I feel different. Changed. Not sure when it happened, but I definitely feel it. I can’t even pinpoint what is different yet. A shortness. A disgust with trivialities. A hurry. An overwhelmedness. A slight disconnect. Ok…a disconnect. I guess I did sorta pinpoint it after all, eh? My writing feels different too. I dunno. I’m just feeling at odds. Wiggly, in the mud. Still up though…I know I know….I’m making no sense. It’s layers. Layers of emotions, layers of life. Stacking and stacking. And where’s the dang truck??? I’m getting ticked. Where’s the dang truck? They needed the elusive parts…got em, what, 2 months ago or more!!! That’s just one of my frustrations and issues. Lately, I go to bed around 3am, wake at 11 am still, but don’t sit till 8pm. I don’t remember ever being so busy in my life with no evidence really that I’ve done a thing. I’m feeling a frustration too…but that shouldn’t be new. It’s not new, it’s just building. Stacking.
My creative side is at war it seems. Bigger than usual that is. One of me says I can do this and the paintings are good…the other me says they suck bigtime. I try to keep the positive one on top, that’s the goal anyway. It has been my experience that most artists feel this way and go through doubts and thrills…just as I do. The self portrait….man, I loved that. This new little green fairy…I love it too, even though Cathy thought it was an elf, fairies aren’t green…I said, in my book they’re all colors, remember? Oh ya. Seriously…..I’m having to fix sentences. I shall take my power back now. There. Done. I know it sounds strange….but I called in ArchAngel Michael to cut any cords to a certain person and to any who wished my harm. Then I prayed my normal protection from such things….a mirror shield. Any negative energy sent to me bounces off my mirror and back to the sender. Just covering my bases…plus I felt the need. I am usually opposed to the cord cutting. Ask my daughter. Well folkies olkies…it’s late, lol. 1:27am = 1 = beginnings.
Well, I’ve gone and hurt my ribs again…this time the other side and a bit lower. Musta been wrangling goats yesterday. All I know is it hurts to breathe, move, laugh, talk loudly and just about anything else. That said…..we sheared Junebug today and I took the rest of the curls off the Picasso boy. He had a high fever when he had bottlejaw and it shedded his coat. He’s feeling really good now. Running for food and wanting attention as usual. I gave Kiwi his wormer and Khalifa as well. Today I collected…..Sendai poo and Happy poo. I get to try it again. I’ll heat the water to take the cold off this time. And I’ll remember to strain it. Last time…it looked like it was supposed to look…just with extra trash and no eggs. Jesse is getting fed up with all the goat work required. I simply have too many goats. Especially with my body so easily injured. Just got done feeding and dumping water troughs and refilling. All of the above cause pain. But hey…what’s a farmer to do? Suck it up and go on. Does this mean I won’t be able to go to the shooting range this weekend? Hmmm…..knowing me, I’ll at least attempt it and see how much it hurts. I mean jeesh…it took a good month to heal from the last one!!! Well, at least Junebug is sheared. About 6 or so still to be done and baby Bentley needs his off too before it gets ruined. It’s 6 months for him….still only 4 for my babies.
Oh my gosh .I almost forgot. Today I was sitting with the girls. We were waiting on Jesse with the feed bags. I told you I touch Milky and them every chance and when they feel my hand, they run. Today, I touched Milky and she ran. Later, as I was sitting, she came nearby. I reached around Georgia who is always stuck to me like glue, and I put my hand on Milkys leg. I laid it there. She didn’t move. Then I lifted my hand and began to stroke her leg as in petting. While I did that, I was saying…..Oh, thank you Milky. What a good girl Milky. Oh thank you thank you. I then stopped and a moment later…did it again. Oh what a treat. I honestly haven’t been able to touch her since she was 6 months old. The day I sheared her….she stopped trusting me. We had been buds. It hurt me, but I moved on. And now…..oh that makes me so happy. Oh, and Picasso……just stood there at my chair while I sheared him with scissors. Not much to shear, just some neck and shoulder curls, but still. I liked it. No restraints…just a goat allowing me to help him.
For those of you with goats and who still use Ivomec….were you aware there’s a generic? Way cheaper. The Ivomec is $119 vs. $62 generic. Same exact ingredients. TSC or other feed stores near you. Yay. The store was out, so that’s why I haven’t rewormed the whole herd yet. I gave those two doses last night and might have one more baby dose. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I get more…a huge bottle. But tonight I play with poo. Nice balance, eh? One poo from the boys and one poo from the girls. Lol, it’s just the way it happened. Oh I saw plenty of dropping poo today…but it was as if the universe was teasing me….they were all ones who had recently been wormed so I didn’t need it yet…not 10 days yet. Then my Happy obliged. In fact, she did more than that……she approached me when I called her over…twice today. I’m tellin ya, they finally trust me. Ha…and I sell them. Some parts of my life I hate. Some I love, some I tolerate, some I like and some are unbearable. Life at its finest. Ok….signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.