For the better part of my life, I didn’t consider myself pretty….at all. Now, I’ve evolved to the point of not needing to be pretty or needing to be anything other than what I am……..a country hick rainbow goat mama. Haha, Valerie calls me that. I wear no makeup, no fancy clothes and my hairstyle is the same day after day. I do however, remember a time. A time when I finally decided I was kinda pretty. Whenever I watch the movie, Under the Tuscan Sun…the white dress scene….or Pretty Woman, the scene where she’s walking down the street in a white dress that is so elegant it makes people stop and stare. When I see those two scenes, everytime I watch….I remember my white dress. Halter style, but long, and flowy. I remember feeling pretty. I remember walking through an airport and a man was so busy staring at me….that he walked into a pillar. That gave me a feel good moment, but I have to say….the ego really does feel good when dressed to the nines. It’s a feeling of completion…..of arriving. I remember it clearly, like it was yesterday, yet I no longer require it. Now, I prefer to get that feeling in other ways….mostly when a goat shows me she loves me. It’s like the whipped cream on top of the dessert. I love whipped cream feelings.
It was very strange for me to feel pretty and I didn’t carry it well. My self esteem was still so damaged that I still bought the cheapest clothes I could find. I wasn’t worthy of wearing expensive clothes….so each September, I bought summer clothes on sale and each January I bought winter clothes. By then, most of the good stuff was gone, but then I discovered Marshalls. I can pretty much guarantee that clothes from there are made at sweat shops, but I didn’t know that then and I was able to be pretty for very little dollars. I mean, you look at the tag and it says…..original price….$175……and you get it for 40. Mind trip! So, when hubby wanted to go to a grand opening once, I decked out $800 worth from my head to my toes and my dress alone was….wait for it………$400!!!!!!!! Me!!! Me wearing a $400 dress??? Horrible. Great. Yummy. No. Yes. Well, I did. I think hubby liked the look cuz he had a painting commissioned from a photo. Course the guy did it in pastel chalk, but it’s still a painting. I don’t care for it, but hubby keeps it hanging in his room. It was fun feelin pretty for a short time, but I’m so dang glad it’s over and I can just BE. Much saner that way. Pleasing me is all I gotta do.
That was a fun little trip down memory lane. Yes….I’m watching Pretty Woman, and even watched it last night….this didn’t just pop up like a bluebonnet! It sprang from good old fashioned Tv influence. But I say that lightly now….with great care must our choices be made. To be on the safe side….just restrict your movie watching to old movies or family movies. It’s a crapshoot nowadays. Frankly, I think this Rv event has even weaned me from the singing competitions…American Idol, The Voice, X Factor, Nashville Star. Are they not all alike? Are they not all staged? Fake? I think I may be able to step away from them now. Jesse had me hooked on Jersey Shore for a time. Thank God I got away from That drug! 44 oh… well hello Angels. (those numbers just appeared). Ye know, it was way more comfortable awhile back when it was the occasional capital letters. Hmmm…maybe it’s the Rv. She shakes her head and giggles cuz she can’t explain it…as the Tv joins in the fun, by repeating the word she’s thinking. Oh well….night night. Sweetest of dreams to YOU. 11:51pm = 8 = infinity.
Woke up at 7:30 freezing! Ok, well, not freezing, 45 degrees but lemme tell ya, my laptop is cold, I’m cold, the remote is cold. Oh…I did finally fall back asleep, while shivering. Not much propane left. It’s gonna stay cold today and I know it’s going to drop to 32 tonight. Don’t want any babies born today!!!!! When I was awake so early today, I watched the younger girls playing with the babies. All racing round the pen then up onto the logs together, 2 and 3 at a time, a few fake head butts and off they go to race around the house….goat version of turn the heater up!!! Which I finally just broke down and did myself. Also, the moon is not yet full, but it was a clear night and I could see the girls clearly after all the lights were out and I crawled in bed. That was cool. They were playing then too! Ahhh man……it’s cold air comin out!!! Still sayin ¼ tank but that’s straight up cold air blowin. Ha! Shortcake just tried to squeeze out the gate opening but her big belly wouldn’t fit! Ha!!! Turns out that when he hooked Rv up to small tanks, the gauge is for the Rv tank, not the tiny tanks. So yup….outta propane so we have already been and back. No babies. And a smoothie 2 days in a row, yum. I even got the recipe sorta….well, the ingredients. I might get ambitious, since I do have a smoothie machine. I never could get em right, but may try again now.
Haha, Star didn’t try climbing my back today, but she did want to put her arms over my shoulders! Silly baby who knows she’s almost grown and still wants to be a baby. Love that girl. Love them all. Even the Petunia, who grows inches everyday and who has a curiosity about me that keeps her interested but not quite at ease. Gave them romaine hearts and tried the raisins. Big hit. Even Mimi took them from my fingers or hand. Babies didn’t know what to think and so…..didn’t. The winds are blowing pretty good out there and I’m surprised the babies can keep their footing. Tough lil things. Ok……signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.