Tuesday, April 09, 2013
I’m watching a movie called Fantastic Four. These people are in space and go through some mystery cloud and upon return to earth, they each have special powers. When the new rocktype man has a hard time, the scientific one says…don’t worry…I won’t rest a day until I turn you back to Ben. You’ll be Ben again. Really? After being a superhuman….to go back to Ben….would he really be….Ben again? Wouldn’t he be so drastically changed that he could never be Ben again. Sure, he may look like him….but we all know….you can’t go back. It never works. Like me. I can never be the person I was before I was MamaSheri. I can’t. She’s gone. All or any of you wishing to go back….stop. Not in the rules of life. You can either stay stagnant where you are….or you can go forward, but you can’t go back.
I don’t want to go back. Every now and then it’s good to dig stuff up as it needs to be released, and sometimes it’s just fun to go down memory lane, but for the most part…..now is better. Now is here. Now is colorful and moving. Now IS a rainbow. A rainbow of energy weaving through and intersecting with other energies, conversing and sharing love in its infinitesimal forms. Each touching each then touching another who touches another who then touches me. Ahhhh, the spirit of Now is fascinating and interesting and sweet and hard and scary and oh wow. And I woudn’t wanna miss a thing.
Yup….even the pain, cuz apparently it’s a part of me, and meant to be and we are one. I feel it surging through my left arm as I type this. I and my pain are one. We are equal. Friends. Old timers. Buds. Haha. Way to talk it up Sheri. It’s not that bad really, these days….so much better than even last year. I Am grateful. Gosh, who wouldn’t be. In all honesty…it could be as simple as a trick of the mind. When I was a child in pain, searching for a diagnosis….I remember one doctor…..I remember him saying….we don’t know anything about this…it could be that when you get into your 40’s and 50’s you’ll grow out of it. What a thing for a doc to say…..but dang….maybe my heart heard it…..and acquiesced.
The boy had a somewhat decent birthday…nothing great but better than last year! He’s changing so quickly from a boy into a man. He even said today that being here….has been like a father to him. That taught him so many lessons….and changed him and continues to change him. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it’s not the father…..it’s the mother. There has been no father influence here. Unless you count GOD. Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s the Father….my Father. Remember, when I asked him what did he want me to call him, he said…Father. But still…ego speaking,……it is mother that is playing the role out here, not father. Mother is putting up with, dealing, loving, enjoying, crying, laughing yes-ing!!!!!!! The fly just landed on my pointer finger to remind me to say YES! Thank you fly…..she says with the fly strip a few feet away. And the fly is back…and has jumped on both pointer fingers. Lol….I said to one last night….pointer finger YES, thumb NO. Just like I did back in 1998, at the beginning of my journey….and a few times since. Gotta love energy and the connectedness of everything, even insects.
You might think such about a butterfly…cuz it’s pretty and easy to think of your deceased loved ones, for example, coming to you as these fluttering gorgeous things…..but what if they come as a tiny grub or beetle…..or a bee…..or a dragonfly. Or my favorite…..lightning bugs, which I later began calling fireflies. Or a ladybug…gosh they are all over the land, everywhere I want to step…I’m afraid to squish them….but are they the true ladybug? Or the shipped over orange version that bites and who knows what else. Too hard to tell these days. I know about these orange ladybugs personally…from a rainbow gathering. Didn’t I mention rainbow a minute ago? Hmmm. Believe me, I didn’t retain the info…my brain can only handle a minute or two of held memory in the evenings. And now, I say……goodnight sweethearts….it’s time to go. 11:59am = 7 = holy. Goodnight ladybugs.
Goodmorning! I just had a fun little play session with Princess Anya and I got the cutest darn photo ever!!!! Might just be one of my all time favorites! Someone had asked me if she had folded ears and I said, only when she wants to. I was wrong. I do believe hers are folded in the back……never ran into this before. Nothing wrong with her….they just curl under at the back of the ear. Who was that….MajorSue maybe? Well, just letting you know you were right and I was wrong. Oh….and since she has no toys cept for the metal tub…I am her toy. She learns to balance herself on the unevenness of my lap. Now….she’s started jumping onto my lap….ouch but cute……and jumping while on my lap…also an ouch but cute. I’m a nut, I know.
I just saw that the State Dept. has classified Catholics and Evangelical Protestants….as extremist religious groups, alongside Al Queda and the Ku Klux Klan. Imagine that. Catholics, a terrorist group? That’s how I felt when they said the Rainbow Gathering people were terrorists. What are these people eating? These lawmakers. They have whackadoodle brains…..and in this instance, I am using whackadoodle in the derogatory sense. I question so many things these days…..so many things our gov is doing, and the UN, and just so many things that keeps me constantly scratching my head…..and I don’t have lice. Got Wywy and Doc sheared. Wywy was a dream and Doc was a dancer. My Lord, I’m so impressed with Wy. His confirmation, stance, coat and skin spots…..wowza. I’ve decided to turn them all out to the big pasture once all are sheared. For one thing…..they are under an oak tree, that sheds horrible VM all through the coats. None of the coats coming from that pen will be any good. (No, I didn’t know) Also, they’ve grown. They’re not babies anymore…..not fair to trap em in so small a space. Opened the gate to the Girls pen before I went to shear, so they could all have a day out. Not really taking advantage of it. Hmmm. And at feeding….none of the babies were really in play mode. Too hot I guess…..not even Anya! Now that the sun has gone down, whoever can squeeze through the gate….has….ie, anyone already sheared….and are out grazing. Well folks……guess I’ll end this and go graze FB. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.