Today I closed out a dream. When I unlocked the door…it was empty….nope…it was all on the left…along the wall….in boxes. And the art that wasn’t in frames? Folded up in brown paper sacks. Some of them 800 dollars or more….folded up. Special. Beyond that, I woke with the thought of how to plan now…how to decide…oh gosh, it’s all so dang complicated. Like….it’s not like I have a true home there. I don’t have a place to store my things, so which things shall I take? I can only carry so much. Hubby says I can ship boxes. So many logistics. Hubby took me to the local thrift store(used stuff) and I got 2 skirts, $3 each. Thought I had more clothes here. Cheaper than Costa Rica. I like that price. Anyway…..I digress. It was sad. Depressingly sad. I had finally moved into the larger room and the gallery felt like a real place. I then had to load it all into the blazer, then unload it to….where? My room, like there is any…room. Monk screeched when he saw me…in that India style…..Sheeeeeeeeerrriiiiiiiiiiiii. So….that part of my life is now over. I am no longer a gallery owner. Lots of changes.
I left my 3rd lifetime feather pillow at Awakening Soul. My childhood one was switched with my 1st husbands childhood feather pillow. It was quite odd, we both just one night realized we liked the others better…so we swapped. Well….that was my 2nd pillow then…my husbands. My 3rd husband bought me a new one….which is the one I left behind. The husband pillow had been abandoned a few years back and was in the living room on the floor collecting dust and as a cat pillow or stepping stone. I can now officially tell you, that if you have a dirty feather pillow…..just throw it in the wash with other clothes and in the dryer a whole messa times. Just keep running that dryer till it’s good and dry and you got your feather pillow back baby!!! Who knew??? Oh…..and while I’m thinkin on it….the teeth……..the reason it’s not good that he changed the bite….(the way the teeth felt against each other, the top ones against the bottom ones)is cuz the entire top teeth are fake. Acrylic. My bottom teeth are made of teeth ingredients, not acrylic….therefore, the acrylic wears down the real teeth when they grind, and boy,…..I trained myself to not grind them and now this. Guess I’ll look at it as a challenge, eh? Night night. Me and my pillow. 11:07pm = 9 = endings.
Talking with my husband is similar to pulling sticker burrs out of fleece. Ouch! And it takes forever cuz you have to be so careful. A chat was had today….not sure the outcome…as usual….but I did express some suggestions. About money. It’s always about money. I suggested some things to sell….including the 55 chevy. It has been renovated with comfort and ease in mind. Top of the line man……only thing anyone would need to change is the paintjob…..which is exquisite……but has custom paintings of goats. Angora goats. The average buyer wouldn’t want goats. I finally spoke the idea aloud….so he will get used to it. The shock is over. I said the s word. Sell. Sell the beauty I’ve not even driven…that I’ve waited 4 years to be renovated. Yup. As I explained to hubby…it’s a farm truck. For me…the farm is gone. Done. So is the need for the truck. Besides…the length of time it’s taken to renovate it has turned me off of it. It was a great gift. I enjoyed the hype….the hope. I’ll also enjoy Costa Rica. I also want to find a way to help people. Even if it’s something tiny and simple…I want to give back. I have many tiny skills….I’d love to help if I can. I need to figure out a way or multiple ways.
Slowly by slowly, minute by inch…..I’m beginning to figure out the who’s what’s why’s…but especially the How’s…of this trip. In the past, I have not been a good marketer…of myself, my gifts. I need to change that and I begin……by asking for help. Some might see that as a weakness, I however, see it as awesome strength. I say awesome cuz I’ve already witnessed the kindness of strangers…and friends. For any who need it…..(firstname.lastname@example.org) …….this is also my Paypal address should anyone want to contribute to……..hmmm, to living the dream….and not dying….to returning to Costa Rica….to learning how to beat depression……………… AIR so fresh I don’t need my inhaler and just plain….to support the lady who is telling the story! YeeHaw! Or, if you can help me market my art…holler!!!
I’m watching Naked and Afraid…how dumb is that? Haha….not before going back to the jungle, silly girl!!!! Folks…I am determined. My situation is funny and I laugh as I carry on. You don’t realize what I’m up against. The local artisan is not so bad…will require a $80 taxi ride each week, so I’d have make over that…holy shit. Oh God. Ok…and the Envision, well, I’d be setting up on vendor row in the next town. On foot, carrying my goods and my display hardware. Top it off….it’s expensive items. I could be a target. The other vendor row items are maybe $100 max. It’s when I look at it square in the eye that I see it’s nearly impossible. Why am I even trying? Cuz. Haha…I sound like a little kid! Seriously though, I don’t know what y’all are thinkin….she’s crazy! ??? I gotta get the paintings there…..then, whatever doesn’t sell, I gotta get it back home. I gotta display it somehow. Frame at least some….to show what it can look like….but leave them unframed for travel. Can I really live two places? Can I really follow my heart? Can I do this? In a taxi and bus world? Love love. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch