Silenced….no more……ya baby!!!

What newness is coming my way. I feel it like a palpable throbbing energy. I don’t know if it will be me that is so new or the adventure or the choices or experiences….perhaps all. I remember when Summer first arrived here and told me about the ayahuasca…and the other jungle medicines including coffee, cacao and peyote, tobacco, iboga, combo(frog). Earth medicines. I had this urgent need and desire to go to Costa Rica and experience. We talked of going and I felt the excitement in me building and knew it was not a good idea. It was the wrong time of year……just beginning rainy season. I knew it was too much, too long, too far away and I would burn myself out with the intense desire so I blocked it. Then we discovered the illness. The different treatments….nearly all the best ones were in Costa Rica, of all places. Somehow, in the end, we ended up choosing one that is not what I had envisioned. I was having such difficulty making the final decision, wondering where the excitement was. The drive, desire to go. The synchronicities lining up in a row…where were they??? Well….life is perfect. I know this. I’ve been studying it. A dear online friend sent me a link tonight. While watching, I related so hugely, like holy mackerel…otherwise known as…holy shit! Or holy shit batman! Not sure why batman has entered my psyche lately, but I’m sure I’ll know one day. But it was about an herbalist. An old lady who used herbs to cure. There was so much, so many aspects of her life that shone a light on my flaws….my steps away from my true self. It began with the goats. I see it now. The goats and the blogging. The goat groups and goat people. The vets. In the end, nearly all my beliefs went out the window. I did things the way the world wanted. It’s more than that really. I once grew herbs….I was writing a book. I threw it away and walked away. The threads of my life, the reasons, the scenes, the memories, the skills, the wishes, the books read, the words spoken, the friends of heart, they’re all coming together now. The fat thin….that which whispered in my ear as a child….revisited a month or so back. Concepts challenged, self changes felt. A very interesting time for me. A whole new world awaits me to see what I can see and affect what I can affect….with a smile. I don’t speak Spanish. :=(( Or back home, as I find ways to share my art with people who will appreciate it. I’ll figure it out somehow. Ok…night night time folks. I’m blogging again for the moment. Feeling up enough. Had a rough day though. Physically as well as mentally. Ah well. It’s very late. 2:18am = 11= Master number. Hehehe.

Anyway, I guess I didn’t bring my point all the way home. As it gets closer in time to go…..2 things are happening to me. One….I feel panic. I have been known to have panic attacks in the past, but I feel I’m past that. And 2, I’m starting to feel urgent excitement. Sometimes I feel both at the same time! A jungle! I’m going to a jungle! Hehe…..I get the check for the cows today and will find out how much. I only get half….thats what hubby said. So…it better be enough! On the other hand….theres still a few left we can try to gather up and take in too.
And, I discovered a lump in the pasture as I passed by the kitchen window for tea cup number 2 that never was had. It was Peaches, down. I carried her to the house cuz she was so cold, ran to call Cathy. Gave her B12 from the horse tube, wiped the excess off and when I came back down to get her she was standing. Loaded her and off to Texas A & M we went. Yup…..my local vet done screwed my goats bad, real bad. The new wormer isn’t working. Guess what??? The wormer he switched me to with the bad dose rate????? Was the same friggin class wormer as the one he was switching me off of!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn’t know! So…..my goats are now immune to that, and the white….so its lavamasole, ie, prohibit. Peaches was up and walking by the time we left, then had to stop to buy a playpen. Then got a call from Jesse, Thor is down again. So….I now have 2 babies in my bedroom in one tiny playpen.

I never did get that 2nd cup of tea. Long day. They kept pushing for a farm visit so finally I said ok look here. Here’s why I don’t want you to come. My place is not spic n span. I don’t rake poolets often and we don’t have a good feed bag system so there are bags all over. It looks messy. NO PROBLEM. Then I remembered the shameful goats. The mite goats. The 3 that resisted my treatment that I planned to put down but nobody could do it cuz we all love them. They are sweet babies who now have deformed feet due to the mites. They said they’d check em and if they can’t help them…they will put them down for me! YAY!!!! They said the only reason they would take my animals….is if I refused treatments…..and they can see I am very willing to help them and that I love them. So….we shall have a farm call. Will cost $250-300. This was $75 ffor todays visit. Not counting the playpen. :=)) I have to say….been around all kinds of poo…..goat poo smells pretttttty bad. Nearly as bad as or AS bad as bird poo. (turkey, peacock). Yikes. And the lice. I feel them already. Yup….it’s love alright. Ok….got the cow check. Not anywhere near what I wanted it to be. I think it’s enough to go though. Looks like I’m headed to Costa Rica baby!!!!! Oh Lordie. Ok……well, somehow I’m supposed to go to the gallery tomorrow. Oh, and the Yellow Rose Fiber fest is this weekend….but we got snow and sleet forecast. I really needed to go and use the feltloom too. Crap. Looks like a solo drive comin up…..to rent it. Well….the babies are doing great so far in the playpen. Sweet sweet babies. Peaches should be liking me by the time this is over in fact….she was walking over to stand by me, for protection at the hospital!!!!! WOW! YA! Ok……I feel good now. Nothing to hide, full disclosure. Yes, there are feed bags laying around. Yes, there are poolets. Yay! I have my voice back. See, none of this is my fault….it wasn’t even the kale. I told them it might be my fault, cuz of trying to boost their copper with the kale. So. Ya. I feel so much better and so does Peaches. Thor is with her and has had his new wormer too. Believe you me, my old vet is fixin to hear about this. Now….I can tell you that there is one less goat here now. Sweet Gaia. Pirouette’s baby twin. I’ve been saying for a few days now….why are there so many down tails???? They should all be up by now. Now we know. So, will have to reworm AGAIN!!! Alright. I’m pooped. Thanks to you all for your understanding during my depression and my feelings of betrayal. You help me and I help you. We are all a pair!!! LOL. Tonight should be Namaste Farms Blogtalk…to talk most likely about the new shampoo. I’ll have to tell ya about that another time. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch. Hope to see ya at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/namastefarms And if ya wanna see my art…..go to http://www.noahs-arts.com Later gater.(ya, I know)

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