hearts don’t break…they just get beat up

I don’t feel I have anything to say at the moment, that’s why I didn’t blog yesterday. My brain isn’t taking me deep right now. Just surface debris. This weekend coming up is rather big hopes for the tiny gallery. It’s a combo. On Friday, is the once a month,…..First Friday Artwalk, and the next day is the Art festival on Main street. I’m on Main Street. I won’t be in a tent as I originally thought cuz now I have my own gallery. Such a cool word that. Gallery. So, I/we are trying to think of what else we can do cheaply or free….and in a hurry. We got more business cards at vistaprint. Cheap and nice…and I get to design it. Like 8 dollars. Wait, 12 maybe. I’m hopin people remember me at Christmas. After all, it is a unique gift. Also, we had some digital images made of some of the paintings. She’s the head of the art guild and was very cheap….since the boy who offered from the copy store….musta changed his mind, cuz he didn’t return my email. Also, monk has offered to make some prints. He can even make canvas prints. I have one I’d love to see on canvas instead of canvas board. Many Faces. I just love that one, one of my all time favorites if not THE favorite.

Monk is nearly desperate for me to frame the paintings. You can see it in his face, hear it in his voice. There is nothing pretentious about this man. He likes me, so he wants me to do well….but poor guy…..it must be so hard on him to look at my paintings and see the imperfections. Ya….I’m still sensitive about what he said about my art compared to my daughters. I just don’t know why anyone would say such a thing…especially if they like me. Why? Hubby says it’s a compliment…that I’m a good teacher. No….not in my brain. I heard all three……better lines, details and proportions. Hmmm. IN all honesty, I don’t think that’s the case, but she is very very good. And so am I. Hehe. I said it!!!!! I am very very good! Yay!!! Just finishing up a hummingbird I started Friday or Saturday. It’s a close up of the top half. I like it. I think. I yimmy yammy about it…..ever since I put the feather markings on the bottom colored feathers and up the throat. I think its as done as I can get it. Just need to add black around the background but I’ll do that tomorrow. It’s bedtime. 1:29am = 3 = HOLY TRInity……Holy SPIRIT.

Oh MAN! Ye know how on say the Colored Angora Goat Group, for example…someone postsa a question and people type in the comment box…following…….cuz they too wanna know the answer.???? Ya. Well….imagine that…..on a suicide thread. It’s hell. For someone like me…who has escaped that prison….it devastates me when I see someone else behind those bars. And then multitudes who chime in and say….wait….can’t you see me? I’m over here in the corner….or….hey…I’m under this grey blanket… or….oh please…..see me here on the floor, or in that hole or under this weight….they are there. Like white on rice….like lice on goats…they are there….hiding in the shadows, hoping, just hoping that one day…someone will see them. Hear them. Acknowledge them. It squeezes my insides daily to see so many in pain. I want to take it from them. From you too! My sadness’s these days don’t last long. I refuse to let them….cuz I don’t wanna go back down that road…but there are so many people on the road! Lordie…so many people. How to help them??? Not all are literally at the edge….but a whole huge amount are!!! Scary!!! What can I do???? What can I do??? I wish I had a miracle up my sleeve.

Apparently my hubby is also of the mind that if we frame them….they will sell. Haha, reminds me of…if you build it, they will come. LOL. So, we shall run to Austin tomorrow and look at some frames…half off…at Michaels. Must sell some paintings to continue my treatments….doin everything in my power to do so. Fighting, I am. Uggggh…….I lost track and turns out I used the last of the sharp shear blades…..started on lil Peaches but had to stop. The blades were pullin her hair, she was crying and I don’t want that to be her first shear experience so we stopped real quick. Barely any taken off, so less to go bad, and it will…where I sheared it at. She went running and crying back to mommy. For any who remember Lovey…he was just an ill baby that I saved and kept alive. My Erbie is much like that. Erbie was born healthy but has gone the other way. So very tiny, bad fleece, poopy butt, bad leg, just a literal mess……but what a sweetheart of a mess. I adore that wee one. Corrid is on the menu for this evening. Yum! (For cocci something or other) Will be giving it to a few others as well. Still don’t know the correct dose so I may be underdosing them but I refuse to give them the amount it looks like they want me to give. Sad. Worms…so sad. I don’t like these worms. Buddha…..what say you about these worms???

Today….will be a big day here goatwise. One friend said not to do this…that her goats killed her babies when she did it…….but the plan is to move the yearling boys and the baby boys…in with the bigboys…in the 6 acre pen. I do not think my boys will hurt them. Now, it is rut season, and they will do boy rut things…but I genuinely know these goats and don’t believe any will cause harm to a small goat. I know these boys. Also, the one goat who has mites, will be escorted out and will take the pen that will be vacated by the yearlings. I’ll put Bentley in with him cuz I don’t think he’s too far gone and if theres any girls with mites…they too may go in there. A pregnancy wouldn’t be an issue. Discovered that the blade on the broken shears is brand new…so we can shear a few more after all…in the meantime…I’ll send the other 6 pairs off to be sharpened at…..Thornton….Decatur, Tx. There….somehow I managed to fill a blog. I’m stressed. Very stressed. OH….ye know what? I have some very very dear friends. Some of my friends are just beyond kind and my heart sings….lol, offkey, but it sings. I am ever so grateful for you…and you know who you are!!! Blessings to you and yours in a big way! And you removed a bit of stress…like picking up a rock that was sitting on me. Thanks sweetie. Ok….guess it’s time to say signing off at YeeHaw Ranch. Ps…the IV treatments are on hold…

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