one more day…of goats

A first wave blue ray indigo child. Hmmm. I read a description of them today and it fit me to a T. I used to adore that sentence. That meaning. I’ve found myself!!! I’d found an explanation for why I am the way I am. That implies a flaw doesn’t it? The first real time I found it was with the term….Borderline Personality Disorder. Recently though, ADHD fit really well also. There’ve been a gazillion in between I’m sure, tiny ones…and now I’m a blue ray. The reason it bothers me today is that how many damn things can one person be? Shouldn’t a person only get to say that once in a lifetime? Haha…not me. I’m different. Oh…..yup, a prime character flaw or shine of being a blue ray-er. Blue Ray. Hmmm. That’s Archangel Michaels ray. I got a lil confused cuz there’s indigo rays too. But I think I’m a blue. Many hats am I. And at the moment, I’m in return mode, therefore my brain is busy and will most likely not go into depression. It’s like a switch gets flipped. Truly. Lights on…..nobody’s home. Too busy crying. Not crying now though. Too busy thinking what to take. Got myself another After Bite for mosquito bites. Makes the skeeters here practically non existent. Ha. Ok. Well, night night folks. 11:28am = 3 = Holy.

I see some of you are thinking I’m moving too fast. Too many big changes too fast. Yes. This is very true. I am indeed making drastic changes. It all began last year with the words…you are dying. That’s when I began the organic food. And a few months later, I quit drinking!!! And I quit smoking!!!! All of those are huge changes! No longer the nighttime lush Primetime Miss Sheri. No longer sucking hot flamey smoke into my lungs all day long. No longer putting chemicals into my body….actually that one holds for all 3! Telling my husband I want to live in Costa Rica at least half of each year…that’s a big change too. When I sold 30 of my goats….that was a humungous change that nobody blinked at. Actually, truth be told…..had this happened at any other time in my life….I would question it. But it didn’t. It happened now. Now, while I’m thinking that I still haven’t done whatever it was I was supposed to do here on earth! I’ve been told I’m dying and I feel I haven’t completed my purpose….well hells bells folks…..doesn’t that suggest changes of monstrous proportions??? I am literally living on faith now. No clue whats coming next. Selling the goats….as hard as that is…frees me up to do ANYTHING. ANYTHING!!! If God says jump……now I can say….how HIGH and how long you want me off the ground?

To be completely honest with you, sure, I’m not 100% in on this Costa Rica thing. As you all know, me and the food there do nOt get along. Then there’s the matter of the people. The seeing like minded people everywhere I go. I still don’t know why that’s such a draw for me. Why am I willing to give up my entire life as I know it….for people I can run into that think like me? Not that any of them are my good friends. None are. None have chosen to be. Wait…there is one sweet thing who has chosen to befriend me in a bigger way than most. That would be my mystery lady whose name is changed to protect the innocent. Love ya honey!!! So….because there is no evident extreme reason why I love it so…aside from being conveniently located 30-45 minutes from most diverse attractions……..but I still don’t know, therefore…..that means it’s God/Spirit who is running this adventure. And ye know what? I got lucky….it happens that HE……is one of the few beings I trust!!! So….I got my invisible shield on and ready to go!!! And it seems that God is once again my copilot on an adventure that He himself has chosen for me and it’s all a mystery….one surprise after another. YeeHaw!!! See? Even without goats…my life will still be YeeHaw! My daughter messaged me and wanted to talk about my selling paintings at Envision. She said it would be too expensive to get a booth there. It was as if someone had sprayed a bad perfume. It smelled up all the words. Good words, bad words, it didn’t matter, they were all smellin bad. I suggested someone read the blog again but without SKIMMING down the page. Seriously…if ya go and pick and choose a word here and a word there to read… are gonna miss a bunch and wind up with the wrong picture at the end.

       Also….I am now in 2 aya groups on FB and on a daily basis, someone posts something scary. Even though I’ve done this medicine 7 times….it’s still very scary to me. I still respect it with every ounce of me…every cell. And still…most likely….the moment I drink some….I will probably be thinking…..ok, I’m not gonna do this again. But I will. I know this is risky and I know it’s worth the risk. My swan song. Whatever God put me here for…unless it was simply to be a Blue….or to have my daughter who may have a role upcoming on Earth…….(my son is content with earthly pleasures) Daily, I think…oh crap….this is scary stuff. Also daily, I think……please, let it work some more. If you are meant to take aya……you will have the opportunity to take aya. Not only am I supposed to take it….I’m supposed to talk about it….and go to Costa Rica repeatedly for it…..but now….it is also right here. I mean right here!!! All I know is the word Peru was mentioned and the fact that my friends…one a healer, trust the people…..I would trust the people. A part of me hopes they wait till I return, so I can attend and be of assistance if needed. So ya. Aya in my own backyard so to speak. So now you see….God is steering all this and He knew this and I’m still headed out of the country. Did you know you can just backpack from country to country? Start in Panama and go backwards all the way to Texas or go the other way and just travel and travel and…..Sure wish I knew what my purpose was. Certainly isn’t as an artist. Nearly every painting ever made is in this room. Less than 10 are not.

My son has been gone since the goats were sold. I’m here alone. My neighbor Cathy who used to help me with them….has basically moved on. The goats that are here, most of them need a shear. Some of them have missed a shear and now really really need a shear. I wanted to get the fleeces. Junk to most, sure….they’re long but they’re felted. So it doesn’t look like anyone will be helping me with that, oh well… but someone dang well needs to show up tomorrow to help me get them penned and ready. Some of them are loaded with sticker burrs…of course. Tomorrow is the last day. I console myself that should I later decide I want a goat or two…I can always get some. Haha! I’m watching Beverly Hills Chihuahua and right as I typed that, the ritzy dog Chloe pulled her booty off…..the last remaining part of her old life …..and symbolically and literally….threw it off the train. Ok… See ya. Signing off from here. Paige Texas.


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