flirting with death…

Tonight I watched Divergent. Much ado about…..well, about a movie that I wanted so badly to be good that I hung on to the bitter end. There is no way I could choose. I’m just too scattered a person, too jack of all trades. Very strange society, very strange movie. Hard to follow and basically, just ok. Oh well. Hmmm…..I just read a description of the kundalini rising and it sounds like the lead up to and event of my spiritual birth. A few differences but in a nutshell, he said it was like…..a whole new outer world was reborn anew. What was previously mundane and boring became miraculous. Life was suddenly full of adventure and child like wonder again. Yup. That’s my spiritual rebirth. This person experienced tunnel vision beforehand and I experienced traumatic thoughts. Other than that the same. Who woulda thunk? I was expecting tingles or something. :=) I dunno. I’ll ponder it.
I’ve been meaning to mention a new realization. As you know, I try to analyze everything in my Sheri Lee way, and I’ve paid attention at sleep time. I’m talking absolute sleep time. Everything is done, hair situated, shoulders just the right angle, legs at the perfect chest tuck, earplugs in, glasses off, braid undone and eyes closed. Sleep time. It is a time of chaos in my mind. A world of worlds. Unfamiliar ones for damn sure. Very strange and they zip and zap all over, here and there and it’s hard for me to keep up the attempt to notice them. They are extremely elusive thoughts and I’m not sure I really wanna catch any cuz they’re so weird. Like cartoonish or piratey or Wall-E-esque. It’s really freaky and I don’t know how I’ve lived this long without knowing this is what goes through the mind as it goes down in consciousness. Just plain weird.
Herbs. Herbs are in my world again today. Mugwort especially. And on that note……night night. 2:08am = 1 = New beginnings. Ha….I added the New. So much on my mind. Night. 2:26am = 1 = New Beginnings. :=)) hehehe

Ah jeeze, what a day. Babies made not a peep….till this morning, Peaches woke me to say Thor was dying. She couldn’t get around in playpen so kept standing on him. I put him on floor in bathroom and went to check on Moonbaby out with the girls. Had fretted about him all night. Ya, weak…..diarrhea and being challenged. So….i carried him. ALL the way out of the L from the house, across the yard and into the house. Long ways. He’s with Peaches. Then messaged Angela, who knows goats….and she recommended Red CELL….since Thors eyes were still pale. I also gave him molasses earlier. Drove to town for another playpen and redcell. Gave him redcell, went to feed and he was up when we got back in. He ate grain, and hay, drank water and electrolytes…..and now….flat down again. Rumen going, just so weak. So…2 playpens. My room smells really really bad. Oh….and he was not only up…but he walked down the hall to see hubby. But as I said, he now looks like he’s dying again and is now moaning. I swear. I don’t know what else to do. The other two are happily eating hay. What a day. I’m exhausted again. I’ve asked the Tootsie circle to pray for my herd. 59 prayer warriors at last check. Ye know….this prayer circle is spitting out so many miracles daily that it is becoming commonplace. But it is NOT. They are miracles…it’s just that there are so many warriors in this circle that many many miracles can be had. I only place myself there for depression issues or for my animals……why? I guess cuz I should be able to heal myself….by myself. Payback for my own cowardice. I was born a touch healer, yet I squelched it. Stuffed it, out of fear. My bad. Ha, but ya…hey….Thor, although laying there looking like death….if you, meaning I….if I pull on his horn to lift his head……he then eats. :=)))) Kinda prop him up. Honest to God, this has been going on for over a month with him. Maybe 2! Up…down. Up….down. And I do mean down. For those who still don’t understand, let me try again. Between 1-2 years ago…..i had barberpole. Oh…it was when Kiwi was a baby. 2 yrs then. So, my vet switched my wormer. Problem is….he did 2 things. 1, he didn’t switch class of dewormer and 2, he had the dose wrong. The goats, for 2 years, when wormy…..only had portions of the worms killed since the dose wasn’t strong enough. Over time, the worms just built and built up. To me, it was just another worm season, but when the wormer didn’t fix it….and I lost 2 goats….I went to Texas A&M hospital. They switched wormers again. Problem is….it was ineffective even though the poo samples I carried in 14 days later said it worked. It didn’t work on all those hidden worms. Nor, on the other type of worm. So…..the load is very large and it’s gonna take work to get this under control.

In the meantime….I am making some changes. The plan is to grow their food. In the L. Haven’t worked out the fine details yet, but it’ll come. Still so many tails down…..hoping its just the cold. Goofy Thor is still up from when I propped him. Just lookin around and munchin on hay. Peaches wants out I’m sure but isn’t saying a word and has decided she likes me. Moonbaby, not so much. But he will take a peanut from me. Just don’t touch me he says. Thor never cared but he doesn’t crave touch, he just doesn’t mind it. Peaches….hehe….she’s likin it. Her twin, Erbie, now he loved his Mama. God rest his precious little tiny soul. 4 precious souls gone…..due to bad advice from my vet. He will live with that when I tell them. I don’t think that’s being vindictive……I just think he needs to know the mistake he made and by GOD, not to continue it. Who knows how many other people he gave the same dose!!! Uggh. Sick of this topic.

Sorry about the Namaste Farms Blogtalk…it wasn’t on last night. I was disappointed too. I was like…..ughhhhhh…….for a 100 ft internet tower!!! I could have my own blogtalk! Hahaha…..cuz y’all KNOW I can talk!!! Oh wow…..it’s late! Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch! Yes….i’m feeling brighter!

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