Lesson in life. Don’t ask questions unless you’re ready to accept the answers, like them or not. I think back to the me that would have plum freaked out at the responses I got when I offered to let anyone see my newest painting I was working on…the one I posted here the other day with the orange sky…This me didn’t freak. This me…took it like a man. Haha, what a goofy saying. I took it and I handled it well. I didn’t get extremely down, no not at all. A bit, yes, but not a bunch. Amazing really. Jesse said I shouldn’t do photos…maybe he’s right, who knows. Maybe I do better when I make them up myself…..I dunno. I only showed it individually to those who asked…in FB messages….so it’s not like it’s out there, really. Thank God. I knew it wasn’t great, but wasn’t sure I could improve on it, that’s why I presented the question. Maybe I should just make it mine instead of making it like a photo. Who knows.
That’s resilience. That’s another thing I have achieved. I grow day by day and I notice it. I guarantee, you grow too daily, but my guess is that you don’t notice. This noticing…it’s part studies, part habit and part belief. Joined together…they are strong. The more they join….the more I learn and the more I know…or know to the best of my ability on the spinning ball. The more I can catch my thoughts as they happen instead of letting them control me. It takes a long time to be able to do that…but it can be done….this I know. The taming of the brain….I believe this may be the job. The chore. The ultimate thing we are supposed to do. It feels this way. The taming of the brain. Well folkie olkies….think I’m gonna rest this ole brain for the night. It’s 2:57am = 5 = change. Hmmm, yippee!
Wow…someone found me today by typing into google….blog love boring mama. Goodness. Well, maybe so. Regardless, I took that painting that I needed to know if it was any good….hint…that’s a sure sign of not liking it myself….and I stripped it down. I took off every part I didn’t like and needled the fuzz back into place. I’m happier now. And, I added color. LOL. Also, last night when only a couple liked the sky painting, I started a fairy one. I worked on it too tonight. I believe it may be done or close to. I’m happy with both. I’m trying to get a bunch finished before I post them, so that maybe some will be liked. Yup….still not enough belief in self…Jesse tells me constantly. I kinda like it though.
Khalifa, as you know, is in the playpen in the new BB pen outside my bedroom window, where I now reside. He has torn holes in the mesh and can now climb out. Thing is…he also climbs back in. Tonight, Billy was in it….and poor new baby Armani was wishing he could get in it to get away from me. I picked him up today and I do believe he and Bentley remember each other. Bentley has been watching me with the other boys and finally decided he wanted petted too. In the meantime…Khalifa, feeling at a disadvantage, I’m sure….is horning everyone. Good grief. Fixin to expand the pen tomorrow, now that there are so many. 6. There are now 6. Billy, Buddha, Kiwi, Khalifa, Bentley and Armani. Jesse named Bentley, so it seemed only natural to name the other baby from the same place at the same time, something Brand namish. So…Armani he is. His technical name is Rex. In the meantime….between thinking about getting him and getting him….little Buddha has grown his fiber some more and holy moly. Not sure I needed this new baby Armani, or Bentley for that matter….but he’s still growing…only 4 months and still waiting to see what happens with the neck curls, but the coverage on this boy is right up there with the newbies from Kai Mohair. And don’t get me talking about my Crystal. Yes, she’s small, which apparently is a no no…but she’s got it all. Well, unless you demand blue eyes and fringed ears….which have nothing to do with shearing….or knitting. Most of the people in the goat world live differently in their brains than I do. I believe in the powere of thought, visualization, intention. My goats are small. Doesn’t mean they’re sick…although right now, yes, with them out on grass, the worms are getting them, but aside from that……I desire small goats and I get small goats. I desire beautiful goats and I get beautiful goats. My desire and my intention….are all. Try telling that to a fiber judge. Try telling that to anyone who isn’t evolving and they will laugh at you and tell you you’re nuts. And I….in my evolved wisdom…..would refrain from smirking. Ok…it’s late enough…3:14am = 8 = infinity = God. Nightie night good people.
