putting ducks in rows…

Spirit uses what is at hand….in order to speak, or let be known things it wants known. I’ve known this forever about the tv. Most people of the…save the planet ilk, are against tv, my daughter included. They call it Programming, and I understand and even agree….but I feel somewhat above it, more discerning perhaps. My point is….I actually got a moment of aha from a nowadays Hallmark movie. Ya, I bitched about em this Christmas(or perhaps I never posted it) but sometimes there are decent movies or decent parts of movies. Anyway….they were talking about her fears and he said she didn’t trust herself that she’d be able to handle what ever might happen! See, that made me stop and think a minute. I’ve often thought my fear was not of failure…..but of success instead. Ok…that’s that kind of fear…What about the other? The highways. Hold on. Let me ponder..…..Ok. I’m scared that I might not be able to handle the plot that is chosen for me.

Ha, as if I get a choice sometimes, eh? Like….if that snake appears that I think might because it is unusually high grass, and it bites me and then what? What if say, it bites me and I die instantly. I might not be ready yet. I might really really wanna go to costa rica first. See? Ok. Wow. That was so cool. Patient, heal thyself! Haha…and the movie just did it again! Dude says….I’m gonna help you get over your fear of swimming. She says….I don’t have a fear of swimming, I have a fear of drowning. That is ME….or it WAS me. I choose to cease that outdated thought. That programming chip. Fears are not real. Fears are not necessary if you are in the moment. Goodness. And another one has seeped into the crones bones. (drop of wisdom that is). Ahhhh. So, his theory is….slow immersion. Drip by drip, slowly go deeper in the water….or whatever your fear may be.

Ahhh….this movie! “he makes me feel safe and cared for!…”and that’s enough for you? To feel safe? And cared for?” Jeeze…I dunno if it’s enough. My marriage of convenience isn’t always so convenient. Maybe that’s where the anger stems that caused the liver issues. Part of the anger anyway…cuz I know I sure have a lot at some of the things going on on the planet right now. Ahhh….and the cincher to the movie. He calls her a coward for taking the easy way out. Yes. True. To choose to be taken care of, one gives up on the chance of true love. I already know how that feels though. To love with my whole heart….but what I haven’t experienced is to Be Loved that much. Sleepy. Stress sleep. Need it. Night night. 1 am = 1 = Beginnings

Well….it’s been a day of ducks. Getting ducks in a row. Not an easy day by any means, but I got it done. Soon, I will spill the beans. Ha….soon, it’ll be very obvious. Oh heck, I can’t think of anything else. Oh ya….Moonbaby. The cowpatty thing. I’ve decided to check with a local vet I just found. See if there’s anything we can do about that, and who knows…maybe the legs will work again…I dunno. I can deal with the leg thing…but no animal can sustain perpetual diarrhea, no matter how many vitamins he gets. Unless he is a cow. And if he is a goat cow….and especially one who cannot walk….then then and only then, will I consider putting him down. If he could walk, it would be different….just a brown trail…..twinklin under the sun. But sitting in it? Nah. My boy is way too special for that. Ok folks. I’m hanging up before I do spill the beans! Pray! Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch! Paypal address:

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