not so festive….Festivals?

There’s a mighty rumble the likes I haven’t heard in…oh….who the heck knows. If I was the type to get scared…haha….I probably would be. It is thunder most high. High and mighty. And whoosh…..there comes the rain. Loud. Trying to compete with the volume on my tv. The girl walks in….fresh from the city, smells the odious horror of cooked cow and demands justice. The yellow kitty must have known the rumbles were comin cuz she is all curled up next to me for the first time in a week. It’s a very strange rain. A strange odd feel. An intensity unfelt in quite awhile. Clean this state, wash it clean. Thank you Mother. God Bless Texas. Yeehaw!

I’m watching a hallmark movie and realizing that a movie, takes an incident….breaks it down to a tiny dot…..polishes that tiny dot and then wala…the tiny dot is presented!!! Repeat, wash, rinse and repeat again and again. All in order to shrink time. Perceived time. Fit the story into a 2 hour slot, along with 45 min of commercials and ya…ya gotta do some mighty squeezing. In law, they do the same thing. Take a story and reduce it to a few tiny sentences. It is as if life took that knowledge and when the century turned, it multiplied it like the branches of roots…whether above the ground as branches or below ground as roots. That’s what I see around me. Speed it up. Faster, less, crunch, squeeze…..grinding down to nothing. That’s what grinding does ye know… start with something but if you grind enough….gone. Yup. Scary. Yup.
In the gallery today, one of the ladies visiting said to her friend…if she can do this with a needle…imagine what she could do with paint! :=) Ha. Me too lady, I wanna know too. Found a 10 yr old bottle of liquin today I’d been needing to find to attempt oils. Very old, but still liquid. One step closer. Haha…its an artist thing. That brush won’t hit that canvas until the exact moment Life says so. Poor Summer, had to do the city thing….no Billy today so she had to do the assembly herself of the frames. This is all the frames we buy until things sell. If this doesn’t prove to the people that it is buyable…I friggin don’t know what will. It seems….that was the hold up for some. They were concerned with dirt and dust. I assured them, if it was a fragile one…the shadowbox protected them and for most of them, that aren’t fragile, then light vacuum or tapping from behind or light shake….would probably do the trick. Anyway, bottom line….it looks more like art now and Monk said he is going to whisper to the right ears that next year is my turn. LOL. I find that giggly. Ahhhh, bedtime…… early! 12:45am = 3 = Holy Trinity. Father…..creator…..Son… show the way(of the mind)….Holy Ghost…Spirit living inside us, guiding us from within and without. (just a little ditty interpretation for ya) Night night.

Ah goodness. Well…a lot of traffic and feet in the door…a bunch of oh….this is gorgeous!!! And a quadrillion…..I’ve never seen anything like this before!!! No,,,, You probably haven’t! They say it was the most traffic so far for First Friday. Today is the Art Festival. Hmmm. Needs work! First off…..have it on Main Street…to include the shops….if you’re closing the streets off anyways, why not. Also. Get rid of the extreme politics. Permits permits permits. Rules, rules, rules. Another thing….have the shops open the same time or earlier, than the festival starts. Leave the front doors open…on buildings having multiple shops inside….so more people walk through the doors. When the door is open…people walk in….when shut…nah, not so much. Friggin frustrating….at the back of the hall. Getting frustrated. Ha…I feel like a man who can’t get him none. All this potential and nowhere to display it…lol. Heheheheeeee, sorry. Couldn’t help myself. 40 more minutes and the festival will officially be over…at 5pm. A sale? Please? One…two????? Hard to keep hopes up with progress like this….ie….snails pace to nada. (ie…0-90) ya right. Maybe joy can cure. Hmmm. Nah…not with all this stress. Bummerzzzz man. Ah well….I’ll just keep painting till I don’t. There is a lady who says she’s coming back on Wednesday to buy the bluebonnet painting I’m currently working on at the gallery. Here’s to hopin!!!

Today, on the drive here, I was thinkin and talkin to my Self….and I realized….that if I am someone….then my self is someone too. It was a realization long in coming. It was a freedom….like….oh, hello lady in this body!!! I know you! You’re a sweetheart! See….if I look at it like that…I can do it. If I look at it like we are one…..I have the hard on one of us SELF. I wonder if this way…is productive? I dunno. Worth a try to see cuz it sure felt good! And it felt happy. I could feel her smiling. See? I’m doing it again!!! I was taught not to do that…that it was crazy….that people would think I had split personality if I thought in those terms….I, however, disagree…lifes teacher has done well with me. She…….however, is very sad that no paintings were sold this weekend. She worries about this because it was such a high traffic thing…and nobody bought. We don’t understand. We/I, are a bit sad. She…. is a lot sad and cried and cried to release it last night on the drive home. WE….will be ok. Ha…till we aren’t. I know I know….death humor.

For a health update… medicine…the non crazy one…was finally available, so we spent most of the money available on that. It hasn’t arrived yet and it’s driving me crazy, been over a week. There is not enough money to do the IV thing, so for now…..we are in wait mode. In the meantime….I had blood removed from my body 2 days ago and should know next week if I’m getting better with what I’ve done so far. Scary that. Getting the results, I mean. Nursey lady said….did Doc order this? Nope…I did! I wanna know if what I’m doing is working. Ok…well, the big weekend was a bust….except I met a whole ton of new people and Sheri and Charlie showed up…that was a nice treat!!! And just the fact of how many eyes saw the paintings…that’s gotta be good, right? Did everyone with something new struggle so??? I dunno. It’s a heart strain…drain, that’s a fact. Love you all….thats another fact. Love love. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch!!! Ps…tomorrow is Oct. 5. Last year (the first ever)….it went by without me even remembering or noticing. Usually it’s a devastatingly haunting memory anniversary. Complicated story, bottom line it??? I’ll try. Separated from abusive hubby Bobby….he breaks into the trailer I’m staying in and removes a bullet from the rifle. He then comes back when he sees me pull in. Commences to trying to talk me into killing myself. He is successful. I grab the rifle…..that is ALWAYS loaded…and I put it in my mouth and Squeeze!!!! Oh my. No bullet. Ok…so how is that him trying to kill me? Cuz he was there. He prolly hoped and planned that I would do it again, with the bullet….after he left and he would hold no responsibility for it. My friend Susan saved me that day and many more. He was trying to rape me when she saved me and he flew off and chased her. Horrible horrible day. Bobby is dead. I am alive. Fate is strange….and fading memories are ….awesome!!! the fading part anyway….ok…love love.














7 thoughts on “not so festive….Festivals?

  1. The painting look great. Sometimes when people are spending that much money they will go away and think about what they saw and come back when they realize how much they liked it. Big hugs

  2. You will sell a painting when you least expect it. It WILL help that so many eyes have seen them. And yes, I do think it goes like this for many if not most artists….

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