So far so good. We made it through the night without crying or fighting. A lot of togetherness will do that ye know. I had a realization during blogtalk when Kimberly was discussing money and that we each had a relationship with money…what was ours? I thought about it and mostly I was a waitress….which is rather like a slave or scullery maid….or at least leaning in that direction. But the last portion of my life was as a stripper. Money… was folded dollar bills, placed in my g-string. I had an aha epiphany thing. I need a new relationship with….hmmm….i need a new name for it. Tonight I was thinking of a ceremony….do I need one…let’s see. A name. I got it. Fundsy. Yay!!! It’s got the word fun in it! Ah what the heck…remove the D…the damn D. Funsy. Ok….so, Hello Funsy! Lets do some shrooms and chat awhile. Lol…haha, no. Really, Lets chat. And no really again…I wanna do some shrooms. Remember I had just done that experiment with them when I found out I was sick? Ok…its late. Night night folks. Chamomile taken so I should sleep. 2:47am = 4 = Angels!!!! Angels watch over my baby as she travels.
I been thinkin…observing. It looks like I got off the roller coaster somehow and now I seem to be in the ocean…as part of a wave. Either way, it’s still one helluva ride…..with heavenly undertones and hella good curves! Been thinkin about that money theory all night. My mind singled out the words I had used last night when I asked for donations. There was no new update yet, no new video to be posted, so I just did a simple request, along with my paypal address. But what my mind wanted me to see was that in the request, I had said that I’d worked really hard and basically…you could give me money cuz I worked so hard. So….thats how I feel? If I work hard I get to live? Interesting. If I hadn’t worked hard, I wouldn’t deserve to live? I’ve decided that funsey needs to smell a rose or pet a goat or something. I’ve got him in my pocket….ready to play and meet new friends and have them over for awhile. Haha…my simple request was met with silence….and that’s ok. Funsey and I are just now getting to know each other. Besides…..I’m thinkin I can do more. Maybe people don’t wanna just give money without getting anything. That’s no fun. I’m gonna think on this. Last night during blogtalk…Natalie said that its easy for people to purchase her little 35 dollar scrapboxes but it’s not so easy to buy my paintings which have a hefty price tag due to the amount of time….but that I should remain true to myself…and my time….and wait, or find the right market. Haven’t found the right market yet. Market…where are you? Maybe you are on the road. Maybe I should just go on the road. Ya right…I have goats. Goats that I won’t be able to breed this year…no babies. How sad is that? For me…very. But if I’m gonna be gone a few months come February, then I can’t be breeding for March babies….who would tend them? Birth them? No…safer this way. And one way or another, I will be going away. I will be getting a cure…or else…why bother??? Why bother indeed? Why not go back to the beer every night….and the cigarettes. Oh ya baby…..and the fried food. Ye know…..I gave it all up….meat, fried foods, prepared foods, my foods, my brands, my condiments, my potatoes……..and my kid….love ya girl…only notices that I still eat too much sugar. Course, it’s not her that I need to impress…it’s my liver.
Poor Monk…he stepped in it again. He basically said I was too old to save….save the young instead. Ya…it hurt. Then I got a grip. He is just not in this world. He is correct about one thing. When you are enlightened…or when you Think you are enlightened…it is now very different living in the world…..you no longer need thought, food, sleep, people. Once that happens….you’re pretty well screwed on planet, cuz the rest of us do need those things and are those things, therefore if you no longer need people…you no longer know how to BE with people. I assured him I still had things to say. Of course, he being enlightened….dismissed that. :=))))) hehe. Love it.
I’ve started a new painting. It’s a series. I had the lightbulb moment just before sleep last night. Already had the painting…well, one. Now there will be more. Gotta give monk some credit…his crude words have spurred me to be a REAL artist. I know I know…sorta kidding. But I’ll give it a go. Summer really is leaving come morning. Just had the oil changed and good to go. Ahhhh….we will make it. I will make it. How did I come to rely on her so much so fast? I always thought it interesting that we diapered them and taught them….and in the end…they diaper us and teach us…lol, I’m your daughter mama…hehe. Not there yet and hope to avoid that one completely….eh? Ok…signing off at YeeHaw Ranch. I know I’m forgetting something. Still searching for a charka to be donated or a kick spindle….also….if you feel so called…my paypal is firstname.lastname@example.org Love ya!!!