a hesitant blog….

I saw and felt the depression coming. Not just coming…but here. It had been here for quite some time, disguising itself as tiny depressions. No, it was just the buildup. I’m really not sure where I am in it at the moment. I’ve been on the ShearMadness high…the tv show about sheep and goats….and it finally finally premiered…..oh how awesome. I’m love drunk with it. This will bring so much awareness to our farms….our fiber…our livelihood. Me, of course, not so much…cuz I’m so reluctant to sell anything. The fiber cuz of the lice and the VM……and the goats cuz I love them and don’t want them to go. I did hear a potential secret for the lice on the show…well, afterwards on the SpreeCast which happened immediately afterwards. Yellow sulfur blocks. I’d heard about it…now I will definitely try it. To sit here….and see someone other than myself wrangle sheep…or goats…is phenomenal. It gives me new life. I hope I don’t go careening back down the hill….but I am definitely lifted now. It feels like I’m outta the hole, the pit of depression but I can’t be certain yet. Not till this excitement subsides. I didn’t tell you how bad it was. I was just tired of constantly saying I was sad. So I quit talking. I’m still not going back to daily though. It takes up too much of my life….as much as I love it….and I do. I blog in my sleep, in my wake….all the friggin time. I did chart some of what I was going through…cuz I just had to. Had to write. Had to chart it. Not all…but I can finish it out….trust me…I remember. Well….goodnight folks. Good to talk to ya. 1:51am = 7 = HOLY. Night night.

Another morning waking with no tears. Yes. Another cold front…NO!!!! yes, unfortunately. It is bitterly cold here. Way colder than the predictions. When I check the temp….it’s about 10 degrees lower than what they thought it would be at that time. And it’s raining. And I’ve sheared so many. And I don’t have a barn. Einstein is still in trouble. Given him about all the wormer I can for now but he keeps downing himself. I’ll shear him when weather permits to see if maybe there’s something going on under the fur that I can’t see. And Hannah. Hannah has decided she wants to die. She watched first Hope, and then Mahada die and she hasn’t eaten. She refuses. As Natalie said in her show….a good shepherdess won’t let an animal suffer. She/he will put the animal down. I am apparently a lousy shepherdess. I can’t do it. I did it once….Jesse did it the 2nd time and it was worse than the 1st. I’m crying again but not from depression…I’m crying cuz I feel so bad for her. I wish Jesse was here so he could do it. It’s so cold. Makes me think I should get outta this business….but it’s my life.

Ok…so not everybody loved the show. I don’t think there’s a tv show or movie yet that the entire planet agrees is good, but I didn’t expect this. No goat breeder or sheep breeder does things exactly like another….as in life. We are unique people with unique setups and unique circumstances. No two do things exact. Many in the angora goat industry do things I don’t like or approve of, but I try not to judge. Even when I hear of lies and cheating…….I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. What could their reason be? Point is….nobody agrees on all things. That said………maybe we don’t approve of everything a person does but that doesn’t make them wrong or bad. For example. Next weeks previews alluded to possibly dehorning angora goat babies. Now, that is generally frowned upon in the angora world. I don’t know for certain that is what she’s dehorning, but if she does…that could raise some eyebrows. Oh…as an aside, while waiting for the show to start last night, I watched Dr. Pol. They dehorned an adult goat and it was excruciating for the goat. I’ve since read up on it. Says there is no way to desensitize the horn area and the goat feels it all. Hmmmm. But specifically angora goats, well, they have fiber and the horns regulate their temperature. All that hair….heat and cold…….ya, need horns. So, how would that make me feel if she did it? I dunno. Will I stop watching if she does? Heck no. Who am I to judge her??? Maybe I shouldn’t be saying any of this. Maybe I should not be blogging. I am upset though. The words came from someone I know. Someone I care about. Someone highly respected in the fiber world. Makes me sad.

I have no real photos for you. It’s been raining and miserable for days….and, well, I just haven’t taken many. Sochi is shooting up so tall…..and eating grass now. The sheared girls are all shivering. Well…..not exactly a dandy blog to write…but hey…I wrote one. I’m tryin folks, I’m tryin. Signing off….

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4 thoughts on “a hesitant blog….

  1. what method did Dr Pol use? Being a diary goat breeder – I do de-horn. In the beginning I SWORE I would never do it. I fought tooth and nail against it. Then things changed. Reality of the economics of breeding, selling and milking finally hit me and I had to learn how.
    My 2 angoras – NO WAY. But it is just my way…to do one breed, but not the other.
    I have heard of many people who band horns on adult goats. I have seen them with bands on and they were fine. No discomfort and little to no bleeding when the horn came off. I have yet to try it even though I have 2 LaManchas that need it. I am still unsure…
    Goat folks are WONDERFUL! But that being said, they are OPINIONATED!haha (even me!)
    We have been left to make our own way with our animals as so few educated vets exist. I am lucky to live near Langston University and the Goat Research Dept. I have 2 of their staff on speed dial =)
    But even with that, I have been incorrectly advised. I have had deeply loved animals die in my arms while following a vets advice (advice that was WAY off base!) only to have a goat “person” tell me what to try and have it work (sigh)
    Also, there is the human tendency to be jealous. Women especially (when did we lose sisterhood!) when the other woman is beautiful (as in the case of Shear Madness).
    Rest well my beautiful friend…and may you one day see what I see in your words and life – when you look in the mirror

    • Ahhh that was beautifully put…all of it. Ya, what did happen. Oh ya. Men. :=))). Love you!!!! Thanks for your wisdom! Hugs

      Sheri Lee…….Sent by Fairy Dust from YeeHaw Ranch

  2. BTW, regarding depression… Have you noticed that different cannabis creates different effects? Have you changed what you use lately? and have you ever tried to consume instead of smoking?

    • I’ve tried consuming yes. No. I’ve tried vape, 2 kinds. I get brickweed. All that’s around until here lately. Hmmm. Hmmm. :))

      Sheri Lee…….Sent by Fairy Dust from YeeHaw Ranch

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