a BAD DAMN Day……………

Lesson in life. Don’t ask questions unless you’re ready to accept the answers, like them or not. I think back to the me that would have plum freaked out at the responses I got when I offered to let anyone see my newest painting I was working on…the one I posted here the other day with the orange sky…This me didn’t freak. This me…took it like a man. Haha, what a goofy saying. I took it and I handled it well. I didn’t get extremely down, no not at all. A bit, yes, but not a bunch. Amazing really. Jesse said I shouldn’t do photos…maybe he’s right, who knows. Maybe I do better when I make them up myself…..I dunno. I only showed it individually to those who asked…in FB messages….so it’s not like it’s out there, really. Thank God. I knew it wasn’t great, but wasn’t sure I could improve on it, that’s why I presented the question. Maybe I should just make it mine instead of making it like a photo. Who knows.

That’s resilience. That’s another thing I have achieved. I grow day by day and I notice it. I guarantee, you grow too daily, but my guess is that you don’t notice. This noticing…it’s part studies, part habit and part belief. Joined together…they are strong. The more they join….the more I learn and the more I know…or know to the best of my ability on the spinning ball. The more I can catch my thoughts as they happen instead of letting them control me. It takes a long time to be able to do that…but it can be done….this I know. The taming of the brain….I believe this may be the job. The chore. The ultimate thing we are supposed to do. It feels this way. The taming of the brain. Well folkie olkies….think I’m gonna rest this ole brain for the night. It’s 2:57am = 5 = change. Hmmm, yippee!

Wow…someone found me today by typing into google….blog love boring mama. Goodness. Well, maybe so. Regardless, I took that painting that I needed to know if it was any good….hint…that’s a sure sign of not liking it myself….and I stripped it down. I took off every part I didn’t like and needled the fuzz back into place. I’m happier now. And, I added color. LOL. Also, last night when only a couple liked the sky painting, I started a fairy one. I worked on it too tonight. I believe it may be done or close to. I’m happy with both. I’m trying to get a bunch finished before I post them, so that maybe some will be liked. Yup….still not enough belief in self…Jesse tells me constantly. I kinda like it though.

Khalifa, as you know, is in the playpen in the new BB pen outside my bedroom window, where I now reside. He has torn holes in the mesh and can now climb out. Thing is…he also climbs back in. Tonight, Billy was in it….and poor new baby Armani was wishing he could get in it to get away from me. I picked him up today and I do believe he and Bentley remember each other. Bentley has been watching me with the other boys and finally decided he wanted petted too. In the meantime…Khalifa, feeling at a disadvantage, I’m sure….is horning everyone. Good grief. Fixin to expand the pen tomorrow, now that there are so many. 6. There are now 6. Billy, Buddha, Kiwi, Khalifa, Bentley and Armani. Jesse named Bentley, so it seemed only natural to name the other baby from the same place at the same time, something Brand namish. So…Armani he is. His technical name is Rex. In the meantime….between thinking about getting him and getting him….little Buddha has grown his fiber some more and holy moly. Not sure I needed this new baby Armani, or Bentley for that matter….but he’s still growing…only 4 months and still waiting to see what happens with the neck curls, but the coverage on this boy is right up there with the newbies from Kai Mohair. And don’t get me talking about my Crystal. Yes, she’s small, which apparently is a no no…but she’s got it all. Well, unless you demand blue eyes and fringed ears….which have nothing to do with shearing….or knitting. Most of the people in the goat world live differently in their brains than I do. I believe in the powere of thought, visualization, intention. My goats are small. Doesn’t mean they’re sick…although right now, yes, with them out on grass, the worms are getting them, but aside from that……I desire small goats and I get small goats. I desire beautiful goats and I get beautiful goats. My desire and my intention….are all. Try telling that to a fiber judge. Try telling that to anyone who isn’t evolving and they will laugh at you and tell you you’re nuts. And I….in my evolved wisdom…..would refrain from smirking. Ok…it’s late enough…3:14am = 8 = infinity = God. Nightie night good people.

