Warriors. I wonder what makes the warrior mentality. I wonder what made men stand in rows and charge towards each other. Or stand and kill everything that comes near you, as they do in the movies…you stand your ground, the area around you and when you’re done, the enemy lays at your feet in a circle around you. Is that a warrior? Readiness to die? I’m thinking…..mothers would make most excellent warriors. Or friends of loved ones missing. Or friends of animals….all of these…are people. Regular joes, who do their part to help a cause. They try. They give it a go. Peta, greenpeace, friends of the dolphins….all of these people are warriors. So many I couldn’t begin to count. Friends of the Amazon, feed the children, give clean water to the children, free the slaves, give new smiles to malformed faced children, stop Monsanto, so many many many. All warriors. All colors. All Rainbow Warriors. We are the prophecy. What say you….shall we inherit the earth?
A man could spend his whole life looking for the perfect blossom and it would not be a wasted life. From the movie…The Last Samurai. That’s definitely not an American way of thinking. Here, we have rules. Grow up, get a job, get a house, get a wife, have a few kids, use the supermarket, buy at Walmart, retire with no money and die poor and abused. I think somebody sold us a stinky bill of goods! That ain’t no way to live! Oh, and at the end of the movie as the man is taking his last breath…he sees that tree and all the blossoms….and says…..perfect…they are ALL PErFECT. Pretty heavy duty, eh??? That says to me….that as he glimpses the next life….he realizes that every life here on earth is perfect as it is…even the bad guys have purpose. Every blossom is perfect. Every human, is….as created. Kinda like in the movies….they cast the characters and the character must stay true to its character.
I didn’t paint tonight. Still in the…artist is freakin out cuz she doesn’t know what to paint mode. It’s a critical thing. Lol. I need that one…well, I’ve been using the word, why not…one…PERfeCt idea. Or photo. Oh dear…I gots to sleep. Nightie night people. 2:55am = 3 = HOLY.
There are times when I wish I wasn’t a blogger. When I just want to curl up in my hole and yell….leave me alone! Leave me alone is what I say to myself when I’m crushed. For whatever reason, I’m down and flat and crying…leave me alone. Isn’t that funny? It’s always been that way. That’s what I whisper to myself with anger!!! Nobody is there, yet I yell it. Today is a day of disappointments. Little ones to most people….but they accumulate and hurt me. I am embarrassed as well. All that talk about the Renaissance….and it was for naught. I was probably full of myself anyway….but I just wanted to ask if I could have a blanket spot. That’s all. A blanket. I could put the art out there….and they’d expect me next year. I’m feeling stupid and inadequate.
So many things. My son didn’t take the trash out last week, so it sat in the house for a whole week. Last night, he decides they are too heavy to carry…you carry one!!! Instead of making 2 trips….no, he wants his mom to get her coat on and go haul trash at midnight. I didn’t, and he didn’t. He carried what he could carry in one trip. The end. Today, I had to drive him to the bar. Come feeding time…there is no feed at the Boys station. He was supposed to carry feed sacks to my stations and fill me up for when he’s not here. Nope. Only filled 2 stations. Didn’t give hay. Didn’t go get me hay before he went to the bar. He has no problem working well for others….except for me. Fast short, quick as can get it done, who cares if it’s right….but at work…he prides himself on his excellent work ethic. I’m bewildered. And once again…..I’m trying to figure out if I could live completely without goats. Even Cathy isn’t available anymore it seems….and I’m approaching an end game. Always thought I would keep a few. So disgusted with my life right now that I don’t even know if I would do that. Joy. What a whirling dervish that is….or maybe like a bumble bee…..elusive and catchable but then it stings you and flies away. I started another painting. An angry painting. No, it’s an owl….but I am angry. So disgusted that I HAD to paint something. Also embarrassed that I posted the fairy child on FB. Stupid. It’s not good. I wanted it to be. Oh man…yes I am frustrated and in a very bad mood. See….a person shouldn’t blog when in this mood….but this blog is expected….by a couple people. People who don’t like it when it doesn’t show up. I am considering returning to my hermitness. I’m having a bad day so I’m ending this to shut me up. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.