I don’t like limbo. I want to know one way or the other and have not enough patience for times of limbo. Yet…..here I am….just layin on a cloud, my feet up and watching the world go by. The world tastes different. Smells different. Looks and acts different. Yet…it is not. I am different. I am a new me. I don’t like this one. Maybe on another day I will, but today is all I have. I don’t like the scenario for the end of my own movie. Did I really write this script? Why? It wasn’t very nice of me to do that to me. I guess 38 years of hell wasn’t enough. And the emptiness of this kind of marriage….nope, not enough! Now I get to choose between living as I know it, with all it’s joys and sorrows….or living with not much joy. Not sure I like the tradeoff. Selfish? Probably. Be patient Sheri. Gotta learn that somehow. The ducks may be off on their own agendas…some swimming, some eating, some sleeping, some getting lost……but they will all eventually get in a row, right???
So, for me, it’s the same day as when I posted. I’m still having a bad day. Don’t worry, they won’t all be like this. It’s a process. I’ve gone through quite a few stages already…right now…I’m in the negative on HOPE. These things fluctuate. But at this moment…I’m not in a good space. I’m feeling trapped. I so dislike feeling trapped. Feeling the call of Grandmother Ayahuasca to free me. It’s one of those things that Spirit puts in front of you and you can’t let go. Liver flush first though. Liver flush, milk thistle, warm lemon water upon waking to get the bile going…bile is a good thing…who knew? Sleeping herbs to eliminate beer. Vitamin C…gosh….can’t really go there yet, but some can’t hurt I guess. Gosh…I’m probably boring you guys to tears. But I will not rest until I convince you all of the liver cleanse. It’s supposed to heal the body of so many things. Gotta do it very soon. If it don’t work…believe me…convincing done and we be outta there. Strength. Need strength. Of mind and body…and will. Time for this girly to sleep. Night night sweet folk! 3:52am = 1 = Beginnings!!!!
Oh gosh!!! Bad day yesterday, eh? Day not so bad actually, just my attitude. I got scared. I’m much better today mindwise. Not freaking. Calm. Mailed the buffalo painting to my mom that she wanted and been painting all day. Oh ya…also been watching and reading the muck from what has been happening in one of the goat groups. Like to watch catfights???? It’s horrible, yet it will keep happening until something is done to fix the issues. And boy are there issues. It all has to do with registering the goats. Which registry? And should there be 2? No. But there are and it causes all sorts of problems. People are leaving the group and being banned from the group…..posts are being deleted. Politics at their best, eh????? Maybe that’s why I don’t register. Nah…I just hate paperwork. But if I did register….I’d be one hoppin mad lil lady!!!
It rained this morning. Wet goats abound!!! Probably feels good in this heat. Will have to watch for signs of sick goats now. About to go feed them now and see whats up. Hubby is smooth freakin out cuz one of the cc charges from Yellow Rose was an error…a $2000 error!!!!! Lady is not home yet! Yikes! Hmmm….a few updates. Sneezy kitty is still living outside and lovin it! Took him a day of fear…that’s it. 2nd day, up and running. Even being brave and coming out with us sometimes. Also….today I saw Miracle Johnny Five, the fake DNA baby goose…..swimming!!! Hehe…these are the most dedicated of parents. That baby is always inbetween them. LOL, and the baby gives daddy whatfor!!! How cute. The zinc in the wheat germ stuff did its trick. Checked Star today, who had the worst case of dry winter skin…yay…all better. I don’t know about others, but it only affects the goats here down the backline. There is also zinc in the all stock mineral block which I have now added.
Haha….boy do I have a well rounded blog or what? Talked of life and death….of art…..of politics….goat meds and spirituality. Oh…did I not talk of spirituality today? Here ya go: What you knew before…is still true, to that you……what you know now….is the only truth that matters. Hehe…just coined that one for ya! See??? I am in better spirits! Last night, it was all I could do to hold myself back from reaching into that new bin full of rainbowy alpaca flat batts…and starting something….alas, it was already 4am and I needed sleep. The whimsy factor on the new totem painting…….has proven more difficult than imagined. I will not give up. I will keep on…tear off…keep on…tear off…till it gets there right. But it is coming along. It’s at around 38-40 hours right now so far. Lots still to go. It’s on tonights agenda.
I have determined that I am not liver friendly. I don’t eat ANY of the foods that the liver wants. I’ve learned so much. I saw today someone asking on FB about their allergy and what could they do about it…Grace….it was you. I almost commented cuz my brain immediately said…well, why doesn’t she do liver cleanses until the allergy is gone? Heheheeeee. See? I be learning. Ok…back to the food. Well, liver friendly foods are……veggies, some fruits, seeds…..and that’s pretty much it. A few fish I don’t eat…..and chicken is allowed. But probably not how I cook it. So…my new wish theory is……maybe I can eat what I like…and be a perpetual liver cleaner for life?????? I’m game! Anyway…it’ll all work out as its supposed to. Destiny, fate, divine plan….highest good…..yup….it’s all good. Someone smarter than me, with more info than me…is writing the BIG script….I’ll just pay attention to what my part is. Okie dokie. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch. Don’t forget…..being Fresh Pressed here on WordPress is on my BucketList!!! Holler at em if ya want! Later gator. Oh my a definite PS!!!! The politics just got uglier and away we go!!! Will tell ya tomorrow…or ask to join the group: I want to discuss the registry issues with angora goats GROUP. Until tomorrow then!!!.