Funny. I’m about to go into silence and solitaryness for 3 days…..yet I’m feeling a wee bit antisocial. It’s nearly 11am and I’m still in my room. My room is a shared room. 6 beds. I’m thinking about the solitary space. Will we sit on the earth which means leaves, twigs, stones…or will we have a mattress and blankets and pillows? The vision quest gods must look down upon us gringos thinking…and laughing…”get down with your bad selfs!!!!” Or “oh look…it’s the princes and the peas!!!” Speaking of Princess and the Peace, I told Grandmother last night after ceremony that I recognized she was too young to be called grandmother so I gave her a new name. Yes of course I did. Since she’s the queen of vines….Vivinia. Hmmm, but Vivivia is funner to say. Oh, and I keep saying in the woods. 3 days in the woods. Wrong. That’s 3 days in the rainforest jungle!!! Literally IN it.
Could you do it? Could you sit in a 6×4 space for 3 days and nights without speaking, while being in the dark with the bugs you can’t see cuz it’s dark like the red ants? And the sounds? The myriad and multitudes of tropical bird and bug and monkey roar sounds???? Oh wait!!!!!! Add in one of the most psychotropic drugs on the planet!!!!! All you want, the bar is open! 4 different brews. One brewed in Peru and one in Brazil to boot…and 2 brewed here last week. I hear one is very strong. A young oriental looking young man was here for Saturday nights ceremony and he wanted to leave. Too much. Too hard. They said, look at her, she’s gonna do the vision quest too!!! He looked shocked and bowed his head to me. Reminds me of the sweat on Sept 11……when the man couldn’t hack the sweat and asked to be let out in the middle of Round 2!!!! I went all 5!!!!! Another gal here tells me I’m her inspiration. When she feels weak she looks at me and knows it’s nothing but a thing. Yay!!!!
The pain however….is more than a thing. The weather pain. Seems to be strong here in Costa Rica and it kept me pinned down at the temple all day yesterday alone…so I didn’t have to go up then back down but in the end the sweat lodge didn’t happen…so I shuffled on up. Oh ya. The 3rd ceremony. Well, one purge and some visions but not what I expected. Very strange things float by. Like teeth for me. Smiling teeth. I have an entire upper teeth thingy screwed in with titanium screws. Hummingbirds too, liquidy….without form. Some were holding me, like their bodies were my bed. Like we were one, melding between ourselves. Hmmmm. Guess I did get an insight after all cuz I’ve truly always had a hard time with the We are all One thingy. I get it now. See, yay for blogging! Haha, for me, otherwise known as…journaling. I just let the whole world peep at my journal.
Haha!!! Look who’s here in my Selfie!!
I’m beginning to understand the medicine now. Not so scary but it’s still very hard. It takes about 3 hours to really kick in then wham! And that’s about the time you’re getting the 2nd cup. 2nd cup, 2nd cup….oh hurry up puke, it’s time for 2nd cup!!! Nope. 10 min after drinking…. Here comes the black grunge. The toxins pulled out of your body by Vivivia! Lol, Ayahuasca!!!! Black or red. So….I had to take a 3rd cup. But tonight and for 3-4 days and nights…constant ayahuasca. Many many drinks. Don’t worry. If I have a problem, I’ll stop. But as far as the question…could you do it? Well, I don’t know. I’m certainly gonna give it my best go.
Have I told you about my bed buddies? Very large spiders living above our heads. They each have many meals lined up. Everytime I tried to take a photo, I spun so bad I had to consciously fall to land on the mattress. It seems I’m a bit weak, lol. Now I’m rethinking the whole thing. Now, after I’ve finally received enough money from caring friends. Well, close. I received $258 and the price we talked him into is $444. So I have enough. But should I? I’m weighing it. After all, I just told you if there was a problem I’d stop. Dunno. Headache creepin. We shall see. Summer has filled me with pipa water(coconut) and a bit also with added spirulina. Had a few bites of food…..oh for some food I like!!!!!!! One day!!!!!! Different spices, different vegetables. I did enjoy a bit of chicken at the seashore though!!!! And ice!!!! Ice in my drink!!!! And the best chocolate ice cream ever at the nearby soda. (Tiny food stand). Oh, and the chocolate and banana smoothies!!!! I thought of Elvis, yum. I eat things I like once in great whiles here and believe me, I relish it!!!! My daughter is a hard taskmaster because she wants her mama around. Our tension…food.
Well folks, as of right now, I plan to go ahead. The sweat was changed to tonight and the vision quest begins in the morning. Better I guess so we can get accustomed to the spaces….being in them. Hope I don’t chicken out. Lizard just told me to go ahead and in case it was a salamander, it said comfort in the dark,….so equally fitting. I won’t be right next to Summer…by its very name, vision quest suggests solitaryness. Yikes. Yum! I got to eat the heels off a mango! Sugar fix! I guess I’m a bit apprehensive about this one. So intensive!!! Anyway…headed down soon. Guess I should sign off at Florestral….. Www.solcircle.org. Prayers welcome if Ya feel called!!! Loving you…loving me.