healer energy and I commanded it to go…..I’ve already explained and requested it return if that is the case. I’m gonna have a friend do a reading(the documentary just says her name as I type this)this weekend, so I’ll have a better clue what’s going on. So I’ll know which healing avenue to go down at this point. Man oh man, the difference a day makes. Yesterday the tears took control and today I’m giggling at this silly thingy on FB…..find the nearest book, page 45 and first line explains your love life. Well, I don’t have a love life, and it’s silly so I normally wouldn’t do it, but silly seems to be ok today so I did. The only book I brought with me was Illusions: Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah. Page 45: The afternoon was quiet…the occasional passenger now and then. HAAAA!!! I wish I had tv here, not just Netflix. Tv is like…order. Structure. Ya, sorry, but I started early, with Kimba the white lion, The Big Valley and Daktari!!!! You guys are seeing my words from a step back. If you ever get a feeling, a gut feeling that you think you have an insight for me….please share!!! I try to go down the center of the River of Life, but it feels like someone pulled the drain….and I’m in the whirlpool as it drains. The ascension doc I just watched, says that’s all our beliefs leaving us… they need to. We need to be without beliefs. OPEN. Open vessels, not fulllllll to the brim with beliefs we’ve collected.  Why the heck don’t they teach this stuff in kindergarten???????????

(Do you see above…on some of these, the flower….becomes the leaf as well! Wow!!!!) 

I had an aha moment today due to that gal sharing the Shaman in a Mental Hospital article. It was saying that we each have our own universe, sorta like the Rainbow Family’s….Movie. we are all in our own movie.  I’ve said this a gazillion times….but to hear it said as matter of fact….wow. Anyway…….it was a very big aha…….problem with aha’s sometimes, is we forget we had em and they never get implemented therefore never ingrained. AND…..before I go…..let me say this. Tomorrow is the 4th of July. THE…..big day for the Rainbow Family Gathering. I don’t know what the hell went wrong this year, and who the hell thought they could just waltz into the Natives sacred land and hold a gathering…..especially with the new attitude of leavin so much trash behind…………………..what were you thinking????? Ugggh…..I’d like to go and smack some people upside the head. The Natives are restless and are trying to get an injunction. A LITTLE DAMN LATE FOLKS. Stupid. Just stupid to go after them now, at the friggin end. And stupid and ignorant of them to go against consensus and against the Elders. I apologize for any harm they may do…..and I hope that somehow the tensions are eased between the natives and the whites somehow….so much pain in the hearts. Ok. So…..While I’m not sad today…..I’m not much of anything else really. Kinda numbish. Just here. So……signing off from….just here, in Quebradas Costa Rica….ten minutes from San Isidro, 30 from Dominical and 30 from Ayahuasca at Sound of Light. Here’s my PayPal in case anyone wants to get the Iboga ball rolling.   Ps….yesterday I gave a few coins to a beggar. I was then told he would go buy glue with it. Today I saw a homeless 20something sleeping on the walkway in town. The concrete. The path all the people walk. We all walk past. It feels awful. Life.Oh and PS…..did any of you actually read what Donald Trump actually said? LOL….what has happened to the United States…..home of the free. Jeeeeeeeze. bye bye free speech. bye bye pursuit of happiness. Nobody wants you anymore. Someone’s feelings might get hurt. So sad…maybe thats why I cry and don’t realeyes. PSS….I was told to make basil water and spray it around….for the entity…..didn’t have the means, so…..I bought 3 bunches of basil($1) and have the stems laying all over the cabina. :=))

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