The unenlightened part of me wants very badly to shout to you how proud of ME I am. How close I’m getting. How close the light is feeling in the journey toward it. There are moments when I can feel the shine on my face. Feel the warmth of the sun of the of. I thought I was so far away. I thought, how can I possibly do it fast enough, learn fast enough, become enlightened fast enough…..before I die. Now…Hehehe… NOW……I see, feel, that although my brain still rushes on…..I’ve gotten so much of the rest of it. I see the light…..in my goal. It’s shining at me. On and off….blinking…rather like Christmas lights. We get our lessons in perfeccct timing, as with all things. This week, I got 2. First Gangagi…..and then Echart Tolle. Well, I should say, Still Gangagi and Echart Tolle. I haven’t stopped either one yet. I just go from one video to the next….yimmyyammying back and forth between the two…depending upon which one I feel the need for. We, I get things….or think I get things…..and go years even believing that you understand until something shows you a deeper level of the same thing. Oh. OH. Oh Holy shit! And yes, shit is holy too…..it’s all the same energy.
My stress level is pretty high. So, I’m painting. It keeps me from thinking too much about things. 2 new paintings done….and 2 more in the works. You cannot possibly understand what I go through these days in order to paint. It’s my own whackadoodle way of storing the fiber. On the bed. In piles. Memory piles. The green with tan swirls is…..stretch the right hand out…go left….reach further…..there. Got it! Ya. Which works fine till I need something I haven’t used in awhile….then stuff goes flying…stacking up into new piles…..on top of old piles….then I can’t find anything! A lot of ugghs and arrrghs and just plain screams…fill the air. The Smooch cat lays in her pile, to my immediate right….and doesn’t move. Not even when I’m doing the toss and fly maneuver. Somehow I don’t crunch her. But anyway…..I seem to have gone BIG on one of these paintings. Why do I keep doing that? And….it’s not flowing as easy as the first two but I don’t give up easy. Jesse saw the 2 I’ve started and had to remark. WHY…..do you always choose such hard things to paint??? I dunno. It’s what speaks to my heart…my eye….my soul. Wish I wasn’t so petrified now of showing it…..without thinking that very soon….it will show up everywhere. Don’t forget….this new thing is and has been in the works for months. I’ve shown a couple people the first 2. One of which is ok….but the people seem to like it. The other, well……it is not at the vision level. I compromised……..cuz I was asked to. Don’t do that. Back to the original way, but still not done….stuff to figure out. Really really really liking this new thing. Now I don’t feel like I’m creating useless stuff. Someone will actually buy these arts. I’m certain of it. In fact, I wanna name them. Am considering renaming the business AGAIN. Ya, I know. Not that it matters, only a few people actually bought, so the name is rather irrelevant. Summer really likes the name Noahs Arts. Cuz of a dream she had….plus cuz God told me this was Noahs Ark….when we saw the property. But to me, it doesn’t speak of whats inside the store……and I want it to. Ok…..short blog but a blog. Miss the photos…haha…but not the hassle of the photos!!! Love! Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch. Uggggh.