Well, Kachina didn’t make it. There are many possibilities….she was just too weak, it was too far in her system or……it was that mistake dose of wormer. Ya…I made a mistake. I had just wormed her the day before and I had 2 more goats I wanted to worm and I had Kachina’s rumen drink. I gave her the drink…..went to give Shortcake her wormer, then….the dreaded mistake….I went back to Kachina to give the next shot, when it was supposed to be Belle. I started screaming….the wrong goat, we gave it to the wrong goat!!! The next day….yesterday….she had an infection, so I had no choice but to give her antibiotic….so…it could be that she might’ve made it like Lila….if she hadn’t had so dang many chemicals in her…I’ll never know. In the meantime, baby Flower is crying, and watched the dirt be put on top of her mom. I’m hoping the herd is kind to her. And Kiwi doesn’t have a clue.

We also expanded the BB pen and now they have grass for the moment and a lot more room. I have figured it out. Khalifa’s way to remain a buck while injured……..he is the only goat with his own pad, his own crib……lol, and therefore…he believes he is head buck. So, splint and all…he goes plowing into goats….and he’s plowing into me too….and I’m having to do the hold the horn thing. He so hates that. It seems to work better than putting them down and holding them till they stop struggling. The swelling has gone down in his leg and the splint has to be redone, but he’s still the KING. Good Lord….we brought him in on my bed and laid him down. Took a good hour to cut the damn hospital tape off his leg…stupid Dr. He really needed to have his leg breathe for a day but due to the break couldn’t take chances so put the splint back on and wrapped in breathable vet wrap instead. He’s out there running with the rest of em. Not ideal, but he’s getting better. And……holy moly. Gotta stop taking the boys word…………….gotta check on things myself. Picasso…..well, his sypmtoms are gone. The bottlejaw is gone completely……but so are his clothes. He had kept telling me Picasso was fine. My dumb for not checking myself…but I had others I was tending. He may be all better…but he is naked. Stress? Shock? Meds? I dunno. Combination? Good grief. Turns out it’s Fever….he had a high fever and it made him lose his coat. This is good news.

OH MY GOD…..the best goat vet in the world just hung up on me telling me he couldn’t help me and that I was doing what he learned not to do 20 yrs ago…we are talking about the mite treatment. He threw a fit and said don’t ask a vet….go on the internet…I can’t help you and he hung up. This is after I tell him that the subq ivomec worked on the mite goats. Screw it…….what an asshole. Number one…yes I got the mite treatment from the internet…but not from google….from the goat group….where people share what has worked for them……I didn’t even get to tell him that…or that two vets just told me opposing treatments for worms, so just which VETS was I supposed to be trusting?????…I was in mid speech telling him that when I realized he had hung up on me. So…does this mean that my subq is whats killing the goats? All 2 of them??? And explain how the Beautifuls are now so well…they were about to be put out on pasture with the boys….except that pasture has worms and drylot doesn’t.

I am shaking to my very core. A doctor that doesn’t even finish the call….hangs up without all the information. All I can say is he must have been having a bad day but he didn’t need to take it out on me. The answer is NO…….Kachina never got any mite treatment. AND…you don’t hang up on someone…..if you want something different…you gotta explain it…DUDE. Well…..so much for asking the all mighty Texas A & M to help. Good Lord…not only was he rude and did that…but he didn’t offer another option or a better option. I’m so pissed right now I could spit. And besides…………………………does he think I didn’t ask the VET what to give them? The vet said…..ask Lisa. Lisa said…1% permethrin….nope…no luck. 3 years my Beautifuls had mites. I even went to the local extension office asking for a treatment…nothing. Then, a few months back I saw this treatment. Oh how stupid….not how the dang goats died at all. I’m so furious. SO……I think I’m finally speechless. Better sign off now at YeeHaw ranch where we kill our goats and heal the mites.

