My Miracle….

At some point, I’m gonna catch my breath…..and all of this is gonna sink in and I may rant and rave or scream and cry…not sure which but I’ve done so little of either that it can’t be healthy. Aren’t you supposed to have emotions when you’re told you’re gonna die? Aren’t ya supposed to break down? Throw a tantrum? Aren’t ya supposed to freak out for goodness sakes? I’ve had a few sad moments and angry emotions….but a whole shitpileload of happy, joy, awesome, compassion, love. I guess I did get a tiny bit angry today when I spoke of punching God in the belly. Do y’all have a relationship with God like that? Is he your friend? Mine is. There isn’t a thing I hide…ha, like we could. Nah….when I don’t like how things are goin, believe you me, I let it be known. And I’m all for saving my life, and willing to do hard stuff…..depending on which one I decide….every option is a hardship. It’s already a hardship. Did I want to stop drinking my beer? NO HELL NO! Did I want to quit cigarettes? Yes, sometimes….but damn!!!! And the food. Crimeny, the food. Y’all were there. It was ONE DAY I’m FINE…..the next day…..I’m DYING…..and that food will hurt you. THAT very day. I think a person needs to breathe. I don’t feel I got to breathe. My daughter bless her heart is/was so scared for me that … she just jumped all in….feet first and reaching for cures as the gravity commenced.
It goes way further than that on hardships were I to discuss the possibles. And boy oh boy, you guys…my friends…are so not silent! Boy howdy, I’ve gotten an earful of get to the hospital!!! I really do understand….but honestly…..I feel that if I did….I would NOT come out alive. Kinda makes the point moot, eh???? Beliefs are strong things. It is tightly bound energy…..like a bundle of sticks tied with a bow. Our core. Now, beliefs can change in a heartbeat mind you…..but once in station….they are rockhard and do not budge….until the right thing….the one right thing. I’m gonna try to wait. It’s a miracle. ON top of everything else, there were over 190 people praying for me!!!!! I feel so much better. Thanks to the vitamin C and the Ama Deus, I’m sure. How crazy is that, to have an offer of an energy healing….that is from the Amazon…right up my alley ye know. And…..LOVE. An Amazonian love energy. Hehe….just like Amma. So…here I am, feeling quite a bit better, like a true miracle folks. I really believe it happened so I’d quit smoking. Really. Shoot…I can’t even do the Amma meditation due to my lungs, well, not that part anyway.
I find myself editing some stuff out. Not all…but some. I don’t wanna hurt anyones feelings. Bet I’m not the first to feel this way, eh? Well….it’s bedtime. I’ve already had 2 cups of night night tea…that’s its name….and extra hops tincture. Fingers crossed with prayers…:+))11:22pm wow = 6 = Earth…yup that would be right here in the beautiful hills with the soft rain and the multitude of sparkling lights in the sky…at every height….even down by my feet. Night yall.
Today I received a full body deep tissue massage. I will make her a painting for it. Ya…I’m stackin up on painting orders I now owe. It was awesome. My whole body was a mess but there are 2 areas of severity. Glut/hip area and chest shoulder area. The glut/hip….she says I’m in the 5%…My sciatic nerve is inside the other main thingie that’s supposed to be next to it….not inside it….therefore the sciatic nerve has little protection. Could explain my muscle disease thing. Ok…that was so intense that for a bit….I couldn’t walk. My legs were jumpin. Hehe. Man she is such a beautiful being and she helped me so much…she did a full 2 hours!!! Next……I tried drinking water cuz I could tell I’m very dehydrated. Then to town for addiction acupuncture. In the ear? Not so fun. Then the health food store and the grocery store. I got me some diet popcorn!!! AND…..cashew ice cream…..no….I mean, they use cashews instead of milk…its vanilla ice cream. My first night night snack in forever. We shall see. Still drinking a ton of water which doesn’t feel like it. I’m so dry. Only a few more days here then we leave. Will be stopping at Colleens on the way…it’s a different route. Hope it’s not scary. Dear Colleen, keeps asking what can she have on hand. :=)
Today’s photos are of what I see everyday here. Laurelsongs paintings. She has one that I am in awe of…and then…so funny….she painted it again small, then painted herself standing in front of it! I like this lady!!! Howdy in heaven dearie!!! Ok…..I have something to say. I love you guys. I ask you to respect my choices. They may not always agree with your sense of what is smart or right…..they do however…resonate with me or I wouldn’t be doing it. Just spoke to my mother on the phone. She understood perfectly my rational for not going to the hospital. After all….it was her mom who died from staff after entering one. So….please. Love me but don’t cause me to feel ignorant. I’m not. Quite a bit of wisdom in these here tiny bones. Hehe…I need new underwear….mine want to fall off me when I wear a skirt, which I now do quite a bit. Ok….48 hours no sleep……..chamomile has been procured…yay, hoping…and rescue remedy…and catnip just in case. Still no cigarettes either….48 hrs. Not really an issue at the moment. So…..doing good. Yes, we had a scare……I handled it. Love you!!!!! Signing off at firefly haven…….!!!

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