wait…..don’t tear it up!!!

Been working on this tiger painting and I just said….uggh, I’m about 2 seconds from tearing this thing up! Summer grinned and said my exact thoughts….ya, that means you’re almost there!!! That is generally how it goes. When you want to tear it to shreds, it’s nearly ready!!! It’s very hot outside and the poor goats don’t quite know what to do with themselves. With alpacas you can hose their bellies to cool them off but not supposed to hose the goats.
I have so much on my mind…and I have the memory issue. But a lot of it is just….being human and being quiet or nice or respectful….whatever reasons we have for doing or not doing or saying or not saying things. That. I have a lot of that. I’m trying to learn from a video. I placed it on my FB page so I’d have access to it, and I play it over and over but not enough yet. Still not sunk in enough, so I will be playing it some more. I’m hungry. My first voice said…it’s not time yet. My second voice said…its your life. Live it. Eat if you want. Haha. There ya go, a part of one of my new philosophies that I have now remembered to tell you!!! Yay! I change daily. How bout you? Someone said something on my FB page today that took me by such surprise. She, Alana, posted: Hugging you lightly…you are in my heart throughout the day, what a treasure I get to hold. WOW. It never occurred to me that people think of me, the way I think about them. It never occurred to me that I was simply on someones mind. Ever really.
I still wanna go somewhere. Not sure how to rig that one. One day maybe. Obviously it’s on my mind though. I tried to meditate today…..two seconds later, Jesse woke up. Not his fault, but I have avoided meditating for so many years that I kinda need no sounds to even think about going nowhere with my thinking. I actually was gonna try today!!! It’s usually the animals. Like Smooch. She has finished her antibiotics and is still very stuffed up and makes the loudest ungodliest sounds. She just wants to be close to Mama all curled up. I just wanna paint or whatever and I keep having to put her off…then I get back and up she climbs and we do this over and over.
I guess I got the food thing under control. Now, I’ll just eat what I decide to eat and it should be ok unless the liver gets worse. Now that I went through that sugar kick. Sure, still eating too much but I can regulate it a bit now. Sometimes I can tell myself no and it’s not a problem but sometimes….whoa Nellie. Time is still so speeded up. The day is done before I even have breakfast and the week is…well, I’m way behind on what week it is or is supposed to be. I just experienced a Saturday town trip and have a feeling another will be here before I think it should. I gotta get back to this painting, it’s driving me nuts. So close. Ok….signing off early at YeeHaw Ranch. Nice and short for ya. But late, ha. Oh well……here is what I wrote for you last night….lol…the whole big lot of it!: Length of time that I can speak is really tiny. For some reason even the words the thoughts inside my head only have a set amount of time for them to be said in my head. My voice has slowed and changed to a quadrant type speech. No. Not the right word. Rigid, broken. Ok. Later!!!!!














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