My emotions go like a yimmy yammy. Bing bong, dooodaaap…..yup, inda knees as we sneeze! Lots of sneezing these days. Allergic to what? Death perhaps. Or perhaps life. I never knew. I’m so bummed at one part of my life. I’m rather disappointed in this one aspect of my new life…the depressing whiny part. I was a teacher here for so long. Now all I do is whine and talk about whining. Where did the teacher in me go? Why am I the student again? Who am I to know these answers…nobody knows these answers, yet it bothers me that I don’t know. Like I’m singled out. It’s only you that don’t know these things Sheri. Ya I call bullshit. I had a pretty hard night tonight. I was sinking fast when a couple…yes, it took 2….people distracted me by having a conversation with me. It was perfect timing cuz I was writing in the book tonight. It had been awhile. My last entry was about getting a gallery. Ha. A bit of catchup to do, eh? Nah, it all fit in perfectly. I’m a few hundred words from 10,000 at this point. I wonder when and how the book ends! I mean…seriously…how will I know when to end it? Whether I end up living or dying? Really…how will I know?
Really…when will I know if I get to live? I thought I knew the day I thought my virus was sleeping. I posted my numbers, the folks said yay, those numbers are normal, I jumped the gun and assumed that meant it was sleeping. Apparently the numbers can fluctuate and it may not mean anything. I may not have healed anything from that particular set of protocols and healing modalities at that moment in time. I however, have been doing more treatments since then. More things that may heal me. I’m trying what I know to try. Also, what I can afford to try. Even what I can’t afford to try. The coffee enemas, yum…..await me in the jungle. I remember back before I knew I was sick. Summer was teaching me about the jungle cures and she began to introduce me to ayahuasca. Then I heard about the iboga. The iboga was way more frightening than the ayahuasca but it was known for ridding the human of fears…the unnecessary kind…and addictions as well. But I noticed it cuz of the fear. My lil ears perked up cuz of the fears. Ha. Yet now here I am planning to go to the jungle!!! Fears!!!???? Death….Life. Life….Death. It’s the inbetween. The middle. Yo Budddha.
I’ve had an idea. See, it’s all about the money now for me….how gross. But it seems to be. During Namaste Farms Blogtalk one night, the cohost, Kimberly was explaining that in her husbands world….money was never really seen. It was spent but was never seen. Even into the millions. Don’t know what his career is, but I guess it is true or can be true. Wallstreet. The stock market. Things are bought and sold for oodles of money with no actual money changing hands. Reminds me of the movie….A Million to Juan, where a man in a limo gives a poor guy selling oranges on the street…a check for a million dollars. People gave him things, did things for him…all on the Promise, or illusion of that money. That paper check. Like the paper money. Like paper dolls. I know how to play paper dolls! Used to be one of my favorite childhood things, now that I think about it. Forgot! I seriously….seriously loved paper dolls. Hmmm, what does that say about me? Hmmm….dress up? A pretend life? Ok……goin to bed early tonight. No painting. Wrote in the book quite a bit instead. Night night folkies. Gonna shear tomorrow….if…it doesn’t rain. 1:07am = 8 = Infinity. I could paint for infinity.
Good thing I wrote last night. I’m in a mood….brought on by disrespect. It’s my home, my rules and I don’t care how old you are. Oh….and you’re welcome for the friggin ride. Well….got 2 more goats sheared. They know something is up and there was a lot of fighting last night after Sunshine was sheared…the lone goat sheared…..man, they were relentless, so today I made sure we did 2. And they were the last 2 of this years babies. The babies are done, yay. I’ve run outta room for fiber. The shower is no longer holding them. They just roll right back down the fiber bag mountain to land in a puddle on the floor. The puddle is growing. What to do, what to do. Nobody wants it but me cuz the lice are bloodthirsty suckers that refuse to listen to the world view, that chemicals down the back will make them die and go away. Especially if you do it every 10 days for awhile….to catch all the possible life cycles. Well….NOT. Didn’t work. AA fortune spent….extra this time…….and once again…same results. Lice. So……..Bury me with it for Gods sakes. Ya….I’m in a mood. A real bad one. Was yesterday too. Severe really. Shit….I now don’t even know if the damn crow painting is any good. This is not a good point in my life. I just gotta keep going. I dunno why. Why? Well….the blog went way south after that….talking about the sale that also went south, why do they do that? ….. so I deleted it and will end here. Here’s to a better day tomorrow. Amen. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.
http://www.noahs-arts.com/ It’s Noahs Arts….but don’t forget the dash!!!