I’m truly stunned. I must be the worlds most naïve woman. I actually have hope at creating a better planet. Of becoming a planet that cares about each other and each kind of other. I had hopes that people, most, well, the majority for gods sakes……were good, were kind, were giving and honest. But the nastiness and the willingness…nay, insistence on…..putting heads in the sand….seemed to be more prevalent than kindness or fairness. Ignoring the issue. That was their utmost concern today…..cleaning up the mess I made. What a shame. Instead of discussing the issue, it was swept under the rug and all attempts to discuss it were deleted…..but not before they got to have a little fun with it first. We don’t wanna talk about a big company stepping on a little company….no no no. We just wanna go to Walmart and buy our cheap shit. God, Why am I so stupid? I’ve known this all along! But I really just thought…so silly…..that anyone who desired, needed….to feel softness in their hands on a regular basis…and who felt the need to create warm and fuzzy clothing and blankets…..that represented kindness along with…soft…and colorful….would be as well….soft, and colorful. And kind. And intelligent. Ah well. Guess not. (sorry….this is what you call….reaction. I reacted to cruelty expressed in my direction)
Another thing about the reactions to what I wrote….it was so very obvious that the people judging me…..were doing exactly what they accused me of doing…..judging without proof. Well….I may have some proof but if I share it….I risk people. Not really proof, but more info, if you will. But I won’t risk the food in the mouth of the poor…just so I can prove a point that is as plain as peanut butter without nuts. I can only go by what I see. What I observe and what I feel even. Those haters….didn’t really bother to read the blog, they skimmed it. And if they really wanted to know what type person I was…ie, vindictive, catty, lowlife……they could have read my own words…any of them…nearly 3 years worth….to see that I am not those things. I am one helluva unique individual who never recognizes her worth until maybe this very minute. Who is strong and has withstood being beaten, being raped, countless miscarriages, 38 years of wanting to die, way countless sexual abuses, and several betrayals including being cheated on in most horrific ways. So ya……..I spill my guts for all to see and my motives are clear and simple. I want to help people. I want to give hope to the person about to take their own life and say “hey…….stop a second. I’ve been to your world and I know how to pull you out. Go find the yellow flowers. Bring them to me.” I want to help people on a spiritual journey know that they are not crazy, that yes, I too felt that way. I want to show people things I’ve conquered, survived, so they can see that they too can survive and even thrive when bad things happen to them. Or scary things. I share because I think I’m supposed to as well. I think it’s my duty almost, to share what I know. What worked and what didn’t….and why. If you wonder what I get out of it…well….I get self counseling from seeing my thoughts in print and the typing of them initially too…insights. Shoot…I had one earlier in this very blog. I also, am a writer from birth. Well…… :=))) Its no fun to write if no one ever sees it. Ha…I wonder if that’s what they thought back in the days of the Roman Empire. Can you imagine? A whiny poet?
While I’m waxing on about the Cruellla da Villes of the fiber world, or yarn world, I should say…..there are many many others out there who did one of two things. These ladies either… Told me how brave I was and thankyou for doing the world this favor…..or…….they told me the same thing happened to them!!! So…although I felt the sting….cuz stings are so in your face….there were also plenty of kisses, or kind words and kudos. That part was great. A big huge YAY and Thank YOU!!! Tonight, I skimmed down the Fiber Artist and Yarn Spinners site…with fresh eyes. Yes. I really am….WAS…the most naïve gal on the planet. I realize my spiritual name is Rose….but do my glasses have to be that shade too??? That part was not so great. Ok…I’m getting ready to wind down. Oh…..I called Doc to tell them I was still waiting on the dates to go for a liver sonogram…I guess they forgot me. I wanna know where I stand before I leave on the trip. I guess I’ve decided to go. Y’all keep telling me how courageous I am. Jeeze…I sure hope so. TO go out of country without hubby? To give up sugar, food as I know it even now, which is extreme already? To take one of the most powerful jungle drinks on the planet? Courage. Hmmm. I must say….I wanted a cigarette quite a few times tonight. This dying thing can sure zap the life outta ya. The baby goats are just watching me with interest, wondering what all the fuss is. Which reminds me…I don’t think I’ve really talked about the cow rumen! Imagine! They had a bucket of brown bubbly liquid. After sticking the tube down their throats, and first sucking up a bit to test…..they then poured a huge syringe worth of cow rumen down their throats. Then another, and then another!!! 3 liters! 3 liters in their tiny little bodies. (and no…its not why THOR is improving) Very strange and I’m not sure I like it, but oh well, they are the doctors. OK…well, I guess I’ll say night night now. It is 1:39am = 4 = Angels!!! Yay! Night night.
I’ve been thinking and thinking about all this. It has taken over my brain. The noticing of who is saying what and who is standing up for and it all comes down to………..money. There was a person who was saying she understood that the writer of the piece, me, was under the misguided idea that it was a big company against a little company but that I didn’t realize they were both little companies. Well…..thank you kind lady, truly. I needed an advocate in that pile of mess. But here’s the rub. If Large Entity was indeed a small business……then how in the hell is she able to undercut in the 3rd world countries??? Do you know how they undercut???? They buy a MASSIVE amount!!! They throw money at it. They get the sellers….manufacturers……creators….to sell to them….in huge massive amounts…. WHERE…is the little guy gonna get all this massive amounts of money? Ha. They’re not. Have you ever heard of the show Catfish? Do you really think everyone is who they say they are on the internet? Let me tell you just a few things I’ve observed…..I see people saying…look what I spun last night. Ya…sure ya spun10 skeins of thread. Plied thread. Jesus people! Those pedals only go so fast on that wheel!!!! Or look at all the pretty things I crocheted and knitted!!! Wanna buy them? Then tomorrow….there are more. And the next day…more. Untruths. Another thing…people are coming into the groups saying…..ummmm, gee, I’m not sure this is right, any ideas? What they are really saying is……hey….I’m too cheap to get an Etsy store, so let me show you my thing….and you can then demand to have it! And message me for more! (not all….but some) Yes. Sales techniques I suppose. Plain ole lies. Speaking of lies…..the yarn sold in JoAnns or Walmart…..called HOMESPUN. How in the hell did they get a trademark for a lie???? Really? That yarn was spun in someones living room??? No…..It was done by machine, which is where the vast majority is spun. Because of the trademark…..nobody else can say theirs is homespun. Ha….the home spun yarn can’t be called homespun……only the machine yarn. This really is a simple matter of the giants vs the little guys. Well, guess what? We the people…….are the majority. The companies of greed….are few. Sorta. Relatively speaking anyway. Vote with your money cuz that’s what its all about.
And on with the day……the weather was a bit warmer so Cathy and I sheared 2 more butts! The butts are dry…so we now know the wormer, Valbazen worked. As I suspected. See if I ever trust a vet again. I know….I will have to, but I won’t wanna. Thor is now using his back legs. You see…he was very weak….and he’s been laying on them. It’s just a matter or restoring the circulation. He is moving himself around the playpen now…all by himself. The other two….are just fine. I let them out and they walk the halls for exercise. Wish I had a room just for goats. I’m so happy to be able to say………………………..MY GOAT CRISIS is OVER!!!! Thankyou and AMEN. And thank you to all who prayed with me!!! Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch. Ps….this matter is important apparently cuz the link hasn’t been up in that group since the first night…yet people from around the world are interested and finding it somehow. 400 views yesterday when it’s usually 20-40. So. Ya. Hit a nerve…or a vein. Hoping it’s a vein. Lator gator. And thank you thank you thank you to those who are saying thank you to me!!! Let’s become the world we wanna be. Any ideas????