I told you about my perceived failure at yesterdays end of the day emotions. That I was envious, or at the least…sad, that I didn’t make a sale and Komal made 5. What I noticed after some time had elapsed however,was that this was no ordinary emotional event. No sirree. I was dis-connected from my emotions. As I drove, and I wailed at the top of my lungs……yes, I really really release my sadnesses…..it felt funny. Stiff. The voice sounded a bit off as well, as I wailed. It was way late in the evening before I realized that it was not connected. I then analyzed it. It was a……….typical Sheri sadness response and release. It was typical, therefore, my body thought it was what I would do next. The new me, however, didn’t feel the need to cry, as I had said yesterday, I was really happy for him. But my mind didn’t want me to be. My mind wanted things as normal. I eventually got past it, actually, now that I think of it…I got past it when I had the realization that it was an unwanted….performed by rote….task. Wowza, yes, this gal, she is a changin.
The sick goat that appeared like he would survive….did not survive after all. But that’s not the bad part. The bad part is that they don’t allow us farmers anything to help relieve them of their suffering. When I checked on that baby…he was 4…but still my baby…..when I checked on him late last night, well………it was late, he was in the house…..many reasons not to shoot right then……but I will spare you the horror. Let’s just say he was suffering horribly. Actually, he wasn’t. He was basically in death mode, but when I asked hubby what to do, his suggestion was to move him. When I moved him, he woke up…came out of the death trance and THEN….he suffered. God did I FUCK up. AND…he was still alive come morning, upon which time he was put out of his ridiculously long and unnecessary misery. Believe you me…I was very angry with God last night. Told HIM this was totally unacceptable. Yes, I’m sparing you. So, ya, he’s finally gone now……and I still have no way to help next time this happens. I liked the method someone told me about…the car starter fluid…but others have said its inhumane. Someone…tell me a humane way…that isn’t a gun!!!! Thanks!
I bought a piece of particle board and had them cut it in half. I will lay a painting upon it, clip or staple it…and lean it on the easel….which will be sitting outside my door now….so people might see that there is another artist down the hall. They come in….go to his…buy his…..spend all their money….then…maybe…they might see that I’m there too, but just a few steps down. I took the dragonfly sketch down to the Robin and she approved it. There is a rose in it…I will have to improve on my rose skills right quick. I could show you the drawing sketch…but its fairly weak and it may not show. We’ll see.
Well, fun times at feeding. Love those goats. Such sweetie pateeties. The ex bottle baby still hangs around, as if somehow, miraculously…something will be divvied out, just for her. The little boys were out in the yard and were just layin around waitin for grains when I got back from town. I just adore them. Little Thor, still in the girls pen, was trying his best to mount any girl he could today. Me thinks he will be sheared with the last 1/3 of Squirrel…next up…..ya, with only one set of clippers now. Oh man. Not good. I have way too many goats to have one set of clippers. Well….guess I’ll cut this short today. Gotta do some thinkin. Lol, speakin of that….was driving home and was meditating……doing the Thinking kind….so, 15 minutes in…..I realize I’ve not meditated at all…the entire 15 min was spent…Thinking….lol. heheheeee. Ok…signing off at a still soggy YeeHaw Ranch. Also…..don’t forget….the website is here! Please, go check it out and lemme know what you think. If you can, please support my daughter, she has some beautiful works of art. Thanks for lookin!!! www.noahs-arts.com