Remember that rut I was talking about last night? I was saying walking and doing the same thing day after day causes ruts…well, there is also the mind rut. Knowing how I should/could be thinking does not make it any easier for me to stop an excessive train of thought. I catch myself thinking of a not so great scenario, and I take myself away, but what energy have I sent towards that other event. And what about the times when I don’t or can’t catch myself. Lol, yes, I think about odd things. Example…..it’s raining. You have a fear of driving in the rain. How do you stop your inner voice from torturing you with……the car will slide, it will hydroplane, you could wreck. See….I try so very hard these days to tame my mind from creating a rut with these thoughts…..Like all morning or even days in advance….stressing, that’s another word for it. But I have to tame my mind, so I don’t make a ‘thought rut’. I don’t want thought ruts cuz that’s energy in the wrong direction. As you can probably guess….I’ve just caught myself. But just so you’ll know….only one person has said anything whatsoever about the finished lil book. Well, not finished finished, but close. Or not….if everyone hates it I can either chunk it or rework all the parts that are yuk. But you gotta tell me what those parts are, cuz I’m too close to see. I dunno…this is all so new. My daughter says just let it flow out of me and don’t do anything with it…just let it flow.
I just love it when the movies have one song that they change up all the way through the movie, but it’s the same damn song. I’m watching 6 days 7 nights but others I can think of are ….August Rush and Shall we Dance. I’m noticing music more these days with a musician in the house. I actually enjoy watching that competition. It seems more of a competition than most reality tv type shows. The people are given a bunch of songs, or one song. They have to remix it. There are more challenges than that, but that’s the basic one. It’s kinda fun. I look forward to it, but the funny part is I can’t remember any of their names. Just the faces. Jesse was just down here and we watched most of a movie. I even watched another half hours worth but then I found this movie. SO…….Russia is threatening war because of Monsanto? Jeesh and crapola. And yay? I don’t quite know what to say to that. It’s the topic of the day. All day long on FB, I saw post after post about the bees. The bees that were taken from the farm and killed, the ones resistant to you know who crops. The four years left for humans to live after the bees are gone.
I was just telling Jesse tonight…you don’t know you’re in an adventure until it’s over. Well, I guess sometimes you know…..but you don’t think of the word adventure, you think pain, fear, scared….You think, oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening to me. Will I live through it? But I’m not done yet! Oh God, why me? Oh God, I’m sorry….I’m so so sorry. Lol. Sometimes that’s the way it happens. I remember on a vague level. Damnit…there went that rut again. See, I told hubby about the letter to Jesse from the attorneys and I said, they won’t come all the way down here to get him, right? Hubby says….Texas is doing a warrant cleanup. They did round one last month. Oh holy crap. He’s got like 4. All minor, and all just fines, but arrrgh. But then…..there was this fiber….lol. Night night sweet ones. See ya in the morning. 1:28am = 11 master number.
Or like…..what if a baby is screaming and I can’t hear it cuz I’ve got the ac on in here and therefore the tv volume is turned up…..a rut. Yikes, I just hate that kind. Or the pond. It’s not that I’m worried or concerned that they’ll walk into it and drown….they have no appetite for that that I can see….but no, the snakes. Water snakes and ponds go together in the country. I worry, but no…I think about…..and then I try to trade the thought in…so no rut.
Well, shearing called on account of rain again. Then, I’m expecting something from UPS or someone and I hear the truck and the pups, and I race across the yard, yelling…I’m here, I’m here. Nope. Just some window car part. Then I get the results of the reading my dear dear daughter purchased for me cuz she knew I wanted it. It was done through email, and I got my response. Hmmm. Ok. The shaman suggested I go into the woods to release. WOW, Thanks Lady. And my beautiful daughter paid you out of her very hard earned money, to say that to me. So……since my daughter did pay for it, I did it. I took Little Boy and Blue and went down to Swampy pond. I released. Little Boy wandered off, I called him back. He came back then wandered. I called him back and he joined me on the very large boulder I was sitting on. No idea if it’ll help or not. Thank you Summer Girl. Oh wait…the Lady did say I was doing great…that’s something. Then Jesse says we have no internet. Jeesh. Ahhh, but it did come on, so I started to blog from here in the house…then Cathy showed up. Now, at 5pm is when I’m finally writing here. Oh ya….coming back from the woods, after I said hello to the girls and took photos, I spy a butterfly. Very pretty. Im taking photos, knowing none are fully opened wings. It finally lands, and goes wings completely 100% closed. I said, wow….those wings are really closed. Can you show me them open? And……open! I love spirit. And…I love you too! Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch. Ps….the dung beetle has moved his pile of pooplets about 15 ft, toward the L gate. Wonder where the colony is…