Tonight, one of my readers commented about love. This got me to thinkin. Let’s analyze Love…for Sheri. As a child, my dad left. My sister and I didn’t get along too well. Then my mom remarried. That man didn’t like me neither did his 2 daughters. Oh, Freddie did eventually maybe and Beth calls sometimes….but oh wait…don’t forget, when I was 19, I wrote a letter to my parents asking why they never told us they love us. EVER. My first husband married me cuz I was pregnant…but he didn’t want a baby and when I lost it….he then didn’t wanna have sex. My second….was very abusive. I had 3 friends as a child. Jeena, JoAnn and Dana. That’s it. Oh…Cathy Cerrone as a very young child. Later there was Susan who tried her best to take care of the broken me…but she had issues of her own. Then my parents took my baby, little Jesse. Stripjoints, internetmodeling and then a new marriage. A marriage of convenience. A marriage to shelter my broken soul. Which worked. My soul did indeed heal and thrive. Until here recently. Wow. I thought this would be a long topic…but in the end…not much. I also have Cathy…my neighbor. So….love. Hmmm. Guess I don’t really know a whole lot about it. Wait….Loving…….Loving I know. It’s being loved that is a stranger to me. I’m not used to it. I used to tell people it was impossible to love me….they were wrong if they thought they did. Ha…some didn’t appreciate being told they were misguided.
So, a family that didn’t much love me and still….well, pretty much still doesn’t. 3 husbands that did not look anything like love…..and a few assorted friends along my 52 years. Then I meet all you people. Most of you are fairly fictional. I mean…I haven’t met you in person, have no clue what most look like, sound like, live like…anything. But yet…..I feel loved by y’all. Loved by invisible people. Well, it’s better than not being loved at all!!!! I can guaranfriggintee you that. I guess the obvious question would be…why wasn’t I loved. Lemme think on that. I played alone and my sisters didn’t want me there cuz I was the “little sister”. I don’t think it really goes further than that with them. The parents? Well…..i guess their parents? Not sure….cuz my PapPap loved me. I dunno…how do you go a day without telling your baby you love them???? I don’t know. If they’re here….I tell em. Damnit….I dunno why I wasn’t loved. Maybe since I didn’t think I was worthy or didn’t think people could…..I created it. Must be….since that is my belief system.
As for touch……which all humans need. I guess I fill that nutritional need with my animals. 7 cats, a dog, 4 LGD dogs, and 50 or so goats. I get my love from them. Maybe most of you are right. Maybe it’s the winter….and I’m not with them much due to the cold. Maybe come spring this thing will fall off me like the suit I said it was. Ok…quick goat update…..drove Jesse to the bar in 32 degree rain, then pulled around and gave the girls more extra hay…to entice them to stay at the houses. Heard cries from the bigboy pen and thought Einstein was down again. Went to see and nope……they all just wanted to tell me it was cold. :=))) Came back and….saw a very startling thing…….hubby wearing his coat, putting his gloves on. He was gonna help me!!!!!!! Oh MY GOSH!!!!!!!!! Stunned and very very pleased. On that note…..night night. We got bad weather so I have nothing to do so blogging is easy. I’m not painting either at the moment. I did paint a tiny owl for someone and will paint 3 more…I’ll tell ya later. Night. 2:23am = 7 = HOLY.
Yup, very strange night here. Thunderstorms, lightning, rain, ice. Come 5am, hubby says the real ice arrived. Hanging from everything and very large. I saw some still hanging on the chicken coop when I got up late. It’s thawed now, but it will repeat tonight then warm up some. Will attempt to shear tomorrow by myself, then with Cathy on Thursday and Friday. Gotta play catch up from the weather. Was gonna crutch them but they all need fleeces off so…..since everyone has lived through these cold rough days even when sheared…..I’m gonna go ahead and do full shears on the rest. These will survive too. See….my thinking is….if I just crutch them and leave the rest of the fleece on….then sure, the baby can reach the teats and get milk….but the mom will be warm in her full fleece and the baby will have no fleece so…….she doesn’t realize how cold the baby might be. If she’s cold, she’ll know the baby is cold.
When the weather is like this….I don’t go out there. If I do…they all come out. They think I have food. Having to wait till the now later feed time for kidding season,(so they don’t give birth at night)….well, it sucks. Well, it’s the weather that sucks. If the weather was good I could be over there anytime. …feed or no feed. I could be making the greenie rounds with them and snapping photos as I go…which I will be doing very soon.
Well….I made the rounds. Got to check a few girls and wala…udders! Might be having more than I figured. Even Lila has one! She nearly died from the barberpole worm last year…so close to death…and now she’s beautiful and will have a baby very soon! But speaking of death….the suffering elder doe is finally not suffering. A little late but I’ll say Thank you God anyways. That raises another problem. That leaves only one lone doe in that pen. A lonely goat is not good. Can’t put her with the girls yet cuz she’s not completely well. Have a pregger that now has mites but don’t wanna move her out of the kidding group yet. Yikes. Poor girl is standing there shivering and I don’t think its from the cold. She’s alone. What to do, what to do. Don’t worry…I’ll figure something….most likely….I’ll move Bentley with her. Ya….best option. If a baby is bred…a bonus. Oh ya…Lila being bred…gives me another possibility to get red! Yay!!! (She’s Lily’s twin…Lily was my only red doe and I sold her before I discovered I could paint. Ok……hehe….3 blogs in a row. Like I said…bad weather. It should improve and the blogs will thin some. Love you guys. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.
Ps…..RIP Hannah….mother of Angel…and many many others at other farms.