the end of the world…….AS I KNOW IT…..new world comin up

I just sold all my goats. My goats. Hmmm. Won’t be able to say that any more. It hit me fast with a twang and a huge heave in the gut….then God spoke to me. He reminded me I needed a new life now. Following God isn’t always easy. Or maybe it’s never easy. At least they will be together, once again. In that, I am blessed. God is helping me deal with this. I never dreamed of selling my goats. Of not having my goats. Of not breeding them last fall….of not breeding them this fall…of no more babies jumping, hopping on my back, falling asleep in my lap. Loving me…loving them. How did my life change so drastically? Where am I going? I guess we shall all see. Are you guys gonna come along for the journey when the goats are gone? What does God have in store for me now? Apparently Costa Rica mid June. God seems to maybe be steering me in a different direction entirely. We shall see. Or a direction first thought of long ago and I didn’t realize how deep a seed had been sown. It’s like life has been screeching at me the last two days. Same words over and over. Uggggh. Won’t leave me alone and I don’t even know it’s something I want! And no, I won’t give them strength by saying them. But maybe it’s time for me to do the planet dues. Do what I was put here for. Maybe I will figure that out soon. Haha. Gooey gooey gumdrop, eh? Night. 12:18am = 3 = HOLY.

All the way to Austin…an hour and a half drive….and it’s an AT&T thing, not an Apple thing….after AT&T sent me back to Apple. I’m not too mad though. It gave me a chance to go back into a few stores. JoAnns for instance. Looked a lot more closely this time. Got prices, felt things, got names of fabrics….but no fabrics. Found a really cool store. Sam Moon Trading. WOW! I had so much fun in there. Went in 3 times. In fact, I drove all the way back from 35 and Parmer….to get an ayahuasca dress. Did I tell you that part of my adventure? I didn’t have much in the way of white clothing and the skirt I did have was pale tan and it was very stained. That, a borrowed shirt and a white sweater. Now….add to that, we didn’t know we would do the Vision Quest…..so, after doing the 2 initial ceremonies, I then had to wear that same outfit for 7 more days. And it started out stained. It was awful. It felt like I was sitting with God in stained ugly clothes. From the moment I left there, I’ve been on the hunt for cheap but beautiful…..the perfect outfit for me. I think I’ve nearly got 2 put together. One is 2 used skirts I’ve had awhile, with 2 new cheapo tops that I shall wear together and the other, is a dress that I drove back for. It was haunting me. It wasn’t cheap. Well, it’s relative. One and only one time in my life I bought a $400 dress. How stupid was that? This was $30. It felt like a fortune so I left it behind till I’m standing in the smoothie store telling the cashier…..”you know that moment when you didn’t buy the dress………you shoulda bought the dress”…….lol. She laughed and I went back and tried it on. I Loved it. Decided $30 wasn’t too much to pay for a God outfit. So now all I lack is some kind of awesome warm white thing. Like a poncho or shawl. Once again…my outfit was noticed. The dude at Plato’s Closet said I looked like I might wanna try their new store…..same…..but higher end used clothes. Cool I suppose, but in the end…Plato’s Closet has missed the mark. Love the store but the point should be to make cool clothes accessible to the lesser financially enabled folks. They got too greedy. The prices are too high. So very sad. Speaking of sad….have you seen the cartoon on Facebook of the Rhinoceros with the chain saw and the man with no nose and blood dripping??? I love that. It’s not sad…lol, but what’s happening to the rhino’s, elephants, tigers, shit…you name it…..the animals of this planet are being decimated and we just sit here. We are so many….that we think we are few. It’s an illusion we can’t see past, so we allow. We allow hell on earth.

I’m grieving now. Who knows how long this will last. I know a lady who’s still grieving after around 10 years! I have to keep reminding myself that God has something else lined up for me now, and I have to bear this. I bust out in spontaneous loud bellowing from time to time throughout the day now. Hmmmm…..goats in one hand, costa rica in the other….hmmmmmm. I wanted to do both. I was assured it was not doable. Unless we were rich of course. So….I’ve arranged the next best thing. Someone who has seen photos of the goats for years now….and is already in love. And….she’s sorta local. So…..although I shall grieve…who wouldn’t……..I step into a brand new world. And I feel that in that new world…I gotta learn to sew. Haha. I failed home ec. I will prevail!!! And… learn Spanish. Anyone got Rosetta Stone they wanna loan me? Ok…well….I gotta get back to thinkin….what to take? What to leave? What will sell? And my new thought….I want a cigarette. Hubby smokes and it didn’t used to bother me….. Signing off from this place in Texas.

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10 thoughts on “the end of the world…….AS I KNOW IT…..new world comin up

  1. Thanks for sharing, cool that you are following your divine direction … where will it lead? Somewhere good I’m sure… thanks for being our pal on the path. Folowing the Way : )

  2. Have you thought of acquiring goats there in Costa Rica? Maybe there are still goats in your future. Something to contemplate. Whatever you do, we will still be following your journey! Best wishes for you.

    • Thankyou sweet lady!!! I’m glad. Ummm, I doubt it. It’s not goats that I love. It’s angora goats that I love. I believe there are only milk and meat goats there. I would have been importing the only ones. ❤️

  3. Oh Sheri, I am ashamed of myself for having let our contact go to where I had NO idea what you were doing! I must say, I felt such a light sensation around my chest and heart when I read about the letting go of the goats! Hard won freedom – but free to move and NOW – free to BREATHE (YEAH Sheri!) and Now you have set your spirit free with the Herb, I hear she is a true lifeline to those with depression, and possibly a cure. I wonder… it is what you see and find that does it, or just the chemical after effects. I used to grow Calea Z ~ the lucid dream plant. Since I always lucid dream, it was more purchased to ensure that I could obtain it if more of our choices were removed.
    Anyway,,,once again I find myself scared considering change and I “meet” you. HELLO – I say to the “new” Sheri =) Perhaps you can inspire me to let go (I can’t say the words just yet. Not unless I am tired, weak or hurting – then I scream them!)

    • You’re very strong. I see it everyday. You can do it! Whatever it is. Even if it’s the other D word. We all have to. Life gives us our plate and we eat it. The aya helped for a month. I’m about to drink more. It’s a long story. Here though, available for you if you choose. ;))) Right now the depression feels to have squashed out any aya benefit I received. It’s a struggle. But I’m determined to find out if there’s help for depression with some of these plants. Also looking at iboga which is 100 times stronger

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