to frame….or not to frame

An encounter with a retired monk….can twist the brain and squeeze it and expand it and shrink it. Expand only to shrink. Gosh. This enlightenment thing is more and better than I realized. It seems and feels so far away. Oh why can’t I just stay in the now? I want enlightenment and just the, mere fact of wanting it…makes me so NOT enlightened. The conversation was more than I could take in. My forgetful/full brain could not hold it all. His art is enlightenment. Well, as close as one can make an image of it. He explained many things, but right now, I’m centering on…. Sorrow. Pain, is a given he said. Pain is part of life….all creatures have it and experience it. It begins at birth. But suffering however, is not necessary. Only humans suffer because suffering comes from the mind. It is what I feel, how I feel, how she made me feel, how hot I feel, how angry I feel. Ya. Much to learn. More to share. It is, however, bedtime. I am so tired. Also, have not had enough water today and the meds insist on it, therefore when the typical non enlightened Sheri was disappointed that nothing sold…..and she cried….and now my nose is stuffed. I’ve been fighting a cold/flu for days now. Successfully fighting. I left the Vit C at the gallery tho! So, used the other kind…the one that saved my life in Virginia. The same one that saved all of Anahata when they had the whooping cough. Its different. Oily. Anyways, still feelin the nasal crap and still a bit of a nauseas belly. Oh ya, forgot I never blogged it. I did not sleep at all last night and woke feeling icky belly and nose running. Going to bed early…ya……1:49am = 5 = change. Ya baby. Night night folks!
Ye know, I’ve been too diverse. Too….jack of all trades, master of none. I’m watching a man do dough for noodles. He slaps it on the counter, lifts, slaps….adds flour…slaps. I’m thinking, he only knows how to do that, at what point he needs more flour, etc….cuz he’s done it so many times, that he just knows. I have split off my interests my whole life to the point that there are very few things I know how to do really really well. Speaking of knowing really well…..yesterdays conversation with the retired monk….Komal, has me very confused. Some of my beliefs have been rattled from the tree and I’m not sure which branches to trust or which leaves to save. I told him yesterday, I understand and I believe….it just is not within me to KNOW it yet.
Today I slept half the night and couldn’t sleep the 2nd half. Got the sniffles gone, then woke to nausea. Went to town for groceries and stuff and couldn’t eat the lunch I ordered. Not feeling great. Could be from easing off too far from my heavy duty meds….or could be something else. I mean….I couldn’t even eat my cookie!!!! What does that tell you??? Summer is on her way home from the gallery now. As hubby and I pulled in earlier, I spotted a white blob in the pasture. That my friends….means a dead goat. It was BIG Wyatt. The very first boy baby born here 7 years ago. He was the one I wished would go instead of others….cuz he was a bully….but its still sad to see him like this. Hubby thinks it was a snake….and saw him this morning alive. Dunno. Been raining bits off n on here, which can bring worms….they were just wormed but…oh who knows. He is gone. The past. I am trying so hard to understand all this enlightenment stuff. Some of it makes me angry and some I say….damn…don’t wanna do that! Yikes. Sometimes I feel like I’m sooooo close….and others….oh man, so far away…might as well be Jupiter.
Today I saw the little white cowbirds hanging out with the neighbors cows. Not in the typical way. Not standing there beside them while they graze…hoping to catch a fly…nope, this time…the cows were all laying down chillin….and the cowbirds were chillin with them. Truly connected, these critters are. Not just a symbiotic thing I’m thinkin. Also. There is a plumbing pipe that empties out into the yard and is sink runoff water. The yard animals use it as their water. Today, I saw the geese. They tend to horde the spot, but Geezer walked up and said….I’m thirsty….and they walked off and let him get a drink. Animals are more compassionate than humans sometimes.
So, I dunno. I told hubby at lunch when he suggested my illness was due to going on and off of that one medication. He thinks its my body not understanding. Summer thinks it could be a Herks(SP?) reaction. So, I told him….I guess what I’ve done is….I’ve chosen the gallery over my life. I’ve stopped taking the meds….to open a gallery. Hmmm. Hmmm. Just plain Hmmmm. There is one way around it…but of course….say it with me….it costs MONEY! I’m getting frustrated by a LOT of things. Ha…sun is shinin like crazy…rain!!! Lemme go get my rainbow. Got it!!! Guess that’s it for today. As you can see…. I have a few things on my mind. No mind. Not supposed to have a mind. #$%@&&* Ok……signing offffff at a wet YeeHaw Ranch with a dead goat in the pasture and an icky belly and a confused mind. Ps…..Summer ran the gallery….no sales. We shall be forced to frame. Uggh. Time to reframe the uggh word. Hugg. Yay. We get to frame the art!!!!!

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