Sucked in again…………..

Well folks, I had to physically make myself stop needling, when I realized I was doing it again. Midnight and only one beer. Can’t sleep on that! Once upon a time, I didn’t need the beer, my medicine worked for that as well, the pot. Then….long friggin story but I end up in Kansas for a spot of hell. Don’t we all need a spot of hell here and there? Ya….no…but we get em anyways. This particular hell was weather pain related and crack hell thrown in for kicks by the people I was staying with. Horrible stories, horrible time. During this time, I rarely ever had access to my pot medicine. I cried for hours on end, suffering terribly, with no care from the people in the house. That’s when I started drinking on a daily basis. I had to medicate somehow and crack sure wasn’t doing the trick. Back then, it was around 12 a day. Took me years to weedle it down to 5-7 where I am now. Like I said…One won’t do and I gotta toss em back! When I was a child, they called me the Fish, cuz I could chug a large bottle of beer really really fast. Now…..I spread em out over 6-7 hours…..therefore I’m pretty well in control the entire time, should an emergency arise. Which it has….goat births. Oh Lordie….there I went again. Someone stop me!!! Ok….I’m facing the computer again. Phhhew.

I’m watching Unstoppable…..for around the 4th or 5th time this week. Whenever it’s on I jump on it. Not sure what it is about a wreck in progress that gets stopped……but it does push a button or two. Maybe it’s the sheer effort of the two train driver guys. Maybe it’s their heart and willingness to put themselves in harm. Ya, maybe that. I like dramas and life and death movies…not shooting movies, more like catastrophe movies. Twister, Deep Impact, you get my drift. And then there’s the catastrophe movie of a different kind….Avatar. Have you seen it? I know when it came out I had no intentions of seeing it…didn’t sound good. But oh my goodness, it’s one of my favorites now. That’s one thing I will enjoy when I move back to the house. Technically I could move anytime. It’s obvious that if Wywy and the girls get to business, I won’t be seeing it. All I get to see is the romance aspect, and there surely has been one. He’s quite the ladies man, my Wy. Tonight, Jesse saw him taking a stroll in the pen and eating hay with a lady. No idea which lady, plus all the stuff I’d already seen, but ya… just could be working….my little experiment.

Just shot Jesse a photo of the painting as it is at this moment. LOL, always apt to change. He said he loves it! I do too. When I’m not doing art, I forget how much I need to do art. I mean, I know I need to….I have this ache, this dull ache that sits in me when I need to do something, but I’m not sure what. I used to stare at a blank canvas for hours. Knowing I needed to paint….waiting for the inspiration. The passion was there….just not the Knowing of what would appear on the canvas. It’s pretty much a constant in my life….that feeling in my gut that I NEED to create. That’s why I never thought I was a writer. I just did it. Didn’t need to. I just always did it. Ha. How funny in hindsight. I guess they’re each a different form of art, therefore different modus operandi. Oh LOrdie is this fun!!! As fun or funner than the dreadlocks. Speaking of dreadlocks….Valerie, who wanted the first ones….has asked for a few to add to ……from her favorite goat in the whole world….our own little Star. She seems to be everybody’s goat. The first, unexpected and way before the others. Time to bond on a deep level. Time to share her on a deep level before the avalanche of babies came. Her and Khalifa….but he came almost 2 months after she was born. The long stretched out kidding season of 2013. Ha….and 2012…lol, Star, on the 8th. Oh ya…Bruce Almighty, parting the seas of his tomato soup. Yes….I like a few comedies too. Not a ton…but some. Well….goodnight sweethearts! It’s time to gooooo, to sleep, that is. Night night. 1:16am = 8 = infinity.

Tea has been had….goatie photo stroll has been taken…photos cropped and deleted, and time to head to town for Saturday stuff. Jesse is staying behind today…too much to do, he said. Lol. Ok…I’m off. Town was fairly uneventful, cept I did get some orange construction netting. Yay. I can envision a gazillion temporary pens with that, plus to cover the thorny vines. When we got back, the zenbuggy battery was dead so I couldn’t feed, so I just went into the pasture where they were to wait. I sat down. They came and most of em laid down around me. Gosh I’m in love. There are positions the babies get into when they are really tired…..that look like a dead goat. I’m not the only person to experience this phenomenon, and today….I knew she was alive, but if I hadn’t seen her move a few minutes earlier…..I’d have been petrified. I call it the death sleep. Today it was Crystal. Ha…..Jesse was in the pasture sitting awhile too and he saw the white baby and said, which one is it? I said…you tell me. I turned back to the baby and he says… Crystal. I then look over and see Yoki and Anya to his right and I said….YOU Cheated, didn’t you!??? Yup, he cheated. He found Anya and Yoki, therefore by deduction, this baby was Crystal. Jeesh!!!! It’s so easy!!!! I don’t have any problems knowing who is who. Going to carry the painting up to the house and see what they think….it might be done. Well, it does need to be run through a feltLOOM first, but other than that, I think it’s done. If they agree…..I’ll show you. I like it. Ok….well, till tomorrow my sweets. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch. P.S…..I need to make a change or two to the painting so I’ll wait to post a photo.
















4 thoughts on “Sucked in again…………..

  1. loved the pictures in this one. the creamy baby in the first few pics is just beautiful. and the sweet little tongue stuck out black baby! cute!

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