This is a very emotional day for me. Oh dear Lord, calm this heart. I am stressing and freaking and I don’t know for sure that what I’m stressing about is true…..but if it is, oh man. There is a room ahead of mine in the hallway of this building. Directly across from the artist monk…..which would actually maybe give me a chance. I wanted that room, but it is in use by the lady who owns the building. My plan, at the monks suggestion was to wait a bit and have her get to know me and like me, than ask if she would swap with me. I think they just rented it…..without asking me if I wanted it. If true…..how damn upsetting. OH God…they did. They did. I may as well pack up and go home. Where is my faith? I dunno….I feel doomed.
Doomed…like the being who went splat and thud on my windshield today as I drove to the gallery. My gut knew what it was. I drove a ways, looking for a turnaround….saying NO NO NO! Didn’t see it. Turned around again, towards work and drove real slow. Yes. Laying in the middle of the road, was a young hummingbird. But here’s the thing. Yesterday, I saw a FB friend posting about a hummingbird and it had been slightly injured and was in her hand. She said later that afternoon that it had returned to visit with her and I had a thought. A THOUGHT. My thought was….awwwe, I want a hummingbird to come and be my friend like that! Less than 24 hours later…..a hummingbird was laying in my hand in the exact position as the photo I’d seen yesterday…..of her hand. A thought. Must’ve been the exact recipe……..a dash of wish, spoonful of desire, an image for the brain to hold, and a dollop of excited WANT. Yes, I got my photo. I got my visit and friendship with a hummingbird. This was a young one, tinier than most. I talked to him the whole way, had to stop and get gas too, one handed. I arrived here and asked if anyone had a feeder on Main St….no, but next door had sugar, so she made sugar water and baby drank. Took Tiny Precious to our patio…..let him eat…on his own….but he kept getting energy and trying to fly but couldn’t and would fall into the water cup. Several times this happened. Then while preventing that…he then would land on the table, which had holes….he kept getting stuck. I said…no, the ground where he won’t get hurt. Bent down and he died in her hand. She immediately dug a hole in the flower pot nearby and I said no……I wanna say goodbye but she wouldn’t leave so he is in the hole, but I’ll get him before I leave and take him home so I can bury him near me. Tiny Precious. I told him how sorry I was that I had asked the universe for that scenario. I wasn’t as careful as I should be…once upon a time, I woulda made sure to request also that no hummingbird be harmed in the creation of my dream. But I didn’t do that. I just blurted out my careless desire. I am so sorry tiny baby.
In this moment…the artist monk has just taken potential customers….out of the building…and over to another artists place. I gotta get a grip. Summer will tell me what the Dr. office said in New Mexico when I get home. Come on Sheri…what will be, will be. Que sera sera. The moment I typed that, I saw a message……a link to a B&B in Las Cruces NM, sent by someone who cares. In the moment. Live in the moment. So hard to do. The saddies are so hard to keep away these days. I try, really I do try to stay positive. I do however, feel a drive home with loud wailing comin on.
And that’s not all. I’m having trouble with the painting. Last night, the kids insisted the whole dragonfly be 3D…probably right. But I’m not having success with the wires. I’m aggravated and sad about that too. Ya, I will get it….I am a very stubborn chocolate chip cookie! But in the meantime……I’m way stressin over it. I may have to sew it down. It won’t need to be moved really, just posed I suppose….then DON”T touch it!!! Hahaha. I dunno, another trip to Lowes sounds like. Ahhhh….I was stressin for nothing……she is just helping out one of the other shop owners tomorrow….so, now….my monk has said something to her and she now knows I am interested in the shop ahead of mine. Who knows…when I get the easel in the hall, it may help and I may not need it, but to be across from the artist instead of behind…would give me at least equal ground. Ha…I’m way in the back with the hairdresser and the shrink! So….yay…..guess it has then been a good day after all…what a change in perspective! I was looking at it as bad, adding up the events….but…..the Tiny Precious event was a precious gift…not bad, even in his death.
More rain. I haven’t seen this many rainy days in years, here in the drought ridden state of Texas. Really pouring and hubby is on his way here….just cuz. He has a colonoscopy on Monday morning and has already requested my assistance to drive back and forth and to stay in the RV in that town. So, Sunday night I will be hangin out in an RV park in Bryan College Station…waiting for hubby’s buttscope. So….my IV will wait. It’s ok though, the univerese said it wasn’t time yet anyway…..tried 3 days in row to get the bloodwork done….3 different reasons why it didn’t happen, including todays baby hummingbird, and the loss of the script! Looks like I’ll try again Tuesday…can’t have IV till bloodwork drawn. Hmmm…so why is hubby coming all the way here…when he was all the way north? Hmmm…..maybe I can enlist his help with this wire issue….otherwise I may have to request help from the local expert….Joyce Hazelrig. She does 3D with style. BUT…first…..I really hope to figure it out myself, and stop playing learned helplessness, which I know I do at times. Uh…here he is. Gotta go then. Signing off from a very very soggy Noah’s Arts at 920 Main St, Bastrop, Tx….aka….. http://www.noahs-arts.com Later gators, have a great weekend…ARK…..random act of kindness…..GO!