My friend seemed offended by my saying I wasn’t writing lately, just telling. I hear ya girl, but really…for me, as a writer, there is a difference. Right now, I am writing. I’m not simply retelling a story that happened. I am actually coming up with words, putting sentences together to say something that I had not previously thought about or heard or said. See? Big difference! See, right now…I have no idea what’s coming next. What will Sheri say now? Will she complain…teach…..express joy? Not……….Well, Khalifa is laying in his pen right now and has had a pretty good day. The Doc said to check the splint for tightness due to swelling…which would be very bad….or looseness…..due to existing swelling going down…..which is good….but would be very bad. Problem is…..Jesse thinks it’s fine. I think he’s swelling and it’s too tight. What to do. What to do.
Either slit it like Doc suggested at both ends…to free it up…..or take him back to the vet tomorrow to see what he thinks. Personally….I’m in the room with him. Tonight, he has made some movements…jerking his head toward the bad leg….like it’s bothering him. For a baby who is so quiet about his pain…to me, that says something. Of course I didn’t tell Jesse that. I’ll get him to feel again next time he’s down. Now……see…………………..do you see the difference? Writing versus telling? On the other hand….I am also a storyteller. I have stories to tell. I rarely do that here, but I do. I never tell you guys anything about my early life really…or my life with my first husband or my life with my second, abusive husband or my third very strange deal husband or my job as an internet model or the extent of many things.
It’s so hard. So hard to unlearn worry. To unlearn what you have been conditioned to think for your whole life. We have been taught to look for the worse. To prepare for the worse. To think it can’t be done or shouldn’t be done. Right now there’s some kind of water trine planet thing and it is a time when creating what you want is possible. However…..how does one do that, when the majority of their actual thoughts are of what could go wrong…what could happen that is not ideal….why can’t we think the other way? Why can’t we worry in the positive????? I want to so badly. I’ve been working on this for about 4-5 years now and I still haven’t mastered it and it scares me.
This diaper business is not going well. The first pee, it came out one end. Then, it just fell off. Crap. So….my new plan…which will save me beaucoups of money…..is to get kitchen dishtowels…the 6 for $5 kind…..put a hole at each end and tie them on with strips of bedsheets. Hmmmm, something feels icky. Really icky. I hate that feeling. Oooh my. Not good. Not good. Icky is never good. Well……hate to end on that note but it is what it is. Night night sweet souls. Until tomorrow. 12:55 = 4 = Angels…………………………………….Angels…………….Angels………………please remove all traces of lyme from my daughters body. Thank you….She is already healed. Night night.
Jesse got a job! He starts Friday and it’s only a weekend thing for now cuz the place is just getting started. He also has another job he goes to see about tomorrow. These are all places very nearby….at the end of my 6 mile road actually. The Friday one is 6:30pm till close which would be late….so he will have to drive my little blue car without a license. Scary that….but what else can we do….I don’t have the fine money….remember???? Khalifa just got his pain meds and he’s just laying there like a sweet boy. He’s so dang good, it’s ridiculous. I have a wedge of hay in here in my room for the baby but the cats think it’s their food and also their bed. I swear, my room has turned into a barn….smell and all. And oh….the sweet sound of tiny poo pellets hitting the playpen floor….well, the sheet on the playpen floor. Hubby’s gonna bring home some Depends panties tonight I think….see if that works.
Ha…..today I decided to remember that Oprah was showing the soaps that have been restarted. Very different. Not sure it’s going to be able to talk me out of my no Tv during the day gig. There are quite a few of the original actors, I’m surprised. I was so very upset when they canceled them….but life did indeed go on…..we shall see. Smooch is trying to lay in my lap. I haven’t forgiven her yet for the bite. It was major. She snuck in my room as I was closing the door on the way to the vets and I grabbed her by the tail cuz she was running. She turned and sunk her teeth into me….and held….hard….I pulled. So I now have a hand owie…two puncture holes and a slice…lol, me pulling away. She knows she did bad, that’s why she’s trying to sneak…..and quite successfully I might add cuz my fingers are busy tying.
Wow…it’s a conspiracy to keep mama from needlefelting. First, a package arrived. Then it looked like a rainstorm coming so we went to feed. Then I saw Mimi didn’t come to eat, so….went to see her and she has a leg owie!!! Didn’t feel broken, so we splinted it then gave her some Bute for pain, gave her food and water which she didn’t touch. Now it’s raining. Which is a great thing…no, an awesome thing! And how strange that I have two with leg injuries in one week when I’ve never had any in 5 years. Poor dear….and to prove she was hurting…..she just stood there and let me touch her. She picked up her hoof for me, she let me touch her anywhere on her body and Buddha can slip in for more milk than she wants to give. Hope he doesn’t get hurt too!!! She has to be in pain to let me do that, without a hesitation. Ahh well, here’s to hoping she feels better tomorrow. Ok…..guess I need to sign off at YeeHaw Ranch. Ps…oh ya…I guess in the end it’s all writing…lol, my bad….cuz they do tend to flow together. Pss…….all the girls think that Mimi is out of commission, therefore they are all fighting like crazy for HerdQueen spot…..babies are getting involved too….rather dangerous time out there in the L.