I was hoping for this yet I also feared it. I don’t want to leave. Already! After only a day and a half, I feel wanted, needed, appreciated, seen, heard, loved and worthy. The words… I See You …were even said to me last night. Much has changed in me already. My fear of driving or being driven on mountain round and round roads with huge drop offs, has been lifted at least for this now. These are some of the scariest roads I’ve ever been on…yet I wasn’t scared! Excited and leery but not scared. I knew my companion God wouldn’t drop me.
Then today I had an insight so big I’m giggly. I realized which moment in time caused me to want to leave the planet. It was when I healed a child but was ridiculed by those who weren’t there and didn’t see. I was shamed to the point of squishing it down and praying it away. I have always remembered this event….but now I see that to the little child…it was a rejection of her and her purpose of coming to earth. So, she wanted to leave. The end. Wow!!!! And I didn’t even have to go subconscious to do it!!
And since it’s not always about me, lol, lemme try to describe my new little intentional community. So far, I don’t know where the “trash trash” is. Just the compost bucket. Most of the buildings are at least partially if not mostly…made of some kind of cement of sorts. Not just the buildings though. Plant structures, roof structures, kitchen sink structures. The beauty and simplicity of this way of life is peaceful.
Everything is beautiful. Even the paths and steps created were done so with beauty in mind as well as functionality. It will take some getting used to with the foods though. Last nights meal I ate as much as I could tolerate then this morning I liked the fried plantain. Lunch was beans and rice which I love along with….yucca flower!!! Barb, if you still read my blog I surely thought of you!!! So far only water to drink….my choice, I could have tea. Trying to ascertain how to go about my getting more of my inhaler. It can only be refilled every 2 weeks and that’s how long it lasts. If I just order it out of time….it costs $200!!! You see my concern???
All of the clothes and blankets, ….needed!!!! Not so dumb after all! How to dress for Costa Rica…LAYERS!!! Cold nights, cold mornings, hot afternoons so you peel em off, then put em back on!!! No paper towels here, only stuff that can be washed and reused. Skills are put to use and appreciated. Hummingbirds are everywhere!!! All sizes, colors and even sounds!!! No monkeys at this location though cuz this area was heavily forested once and is just now coming back thanks to caring people. Some spider and some capuchin have been seen coming back to these woods. No big cats here either but if we go to the one place for aya, we could see them possibly.
We may go there but we also may do more traditional aya from a Peruvian shaman who sings icaros….healing songs. Figuring out why I wanted to die the majority of my life is pretty huge but I don’t feel that much stronger for the knowing. It’ll take awhile to integrate and I’d still like to meet with Grandmother Aya. I can relate to grandmother way more than mother so I shall call her Grandmother Aya now. They say she will give me what I NEED….if I need hard, I get hard and if I need gentle I’ll get gentle. Getting excited.
There’s a mango sitting on the nightstand next to me spilling off its sweet perfume and the twinkle sounds of hummers are at my window! The calls of unseen birds are heard. There is a gentle breeze and the blanket separating my room from Summers is blowing gently while she sleeps and I talk to you. Most of the guests or interns are at the river which is a 10-15 minute hike DOWN. Tomorrow is Saturday, Free Day…where there are no food bells and no expectations at all, as well as silent day for those who choose. The Internet hotspot is just up the hill and there’s one plug in the kitchen. Where, the ONLY 2 lightbulbs are!!! Candles. I need more candles!!! Nothing can be shipped here from the internet. It must be packaged and sent by friends. When I leave…IF I leave…I’ll leave my blanket and good towel behind as a gift along with whatever arts I leave my heart with.
Ok. Enough for now. I’ll go take photos. I’ve never felt so needed and wanted in my whole life. They really do see me here and gratefully I say thank you to God and Summer and those few who helped me get here….for that.
Today is Sunday. Still no internet for my type phone. I made myself useful today. Seeds. I sorted seeds. Gathering like kinds and putting them in jars. Need more jars. As far as healing goes, well….not sure yet. Am allergic to bees yet I don’t freak when they land on me. Bit once by mosquito maybe and chewed up plantain leaves to remove the itch!!! Our cabinas weren’t ready when we arrived so we’re in the main house building for now. The cabinas are built on the side of the mountain as is everything!!! Think I’m looking forward to it…not sure. Haha, they look awesome as well as sketchy!!! I asked will they slide down the mountain during rainy season? Also, what about the steps? Would we be stuck in our individual cabinas the entire rainy season??? That’s of course, IF one chose to stay. :=}. Why would one leave? It’s an intentional
community with only 2 permanent residents!!!! My husband, son and only 15 goats are the ONLY things back home. Dunno.
A returning dude, will open a hotspot for me to post this. Wanting to get word to hubby to upgrade me to international!!! Jesse, tell him please!!! Not gonna apologize for the length of the blog. I can only do it when I can do it. Miss talking to y’all, and miss Jesse, Blue, my goaties and hubby’s quiet presence. But Dios mios!!!! Costa Rica es muy perfecto!!! Y yo estoy en cour!!!! Lol (I am in love) For now……And…..signing off at Awakening Soul, Costa Rica!!! YeeHaw!!! PS….haha!!! Scratch most of the above!!!! Stay tuned for the continuing saga of…..As the New Earth Forms!!!!