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16 thoughts on “a BAD DAMN Day……………

  1. I don’t understand the day you’ve had. I mean…I don’t understand the ugliness of the doc or the pain of the loss of two goats or the frustrations…I’m thrilled to see Einstein as he just looks amazing and I remember how he looked before. I feel the deep pain you are writing. I feel it. The loss of a goat is pain that is real and deep and lasting. It leaves questions and it leaves tears and it leaves anger. It leaves so much…that months later you may pass the grave and burst in to tears. But I also know you are doing good things there. We all make mistakes. We live with those. But that doesn’t change the good you are doing or the beauty of the work you are producing or the care you are giving or the victories you are having. I don’t know if I’m making sense…but I just feel so awful much for you and I just want you to know that. Love you…. I’m so stinkin sorry for you and Flower… my heart just hurts and hurts….

    • Bless you Kris. You understand exactly what I’m going through. After Moonee died and they started to get sick….I saved 2, lost 1. So I must be doing something right or it’d be lost 3. It’s all very confusing which is why I called the school. Sometimes it’s hard to know if a goat is sick or is not eating due to grazing all day along with 100 degree temps. And yes…. I lost a friend today. And yes. I will cry in later days as well when I pass by. He buried her under her tree in the L. A lot of emotions. Thank you for caring and for sharing from your heart. I feel you and I’m grateful and blessed. <3. ❤

      Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

  2. ((hugs)) you keep doing what your heart and spirit confirms is correct! You know that feeling… when you get advice and your guts says YES! really, as individual as our goats are and as specialized as the needs of this breed are (in my humble opinion) you can only do this and live with it. Someitmes it will work… sometimes it won’t!
    I drylot all my goats. I then release them to forage on occasion. (usually after the tall weeds are brush hogged down) My Angoras are doing good on this. My little Tango that had such a rough start last winter (when his momma knocked a piece of plywood over on him then stood on it in the snow) is still very very small. Not sure if this is normal for a buck (he is from Kai stock too – all 3 of mine are) or this line. His half sister is going to be 2 this next spring and is still smaller than her mom.
    I don’t know… I just know I saved Tango’s life – he is beautiful and he is happy! That is good enough. Despite the fact that I really need to sell my angoras.

    • I remember when the baby got stood on and I’m thrilled to hear he’s ok!!!! Yay!!! Thank you for sharing your story. And thank you for standing by me and my goats and my ways. I didn’t know you needed to sell your goats. All of them? Your words are a balm to a hurt heart. Blessings

      Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

  3. I know what this is like. 😦 You’ve just run into another ass hole we share this world with and this is how he deals with people. Turn your back on it and don’t get pulled into his miserable world. Here’s a big hug!

  4. Oh, oh, oh…Ivomec injection worked on my NAGs when nothing else would. I couldn’t get a handle on the lice and mites and tried EVERYTHING! The shots worked 🙂 Okay..better days ahead! Love, Missy

  5. You are doing the best by your goats that you can. Shit happens, and goats die. It is not your fault that two vets gave you conflicting info. I know this is very hard on you because you love your goats like I do, and when my three died I wanted to die too, but there are other mouths out there that need me to love them too, so onward we trudge, hopefully learning from what happened. I am glad you have the microscope and can start doing your own fecals. More power to the woman farmers, we have bigger hearts and more motivation to see our animals thrive then most men do. To hell with vets that don’t have time to listen, but judge before the story is out. Hugs to you and to Flower. Special treats for her!!! The deer were out for you today. I need to get some pictures of them for you

    • God bless your soul Mea!!! You always know what to say to help me and always at the right moments. You’ve done it twice today. Ye know….my main vet…vet#1….says every time there’s a problem. Well you have two choices. Is this an animal you’d pay a few thousand dollars for or is this just an animal? No in betweens for him. Love you girl. Thank YOU! Thank you deer!!!! Huggs

      Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

      • I don’t think any of us would pay a few thousand dollars for any goat, or dog or cat or child, OK maybe for our children, or not 😉 But that doesn’t mean an animal is just an animal, they all have names and their own personalities, but you have to limit what we are willing to spend for the good of all our animals. I mean would it be worth spending several thousand dollars on a goat who cost ~$400, if there was no guaranty? and vets can’t guaranty anything, because most don’t know goats like we do. UGH, now you got me started. Can I put a value on an animal? Well you remember Maple? Her little front knees were frozen in a bent position and she could not walk, she had other things going on but her swollen knees were her major problem. I took her to ISU and they kept her for almost a week. Took X-rays, did ultrasound, pulled fluid off her knees to see what it was. The result, they didn’t know. the x-ray showed her joints were in good shape, not what they were expecting. They wanted to open her knees up and clean out the excess tissue and fluid, cost over $500 per knee, I asked would she be better? Well we don’t know what caused it so it could come back. No I would not put her through that. Not because I didn’t love her, but because I did love her. I took good care of her all winter and she was getting stronger and more beautiful everyday. Then I went away for 11 days and when I got home she was dead from worms. My fault, yes, would the surgery have made any difference? No although it could have killed her then. You have to look at what you want from an animal, she would never have had a baby, they think she had some auto immune thing so it wouldn’t be worth passing it on, so what was she worth to me? Everything, but I could not spend money on her if I did not know she would get better. Sorry to go on, but your vet experiences irritate me beyond words!!!
        Happy Birthday

      • Oh my my my. You do me justice beyond words. Thank you my friend. You put it in a nutshell. I was hoping someone would grasp that. Good ole Mea! Thanks! I intend to have a happy birthday. Going to sleep now at 2:32am = 7 = holy Huggs

        Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

  6. Learn something new every day… Mary Stone here is Mea? wow…. Hill Harbor here… just in case you are reading.. 🙂
    I know with my own Jackson I did EVERYTHING I was told to do. I labored daily and prayed daily…but did I make mistakes? Over the months since his loss I’ve been able to see them clearly. I learned a ton. It still breaks my heart. I still cry at his grave. I miss him so much. He really wasn’t one I should have bred from, and didn’t, but he was worth so much more than breeding as my best friend. I know that God has a special place for goats like him. I am leery of so many who have advice but don’t know the animal. I mean… I’m making it my job to know these animals…not because I get paid..but because I care. I was able to read in blogs and on fb about the many things you were doing each day to They don’t know know… just like that vet. Blind. Because clearly the mite treatment was going on LONG before this…and those goats you used it on are just beautiful and happy now… it wasn’t that. You have learned a great deal that you can share with others through all this. It’s so sad when we learn at great cost…but at least we learn so the lives of our beloved goats are not in vain… love you

    • Thank you Kris….yes we learn the hard way and it is indeed very hard. I know you loved your boy so much. Thank you for the support and yes…..you guys do see and the vet didn’t….he didn’t even try to see. No…not in vain……..and yes…it’s Mea!!!

  7. We have to remember that almost everything the vets know about treating goats and sheep they learned from the flocks they work with. There is almost no research on drug usage in goats and sheep (no money in it for the drug companies). You are much better off talking to other goatherds and shepherds, unless it is something like a broken bone (and even then I am more likely to treat at home).

    As for your comments about what judges like at shows versus what we like to raise, I have a lot of the same complaints. This year I get to be the Angora goat judge at my state fair (they’ve never been shown there before). I am approaching it as a hand-spinner first, but I know my stuff. Should be interesting, but I’ll remind them all that it’s just my opinion on that day, lol.

    • yes….I’m discovering that the vets just don’t specialize in goats and they know less than we do sometimes. This guy however seemed to think they know everything. He was rude and unprofessional and I’m hoping a bad day caused his bad behavior and not just normal. Good luck with the judging. I just think it should be on the fleece more than the goat size or confirmation…just my opinion. that is why we grow them. Have fun!!!!

  8. That’s what I’m learning too… I have to know the health needs and treatments because vets don’t. I guess there is hope that some of the people raising kids on these glorious goat farms might raise future vets who will specialize in this…but till then… I try to prevent all I can…watch…learn…ask questions…and know it’s up to the good Lord in the end. It’s tough that way. I mean…knowing you have to learn it yourself…but I guess most cattle ranchers are in that boat too. That’s just part of it. Still..i think we get more attached to our goats!

    • theres no question…we get very attached to these glorious critters…not like cows at all. And ya….it’s up to us to save them most of the time…we should know this stuff. We need to know more than the vet actually. I’m trying….thats all I can do…try. We try.

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