It’s nearly 3am and the celebration is over. There really wasn’t one though. I watched movies…and yes, I finally veered away from the Christmas movies. We rolled a joint from roaches and did the best we could. Jesse’s walking around with his kitten on his shoulder…where she seems to be the most comfortable. I didn’t watch the ball drop this year…first time I can remember. In fact…it didn’t even occur to me. Oh ya!!! I drew a sketch! For the Mary painting!!! I’m so excited! Oh Lordie! I hope…I pray…I intend…that I pull it off…as it is intended. As the spirits join with me and we cocreate. This is the type of painting I used to do with oil. But better. I’m better. My art is changing rapidly. This is not a photo painting where I copy exactly….this is from the mind. My mind, as eccentric as it is. I like my eccentric mind. It’s one of my better qualities. That, and I think…..compassion. This is a painting of Mary. Mother. It combines people, animals and spirit. It’s been swirling in my psyche for weeks now. Waiting. Looking. Thinking. Precreating.
There’s a difference between drawing a sketch and making a successful painting. For me at least. But…I remember how it came together, exactly…..and as long as I get the colors right…it should work. It should be paintable. Oh golly this is exciting. I told ya I was bored with them. That’s what was wrong! Bored I tell you! Yes…I proved to myself that I could do it and I can still do it….but this…this from my mind…a message from my soul….thats what the artist in me wants. Not just a duplication of what I see. More like…what I see in my minds eye…what I want to say…to tell the world…to shout to the world. Maybe I should show you again some of my old paintings. The better ones are in Virginia…..safe? Who knows. But I have some. The fun has returned….and believe you me people….fun is necessary. It’s unexplainable for me…I’ve tried….but the moment the gallery guy told me I had to frame…it ceased being fun and became work. YUK. But….now, I’ve somehow done the unthinkable….I’ve created something worthy of painting….with just my mind. Oh sure…I googled each critter that I needed to for a second, but no biggie. I’ll use them again for the painting, so I know the colors and details. Like I said…I been playing around with this for weeks…but it all came together tonight. Brilliantly, I might add! Ok…enough bragging….night night sweet ones. 3:29am = 5 = change!!!! Yay! Ha! Yay!
And the painting has begun. I already am wondering how to pull it off….but I’m in the very very beginning stages. Ran to town for juice and cigarettes…and a gift from a friend to help me get through till I find some meds. Big huge relief. Came home, fed, and went straight to painting. I will pull this off. I WILL. I’m friggin determined! Will be my hardest yet, I believe but then…that’s what I seem to thrive on. The harder the better. Whats up with that?????? I’m saying all this to psyche myself out…or up or something, cuz whoa….a challenge extrordinaire. Wish me luck and skill?!!!
I haven’t heard back from Jane so at this moment, I don’t know if we’re going to pick up Smurf tomorrow. Guess I better chat with hubby and give her a call. It will require an early wakeup….which is really rough for me these days….seeing as I rarely go to sleep before 4am. Tonight I’ll be painting and it will be no different. Ok…donesky. Tomorrow after lunch and I get to tour her ranch! Yay! I love seeing how other folks do it….and believe me…..we all do it different. This will be fun. Ha…and the baby will be due first of February, so I will get an early baby after all. Oh yay…..except for the cold…..but yay!!! Oh crap….issue at Jesse’s work and I gotta run him there to discuss it. Gotta go! Signing off in 2014 at YeeHaw Ranch. Don’t forget to wish me the skill to pull this off please!!!!