self lovin…….and oodles a’learnin

As you all know, I LOVE my animals. But I haven’t had much LOVE for ME. So, I need to change that. Who is this wonderful person who loves animals so much? I like this gal who sings to her goats when they are in labor and who wails when they die. I like her words and I think she is and has been a writer extraordinaire. If I look truly at myself, I am good. Even though I know there is evil in the splitting of good vs bad….all are matter……….I am thrilled and proud of the courages I’ve shown. I have witnessed my valor umpteen times and my courage at crossing the border of a fear, over and over and over…..for the fear to still remain, yet I persevere and go forward.
I like the way that I think things through, trying to see as many possibilities as I can. I like that I can adjust my thinking. I like my strength. I can wrangle huge goats with a 3 ft horn spread and shear 3 goats when I’m devastated. I see what I have gone through, endured, survived and I have much admiration for my durability. I really enjoy being a writer and actually like reading my own work. I like my hands, they are small. I am really thrilled with the spiritual journey I have undertaken and am proud of me for sticking with it. It’s not always easy. It was definitely not easy in the beginning because what is now standard speak…was ridiculed not long ago. I like about me that I kept persisting in my request for a specialty. I like that I was patient enough to experience it. My art…..I’m referring to my art. Well folks……that’s a whole heap of likes, and I know there are tons more. I’m tired or I might could keep going. It’s 3:04am = 7 Holy!!! Good Holy Night my friends. Gallery tomorrow. IV appt. changed to Tuesday….but is initial visit, no IV that I know of. Ok….night.
The above is a beginning. I’m certain there are more things about me that I love, but hey, that’s all I could think of at the moment. I’m at the gallery today, and I brought my latest painting to work on. Summer came for a bit but decided she could get more done from the house. She is always on busy busy mode with the researching and finding beneficial things for me and herself as well. When I say busy, busy yes….fast? No. As she told me today….every thing she does is intentional. I for sure am not that evolved. Of course as her mother, I can tell ya, she too, is not perfect. Wonder why we even strive for it if it is unattainable. Nah, not really. Gotta try. Speaking of not perfect….lol, it’s so funny when a painting is in flux. For the longest time, this painting stood, far away so I could see. For days. Looked ok. When you start to add the details….whoa…….it’s so far off that it’s quite comical. So is watching me. I work on it….then jump up and set it on my spinning wheel in the corner across from me so I can stare and see what to fix. There, I took a photo. Now you will see. The far left of his head…….wowza… that the face line is in… you can see, too much neck. Not a problem. But funny.
My monk is here today. I told him I’m calling him that and he said that’s ok. He has asked Summer and I over for tea and healing. My fondness for this human is growing leaps and bounds. I dare say I love him already and have only known him a week. What can I say, when the connection is there….it is there. Also, he is personal friends with Amma and has invited us to another type of satsang in Austin. He doesn’t sleep and eats once a day. We were having a chat here in the gallery and I was working. He told me that the items I was using were alive. The foam, needle, fibers….and that as I was creating LIFE…..i was poking and causing pain. That all creation is born in pain. I had just been reading about that. Ha… can imagine… first thought was, I CAN”T paint anymore if I’m causing pain! No. Not the point. Point is…it is alive. Everything is alive. I recently began to consider that but no one else was saying it, so I wasn’t sure. It takes me to the movie…Phenomenon. When he is rolling the pencil or twirling the sunglasses in the air without touching….and they ask how…he says…well, I ask it to move for me. It’s rather like a partnership. I’ve played with it but with no success so far.
Well, we were able to catch the landlord before she ordered the door sign, to tell her of the name change. Yay. Also, the museum lady hadn’t updated the website yet so didn’t waste her time and got it changed out. Picked up the DBA yesterday. Need to do some things to bring attention to the gallery. It’s at the end of a hall. I’m thinkin of a banner to hang outside and still pondering the hall. The shop ahead of me has a mannequin there…something to let the people know that there is a shop down at this end. Or maybe a gallery sign that hangs outward from the wall at the door. You know…not flat, the other direction, so they can see it from way up front. I’ll take a photo. Just a plain boring hallway. I guess the good part tho is that I am painting again. I was working on the 3 owl painting when Summer found this space and with all the excitement and other emotions I can’t seem to name right now, I pretty much haven’t painted since. I posted one of my sacreds last night. The first one I’ve ever posted and not sure people liked it much. It matters not. It’s for my own personal prayer flag and I like it. It’s special and spiritual and Spirit had me paint him. I may show another tonight, but as my confidence is fairly low, I may not take the risk. Well folkie olkies. I am thrilled to be walkin the planet with ya. Remember, if inanimate things are alive… much more so are things that you KNOW are alive, eh? Love you guys. Signing off at Noah’….coming soon to an internet near you. Hehe…the gallery is not dot com but what the hay. Love love. (1,111 words)













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