even Warriors have bad days…..

Warriors. I wonder what makes the warrior mentality. I wonder what made men stand in rows and charge towards each other. Or stand and kill everything that comes near you, as they do in the movies…you stand your ground, the area around you and when you’re done, the enemy lays at your feet in a circle around you. Is that a warrior? Readiness to die? I’m thinking…..mothers would make most excellent warriors. Or friends of loved ones missing. Or friends of animals….all of these…are people. Regular joes, who do their part to help a cause. They try. They give it a go. Peta, greenpeace, friends of the dolphins….all of these people are warriors. So many I couldn’t begin to count. Friends of the Amazon, feed the children, give clean water to the children, free the slaves, give new smiles to malformed faced children, stop Monsanto, so many many many. All warriors. All colors. All Rainbow Warriors. We are the prophecy. What say you….shall we inherit the earth?

A man could spend his whole life looking for the perfect blossom and it would not be a wasted life. From the movie…The Last Samurai. That’s definitely not an American way of thinking. Here, we have rules. Grow up, get a job, get a house, get a wife, have a few kids, use the supermarket, buy at Walmart, retire with no money and die poor and abused. I think somebody sold us a stinky bill of goods! That ain’t no way to live! Oh, and at the end of the movie as the man is taking his last breath…he sees that tree and all the blossoms….and says…..perfect…they are ALL PErFECT. Pretty heavy duty, eh??? That says to me….that as he glimpses the next life….he realizes that every life here on earth is perfect as it is…even the bad guys have purpose. Every blossom is perfect. Every human, is….as created. Kinda like in the movies….they cast the characters and the character must stay true to its character.

I didn’t paint tonight. Still in the…artist is freakin out cuz she doesn’t know what to paint mode. It’s a critical thing. Lol. I need that one…well, I’ve been using the word, why not…one…PERfeCt idea. Or photo. Oh dear…I gots to sleep. Nightie night people. 2:55am = 3 = HOLY.

There are times when I wish I wasn’t a blogger. When I just want to curl up in my hole and yell….leave me alone! Leave me alone is what I say to myself when I’m crushed. For whatever reason, I’m down and flat and crying…leave me alone. Isn’t that funny? It’s always been that way. That’s what I whisper to myself with anger!!! Nobody is there, yet I yell it. Today is a day of disappointments. Little ones to most people….but they accumulate and hurt me. I am embarrassed as well. All that talk about the Renaissance….and it was for naught. I was probably full of myself anyway….but I just wanted to ask if I could have a blanket spot. That’s all. A blanket. I could put the art out there….and they’d expect me next year. I’m feeling stupid and inadequate.

So many things. My son didn’t take the trash out last week, so it sat in the house for a whole week. Last night, he decides they are too heavy to carry…you carry one!!! Instead of making 2 trips….no, he wants his mom to get her coat on and go haul trash at midnight. I didn’t, and he didn’t. He carried what he could carry in one trip. The end. Today, I had to drive him to the bar. Come feeding time…there is no feed at the Boys station. He was supposed to carry feed sacks to my stations and fill me up for when he’s not here. Nope. Only filled 2 stations. Didn’t give hay. Didn’t go get me hay before he went to the bar. He has no problem working well for others….except for me. Fast short, quick as can get it done, who cares if it’s right….but at work…he prides himself on his excellent work ethic. I’m bewildered. And once again…..I’m trying to figure out if I could live completely without goats. Even Cathy isn’t available anymore it seems….and I’m approaching an end game. Always thought I would keep a few. So disgusted with my life right now that I don’t even know if I would do that. Joy. What a whirling dervish that is….or maybe like a bumble bee…..elusive and catchable but then it stings you and flies away. I started another painting. An angry painting. No, it’s an owl….but I am angry. So disgusted that I HAD to paint something. Also embarrassed that I posted the fairy child on FB. Stupid. It’s not good. I wanted it to be. Oh man…yes I am frustrated and in a very bad mood. See….a person shouldn’t blog when in this mood….but this blog is expected….by a couple people. People who don’t like it when it doesn’t show up. I am considering returning to my hermitness. I’m having a bad day so I’m ending this to shut me up. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.

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7 thoughts on “even Warriors have bad days…..

  1. Sorry you are having one of those “need to be a recluse” moments, welcome to my world. Which goat is that with the PLF yellow 1211 tag? Is that Smurf? Or is it PTF on her tag? she is lovely, not as cute as your pintos but…

    • I seem to be having lots of bad days lately. :((( umm that is Smurf and its PTF Persimmon Tree Farm…go figure! No. Not as cute as the pintos but nice. I’m sorry you’re down. :((( huggs

      Sheri Lee…….Sent by Fairy Dust from YeeHaw Ranch

  2. We all have those days when we would rather just hide and be left alone by the world so we can just curl up and feel sorry for ourselves. That’s not living though. All I have to do is look at the faces of the refugee Afghan children in Pakistan to be reminded why aren’t we seeing the faces of our own children in this country, hungry with the look of no tomorrow. We hear instead of CYFD and police reports, that just diffuse the true state of homelessness here. We have our own refugees in this country and they are all born here in the US.

    We are so lucky. We have food in the fridge, running cold and hot water, a good roof over our heads, we have our goats and they have good food, shelter and somebody that loves and cares for them. We have more than the rest of the world and yet we complain. Sometimes things happen for a reason and its one of those things that we learn along the way when we have known hardship. When those not so good things happen, we pull our boots on and muck barn or do feet or, or, or until that thing we are looking for presents itself.

    Don’t give up mamasheri. Just like I’ve had a dream for 15 years and because of my goats it is happening, your dream is just waiting to happen. Let it and once you have, you can help the world like you would like to. it’s that easy.

  3. I am always impressed that you write every day regardless if you are up or down. I do not do that and I believe I would feel better if I did. Once you are on your way back up again, do you think having blogged is part of the climb out?

    • Sometimes the blogging does help me out of my hole. And sometimes it makes it worse. Then I’m like…gee, they get to listen to me whine again. I’m Very grateful that you..acknowledged that I write regardless. It’s not easy. Thank you!

      Sheri Lee…….Sent by Fairy Dust from YeeHaw Ranch

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