mercy…..

We have made it home by the grace of God and helper people praying us all the way home. So grateful and happy to be here. So grateful for Candace taking these precious goats off my plate. It looks really funny out there now. Empty, it looks empty. I wanted to check Crystals leg this morning so I took peanuts and went to the L. How strange. Just a couple goats. They could come to have me feed them by hand and it wasn’t an issue. Well, little Peaches wanted to jump up but only her and she’s overly friendly now due to her illness. :=)))) I saw her limping so called and made an appointment for her, then we checked before we left and she was standing on it. I felt it and didn’t find a break and she was putting pressure on it, standing, so we decided it wasn’t broken. Ran to town for groceries before the bad weather arrives. Not sure how bad it’ll be here but think we get somethin, Damn propane tank is at 5%!!!!! Crapola. He’s coming! So, we put Crystal in a pen, then put Thor in with her so she’s not alone. He wasn’t too happy.

I’m doing remarkably well considering. God is sooo good. Even though He knew for sure I’d throw a walleyed fit, He still did what He did, which was to distract me from the loss. He distracted me greatly….with the breakdown and the Moonbaby is he dead, is he alive ordeal. While we sat in that parking lot for hour upon hour, I repeatedly said…………..just drive us home. Just stop every 45 miles to check the status of the tranny oil and carry tons of oil with us and we can get home. BUT NOOOOO. In the end, that’s what we did EXACTLY!!!! Self righteous pissedoffedness!!! Ya think??? Jesse wanted to argue with me that there was indeed a difference between doing what I wanted….and what we did….difference was….we now KNOW he said, that it will probably be ok, cuz the guy had it on the machine. WELL folks……..it cost over $550 to KNOW. $350 to NOT fix the Rv, and $200 for hotel 2 nights. Ha….then we start driving and smell burning rubber smell. Call mechanic. Hmm….could be this or could be that or…..could be safe to drive home. So…in the end…after that $550…did we really know? Hell NO! I knew…cuz of the prayers. All my friends, plus I posted in Tootsie healing circle. There were well over a hundred people praying us home. Yay people!!!

Haha…my reaction this weekend is what makes me wonder what the heck I’m gonna do in Costa Rica! Nearly the whole trip to DC to see AMMA, I wanted to leave, to go home. Only gone a few days this time and I freaked…..and I’m gonna go to a different COUNTRY???? FOR a MONTH|???? Maybe more? Hahahaaaaaa! Who knows…..I may really like it. It’s approaching quickly! Goodness! I don’t even have suitcases! I don’t know if massages are included in the price, I doubt it, but I’m sure hoping somehow for that. Right now…..I even have my muscle disease pain. It’s the cold storm thingy and the temps are dropping and the barometric pressure is either rising quickly or too slowly…….or…….its dropping quickly or too slowly. Either of those = pain. Horrible pain not like any other pain ever. Been alive 53 years and it’s just different….just Godly different. So deep. So intense. I want to scrape it off me. These days it happens less, so I try not to complain at all. I mention occasionally but I don’t complain. It could and has been……beyond bearable…..so anything less than that is great! Haha…so basically, by my own rules…..I have to be happy about this pain just about every time it visits. Maybe I should name the pain. Hmmm. SQUINCHY. I shall call her Squinchy! Ya, it’s a girl. If it was a guy I wouldn’t have been so shocked when my husband kicked my ass. Anyway…..she now is named, so I can love her. I love you Squinch!!!

I have a feeling one of the biggest culture shocks of my trip….will be the loss of sugar. I like my sugar. Always have. My mom used to tell me I’d get diabetes cuz I used too much in my tea and on my cereals. I use 3 level tsp in my black tea, and 1 in my chamomile. Speaking of chamomile, I slept last night!!! Yayayayayyaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Sleep is good. Ya, it’s cookie time. Time to go turn the oven on. Still waiting on the propane guy. The puppy, Dolly, was a really good girl on the trip. She still won’t pee on command though, like my Blue dog. Wait….like Blue dog…remember, I need to stop labeling things as mine. It feels like it separates me from others, so I feel the need to stop it….although, I am still not really comfortable separating myself from my ganja medicine. I look at it as medicine, always have. It’s an herb, from the earth. Speaking of herb from the earth…..been reading some fascinating posts in the aya group. I’m beginning to connect the aya experience with the Egyptian death scenario…..or should I say AFTER death….and………with the Emerald Tablets of Thoth and the Halls of Amenti. Lordie. Lordie lordie. I must be hella brave. We shall see. I really wanted to do peyote first but I didn’t have an IN with the Native Americans. Peyote is gentler. I’ll be fine. I’ve gone places in my 3 bad acid trips so I know about mind games. I honor this feminine herb with my courage to taste her. Ha….I pray I have it at time to drink!!! Ok….later gater. Signing off gratefully and with heat for the night and month cuz I just paid the man…..from YeeHaw Ranch…yay!!! Goodbye my babies. Mama loves you. Are you having fun in the snow??? Love love.

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