It’s very late and I should be laying down. I’m upset with Jesse. He keeps calling me…my nigga. He’s doing it a lot lately….and I finally reacted. I asked him to stop calling me that. He refused to stop, saying it affected his ability to be himself. He also thought it offensive….that I was offended by the word. That I am racist because the word bothers me when in fact…the use of the word with an A at the end…is the newbie humans way of making everything all ok now. Just forget what happened in the past, forget the slavery that happened, the torture, the rape, the killing, the abusing. All gone, all better now cuz we are changing that bad word from ER to A. All fixed now. There. I’ve had my rant and I feel calmer now. Maybe I can sleep soon. I have a vague head pain but it comes and goes these days. Some of it’s from hollering, some is not. Goodness. I shall be taking down my FB post about the cigarettes. Having the words…I want….connected to something I can’t have…..in written form….is not a good idea. Not good energy. All I know is…I have more want lately. Since then. I need to change it, those words. Say something else like maybe……I want my lungs to breathe deep….to heal. It too, is a true statement. I can choose which one to say….i want the bad thing, or I want the good thing. And in this newly understood world of energy exchange…..I think I’ll go with good. Think I’m going to the gallery tomorrow, so its late. Gotta go. 2:31am = 6 = Earth.
Well, with a bit of digging, I discovered that what I wanted to achieve with the dragonfly wings is indeed doable…..but with Angelina, not firestar. And it requires a film, as well as the Angelina. You iron it and it does almost exactly what I wanted. I wanted it on top of silk though. So, if I were to do it……there is really no fiber in it. I don’t really consider Angelina a fiber. Its synthetic. So yes, I could do it……but I don’t think I will. This dragonfly will just look different from my old vision…it will be a NEW vision. The sweetest old couple just popped in and will be back in a few days. I love meeting people like them. Oh, and they are name people…..they ask you their name then use it before leaving your presence. I do that. 2 reasons. Helps to remember it….and most importantly, it makes them feel seen. I love letting people know I see them. Thinking you are invisible is just horrid.
So…..that call for artists…is for a crow. Art about a crow. I have many many crows where I live and like I said, I chose the last sketch, so now my brain ponders it throughout the days. It rolls around in my head, literally…rolls……..giving me different views, different perspectives. What colors? How exactly will you achieve your voice….your crow voice? When it has rolled around awhile, I’ll throw it in a brain stew. It then simmers. And simmers. Until…..it’s just right and I get all the ingredients figured out and in the right amount….then, I can begin to plate it up. Same with the dragonfly. The artist….at work. Hehe…reminds me of Monk….as people walk in the doors and show an interest at the paintings on the hall wall…he says…I’m the artist. I hear that a lot….I’m the artist. :=))
Well….we just paid the final fine on Jesse’s drivers license. He is now eligible to get a license. Hooyah!!!!
I had a moment. I know you’re gonna read this and think….didn’t she already say this? Come to this conclusion? Nope…not quite. Close, but no cigar. I gave it to God. Last night. My health. I was stressin and thinkin of all the things that needed to happen and trying to figure out how to visualize getting the right amount of money….thru sales of paintings? That requires a vision that is different than a fundraiser vision. Seriously folks!!! If you’re trying to create something, you need to see it. So…my brain was like….visioning getting huge donations……then, in the next second….seeing paintings go out the door here and swiping of the credit card on the Square. Hmmm….kinda twisty visioning, eh? Not clear. See, I have 3 ways to manifest….the 4th floor, the shopping field and the visualization of ecstatic joy at receiving what I desire. Thing is…with all 3 of those….you create your intention…then back off. Release it. But releasing it is not so easy for me and last night,….that’s when I finally just got perturbed by it all and said…..finally said…..ok God…..You take the wheel. I’m not sure where to steer. Where am I going? So now….when I have a thought that I won’t be able to do the IV or the NM IV, I just remember…oh ya…you gave it over to God. Is there a GOD? Not sure. There is something though…..whether its God or it’s a script……its something…..and that Something, is my friend, my confidant and my hero. Ahhh, don’t I have a poem about Something? Hehe. He’s my bestie. Love my Something. Something told me to make that call, buy that thing, not go to work, turn left instead of right, etc. So anyway….I feel better now that I’ve made that decision. If it works out, it works out. Not sure how this kind of way plays out as far as needing to make reservations, but screw it…it’s in Gods hands. I’m just gonna keep painting, keep blogging, keep loving, inspiring, teaching, learning, eating, flying!!!!
Ok….here are my liver numbers……… protein….was 7.1 now 6.8
Alco(something) was 97 now 98
All others same….
Sgot was 124 now 26
SGPT was 123 now 25
Is this good? Nurse seemed to think so. Still not digesting well, so I dunno. I am gaining weight though…well, holding at 110 or 111. SO……its possible that what I’ve been doing….with your help….is working!!!! Oh man…wish I knew about these numbers!!! My digestion is icky right now so I don’t wanna get excited but……? Hehe….couldn’t help myself…posted the numbers on FB. Nursey didn’t tell me much, just the numbers. WOwzaaaaa….FB says…..liver numbers within normal range!!!! Yay!!! It’s sleeping again!!!! Shhhhhhhh……quiet…..!!! Don’t wake it! Happy happy dancing here in the gallery. Lady walks in….I say….I’m getting better! I have liver disease….Me too she says….hepC…me too she says…..My numbers are in normal range today!!! HOW?????????? So…….Miss Stephanie and I shall be emailing and chatting about how I did it! Yay!!! Still need to do the NM thing, to repair the liver….then keep doing this stuff and I get to LIVE!!!! WOWZA!!! The lady Stephanie …..I said, we’ll get you fixed too….she said, sometimes the answer is no…but I’m not ready yet. I said…well, if HE was saying no…HE wouldn’t have sent you to me!!! Ha. Yay oh yay. Signing off so happy at 920 Main Street Bastrop, Texas Noah’s Arts….aka…….www.noahs-arts.com