Tonight I’m watching The Lost Valentine. It’s a romance. A true blue romance. About a couple who falls deeply in love and their interactions until he has to go to war. It brings a tinge of sadness to me. Sadness that I never knew that kind of love. Man woman love. Sure….I loved, and loved deeply…..but I was not loved deeply back. Most of my love relationships were one sided….either way. Like hubby. I think he might have deeply loved me…I’ll never know……but I didn’t have that kind of love for him. My abusive ex, Jesse’s father….I loved deeply but he didn’t reciprocate. It’s just always been…..right out of reach. I’ve had a ton of different kinds of love though, mostly from my animals….and here lately, I feel loved quite often…by friends. But it’s not the same. Man woman love is different. Special. Maybe I had it in another lifetime and that’s why I miss it so. I think it’s the playful aspect that I miss. The teasing, swatting, playful chasing, spraying with the water hose…..you know. I probably miss more….but I don’t let myself go there.
Since I don’t feel romantically toward hubby….it would not be fair to allow any kind of touch. He is a man, after all. So, no hand holding, no cuddling, and no walking arm in arm or massages. The sex I don’t miss at all. Not at all. What do I need a man for? I can create my own orgasm. And I’m somewhat of a pro, but I rarely do even that these days….but the occasional lube of my knees or hips calls for such a thing. Ha…heard that in the eat pray love movie. I’ve often kicked around the idea of bringing up the topic. It seems to be taboo….but guess what? I don’t like to be told what to do and what not to do. I often wonder how many people have problems with pleasing themselves. I told you I was an internet model once….let’s put it this way….I once counted how many in a row……..I stopped when I reached 50.
So…..gentlemen….you may want to leave the building….without my apologies. We were created with the ability and the desire. Ok, here we go…ready? The most successful way….is to think of something erotic that really turns you on. Close your eyes and keep visualizing that scene. As you do that and start to get a bit bothered, reach down and touch the first thing you come to down there. With a very light touch, lay your middle finger on it and move it side to side. You will have to experiment with pressure. Ease off….speed up, ease off, speed up. Continue the visualization. Arch your hips….oh ya, you are laying flat on your back. Then just repeat all of those steps. When you get the start of a tingle…stop. But leave your finger there. Give it twenty seconds or so and start again. Repeat this till you are ready to finish. This particular method is the heavy duty method. If you need mild at first…..leave out the Stop and just keep going. There. One paragraph that made me giggle, and is probably making me blush…..and will probably make you blush……but folks, it’s just one paragraph among many. And look….it’s not even the whole paragraph. Yes….I’m brave….but I’m also a coward cuz I know I’m gonna fret over this. The following few lines of type, were typed first….then I got brave, so I pushed them further down in the page in case I later chickened out these words:
“ I hesitate to go any further without knowing if there is even a need. Ya…..I’ll leave it there for now and y’all can let me know if you want me to bring the topic up again. Hey….I’m here to teach and be taught. I know how to do it, so in this….I’m the teacher. Lemme know.”
Haha…..what fun. Well, it IS Saturday night! Once upon a time….I used to go out on Saturday nights. Didn’t you? Nowadays Saturday night is no different than the other 6 nights. Sitting on the edge of the bed with my laptop in front of me….a movie ahead of me and my iphone beside me….with a beer to the right. Ditto on the medicine. Oh ya….and curly goats behind me. Ahhh, the movie is ending and my need for man woman love has just been sated. It’s too painful at the loss of one….and the remaining behind of the other. I forgot. Man woman love is very painful. Oh….and when I say man woman….nowadays I’d guess it also holds true for the other kinds of relationships. Boy am I glad I’m done with all that. Hahahaha. I started this with the desire for love and ended up….not desiring love. How funny. Good dang movie. Ahh…..but then she dies and he comes and they dance again and they play in the water again. Nope…..I’m good. And it’s stop time now. 828 words…some of which are risqué. Smiling……Night night sweet folks….10:12pm = 4 = Angels!!!!
Good afternoon!!! Last night it rained and Wywy took the large portion of the house and didn’t let anyone in unless they became part of his harem. Fascinating, out the wazoo. Sex was in the air and I mustve tapped into it earlier, lol, last night….and then later in a private conversation. Too much testosterone in the energy fields. Today, I had photo session while letting the girls out, then sheared most of Donna….I did part of her last night as well as finishing Hopi. So, I got the majority off of Donna and part off Hannah. Yesterday they gave me chasing fits so today I came prepared with an empty trash can to block an exit. It worked…..but Hannah was v ery aggressive so I didn’t finish her without a stanchion. Donna just stood there once she was cornered. It’s a very cramped situation and not comfortable at all, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. This was something I could do by myself, without waiting for someone….so I did. Georgia and Etta are very upset to not be out. Last night, Etta wanted me to scratch her neck!!!!!!????? What???? Etta??? Love it. I even got to play scratch the nose with Maya too. No, Wy and his girls don’t know they too get to get out today….in one more hour. I’ll put up the girls and then it’s their turn. Yup…they should all be happy now for the night, as all have had greenies. I’m nervous now. Wasn’t last night. Am now. Oh well….hoping I leave it in….I think. Well, ya, I think, cuz to go without would be horrible. Lol. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.