Well, Kachina didn’t make it. There are many possibilities….she was just too weak, it was too far in her system or……it was that mistake dose of wormer. Ya…I made a mistake. I had just wormed her the day before and I had 2 more goats I wanted to worm and I had Kachina’s rumen drink. I gave her the drink…..went to give Shortcake her wormer, then….the dreaded mistake….I went back to Kachina to give the next shot, when it was supposed to be Belle. I started screaming….the wrong goat, we gave it to the wrong goat!!! The next day….yesterday….she had an infection, so I had no choice but to give her antibiotic….so…it could be that she might’ve made it like Lila….if she hadn’t had so dang many chemicals in her…I’ll never know. In the meantime, baby Flower is crying, and watched the dirt be put on top of her mom. I’m hoping the herd is kind to her. And Kiwi doesn’t have a clue.
We also expanded the BB pen and now they have grass for the moment and a lot more room. I have figured it out. Khalifa’s way to remain a buck while injured……..he is the only goat with his own pad, his own crib……lol, and therefore…he believes he is head buck. So, splint and all…he goes plowing into goats….and he’s plowing into me too….and I’m having to do the hold the horn thing. He so hates that. It seems to work better than putting them down and holding them till they stop struggling. The swelling has gone down in his leg and the splint has to be redone, but he’s still the KING. Good Lord….we brought him in on my bed and laid him down. Took a good hour to cut the damn hospital tape off his leg…stupid Dr. He really needed to have his leg breathe for a day but due to the break couldn’t take chances so put the splint back on and wrapped in breathable vet wrap instead. He’s out there running with the rest of em. Not ideal, but he’s getting better. And……holy moly. Gotta stop taking the boys word…………….gotta check on things myself. Picasso…..well, his sypmtoms are gone. The bottlejaw is gone completely……but so are his clothes. He had kept telling me Picasso was fine. My dumb for not checking myself…but I had others I was tending. He may be all better…but he is naked. Stress? Shock? Meds? I dunno. Combination? Good grief. Turns out it’s Fever….he had a high fever and it made him lose his coat. This is good news.
OH MY GOD…..the best goat vet in the world just hung up on me telling me he couldn’t help me and that I was doing what he learned not to do 20 yrs ago…we are talking about the mite treatment. He threw a fit and said don’t ask a vet….go on the internet…I can’t help you and he hung up. This is after I tell him that the subq ivomec worked on the mite goats. Screw it…….what an asshole. Number one…yes I got the mite treatment from the internet…but not from google….from the goat group….where people share what has worked for them……I didn’t even get to tell him that…or that two vets just told me opposing treatments for worms, so just which VETS was I supposed to be trusting?????…I was in mid speech telling him that when I realized he had hung up on me. So…does this mean that my subq is whats killing the goats? All 2 of them??? And explain how the Beautifuls are now so well…they were about to be put out on pasture with the boys….except that pasture has worms and drylot doesn’t.
I am shaking to my very core. A doctor that doesn’t even finish the call….hangs up without all the information. All I can say is he must have been having a bad day but he didn’t need to take it out on me. The answer is NO…….Kachina never got any mite treatment. AND…you don’t hang up on someone…..if you want something different…you gotta explain it…DUDE. Well…..so much for asking the all mighty Texas A & M to help. Good Lord…not only was he rude and did that…but he didn’t offer another option or a better option. I’m so pissed right now I could spit. And besides…………………………does he think I didn’t ask the VET what to give them? The vet said…..ask Lisa. Lisa said…1% permethrin….nope…no luck. 3 years my Beautifuls had mites. I even went to the local extension office asking for a treatment…nothing. Then, a few months back I saw this treatment. Oh how stupid….not how the dang goats died at all. I’m so furious. SO……I think I’m finally speechless. Better sign off now at YeeHaw ranch where we kill our goats and heal the mites.