Need to decide!!!

While I’m still evolving and unfolding, there has however, been a light shift. Ha, ya, pun on words. The dark cloak that’s been thrown over me has been slowly lifting. It is not gone. YET. It is hovering but lifted. I do not spend my days crying. Course I’m only talkin 2 days. IF that. So take that into ponderation with ya. Each step out has been followed by a slide back. There is one new thing that should shift things a wee tad maybe. Or a huge tad maybe. I asked for a decision, a what to do about the gallery, since the 1st is on Thursday, and I’d need to have my stuff out by then if not gonna continue. I asked God, before I went to sleep. I woke with the answer. Go or stay? Neither. For a few more dollars, and the perfect timing, I got the room in front of mine. It is across from Monk, which gives me equal chance. Also, I’m going to shift it from a gallery to a shop/gallery. Just wish I had more product to put in it. I mean, I just made the decision today, I need to make some stuff fast. Wait. Hmmm, there is no rush. Which brings me to the next topic. Costa Rica.

The plan is and has been….to go to a healing retreat center in Costa Rica where I would do coffee enemas, cleanses, Chinese medicine, ayervedic medicine, mushroom medicine and possibly even ayahuasca but doubtful. You see, the ayahausca is in a different place, a few hours away. Problem has been that I have fears. Crazy fears, like kidnappings, flight disappearances, snakes, men, getting lost, you know…..crazy fears. Since or partway into this here depression……my decision making skills took a big nosedive. They weren’t so hot before the dive, so jeeze. The fact that I woke up this morning with a decision is astounding. I procrastinated getting my passport renewed and now we gotta fly out of another place because of it. IF I GO. I also need to make the money to go. I have a bit I’ve been gifted for the trip but still need another good portion or two. I know I know, y’all don’t always get my weird little things, so here’s the breakdown….I need money for the trip. I won’t be staying the 3 months like I originally planned….not even sure I can do a full month. We shall see. IF I GO. So….who would let fear…..keep them from life saving treatment? Me. It’s getting closer so I gotta make a firm decision soon. It’s all about the mind. What I can get the mind to do. Healing included. What do I have mustard seeds worth of??? Well, I do have a mustard seeds worth about this mornings decision because it was dependent on me getting the other room. If it hadn’t been available, and such a tiny hike in price, I was gonna walk away. That was the plan. Also, I asked if I can use the mannequin/dress forms…yes! Yay! I wonder if I’ll have the nerve to ask if I can go in her room. Her STUFF room. I could use some stuff to set up this new space. Display stuff. Haha…so funny. I need display stuff…….and I need stuff to display. I also need to sleep. 2:35am = 9 = endings. Ha. So accurate. Night night!

Well……the above was written on Tuesday I think. I’m disjointed and not really having anything worth saying so today is Saturday the 3rd. I guess it’s ok that I’m not writing all the time now. A bit of fast moving and inspiration and both rooms got emptied and my new one was filled. Basically, we are changing places, the little dress shop will now be in the tiny gallery room I began with. She was only gonna let me use one dress form but I was brave and joked my way into 2!!! Go Sheri! It was a very stimulating day for me. I mentioned on FB the other day that I was in an unfamiliar chrysalis. I do indeed feel like a caterpillar in process of getting wings. I feel new and different. Another reason I’m not writing. I’m usually not fit company. Guess I’m at that gawky teenage stage of transformation. I had fun, I felt in charge, I felt worthy to be there, I felt confident. Yay! I am however, in more pain than usual. The fire in my back has returned. Inflammation = heat. And, on that note….I’m gonna rest these old bones. 2:13am = 6 = Earth. Ya.

Spent the day making these fun little children things that Summer and I made for each other, owl in a blankie. I sold one….hot on the sponge!!! LOL…! Five bucks but I think I need to get ten for the fiber inside. It was a real good vibe. The room felt good and people seemed to have more respect. It must be the dress forms. Hard to explain. I told hubby I’m gonna put a money jar out for the Costa Rica trip, which it seems I’m about 2 heartbeats from committing to. I’m panic ing already. I dunno. Need to decide! Later. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch after midnight.

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