I guess I’m gonna talk cuz that’s what I do. I was so disgusted that I almost kept the laptop closed. But I’m a writer, among other things, and I write about my life. My life at this very moment is not a happy one. I’m very disappointed. I guess I have too much faith. Or not enough. I really don’t know. My paintings are too expensive to buy at $500…..and it turns out….Native Americans are too expensive to buy help for…at twenty bucks. I really don’t know what to do with this information. Twenty bucks. Twenty bucks caused people to avoid me like the plague. First time in nearly EVER….not one person liked my blog link. Not one. I posted it twice. Not one. I was avoided. The cause was avoided. A few of my friends shared the link and I so thank you for that. Total amount raised on the Grand Opening of the site? 0……………….0 dollars. That’s zero. Honestly…if I could sell the paintings and give them that, I would….but since nobody seems to have that amount of money………shit. Just shit. What now? Quit? No. Screw that. I’m keepin on. I’ll just hang onto and stack em up…someday someone will want them. But that doesn’t help the Elders one little bit.
I really don’t know what to say. I’m as shocked as I was at the Kid n Ewe. Doesn’t anyone see the value in these paintings? Doesn’t anyone see the value in these PEOPLES???? Gosh, I feel sick. I should stop now. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Goodnight my sweet friends and readers. 1:46am = 11 = Master number. Maybe they don’t know how to buy a raffle ticket? I’ll fix this…I will find a way to make this good for them. Ya…..I just need to do better. It’s not adequate. Sorry bout the rant…but hey…it’s my blog and I’ll rant if I want to….you would cry too, if it happened to you! Hehe…old song lyrics. Baby Sneezy jumped onto the new kittens box and laid down. They laid there most of the latter part of the evening till Jesse came for Sneezy. I just love animal relationships. At one point tonight, Cocoa was laying completely across Mocha. My Mocha Latte. Of course as usual….Jess calls her Queen and hubby calls her Fluffy. I can’t win with names these days. Night night again….3:16am = 1 = Beginnings.
Woke up this morning and went right to work on a buy now button…to buy the $20 ticket. A big headache and a phone call later to Paypal and if I had continued on….I believe the problem would have been solved. Seconds away from posting it….my son wakes up, comes downstairs, sees my face and says….NO. We need to cancel the raffle. Keep the fundraiser, cancel the raffle. You need to wait till more people know who you are. He was right. As much as I hate to admit it….I am not known to many and as Jesse put it…..you’ll raise much more for them…later, after you get going a bit. Maybe a year from now. As it stands……I was avoided. No matter how I try to pretty that up for myself…..it is still a fact. A very upsetting fact. I’m sorry to have asked for twenty bucks. Maybe I shoulda asked for a dollar. Then maybe I wouldn’t be sitting here feeling like a heel and a complete failure. But hey….it’s all goooddddddddddddddddddddd. SOOOOOOOOOO…………………………………..anyone got any hats or scarves to keep them warm? I’ll pay some of Wandas electric bill myself…..can’t pay it all, but I can pay a hundred and that leaves her needing $82. Plus boy child clothing size 6-8 and shoe/boot size 2.
I don’t have anything else to say. Oh ya, theres this. I thought Thanksgiving was tomorrow and I’d forgotten the turkey. Even though I plan to eat my food this year, with thoughts of the Natives, and not the white stealer/killers………I knew I had to make the meal. So, we drove back again to town for a turkey and pie and such. That’s how messed up I am. Ok….signing off at YeeHaw Ranch…with a fresh turkey in the fridge.