Back when I was Pretty………

For the better part of my life, I didn’t consider myself pretty….at all. Now, I’ve evolved to the point of not needing to be pretty or needing to be anything other than what I am……..a country hick rainbow goat mama. Haha, Valerie calls me that. I wear no makeup, no fancy clothes and my hairstyle is the same day after day. I do however, remember a time. A time when I finally decided I was kinda pretty. Whenever I watch the movie, Under the Tuscan Sun…the white dress scene….or Pretty Woman, the scene where she’s walking down the street in a white dress that is so elegant it makes people stop and stare. When I see those two scenes, everytime I watch….I remember my white dress. Halter style, but long, and flowy. I remember feeling pretty. I remember walking through an airport and a man was so busy staring at me….that he walked into a pillar. That gave me a feel good moment, but I have to say….the ego really does feel good when dressed to the nines. It’s a feeling of completion…..of arriving. I remember it clearly, like it was yesterday, yet I no longer require it. Now, I prefer to get that feeling in other ways….mostly when a goat shows me she loves me. It’s like the whipped cream on top of the dessert. I love whipped cream feelings.

It was very strange for me to feel pretty and I didn’t carry it well. My self esteem was still so damaged that I still bought the cheapest clothes I could find. I wasn’t worthy of wearing expensive clothes….so each September, I bought summer clothes on sale and each January I bought winter clothes. By then, most of the good stuff was gone, but then I discovered Marshalls. I can pretty much guarantee that clothes from there are made at sweat shops, but I didn’t know that then and I was able to be pretty for very little dollars. I mean, you look at the tag and it says…..original price….$175……and you get it for 40. Mind trip! So, when hubby wanted to go to a grand opening once, I decked out $800 worth from my head to my toes and my dress alone was….wait for it………$400!!!!!!!! Me!!! Me wearing a $400 dress??? Horrible. Great. Yummy. No. Yes. Well, I did. I think hubby liked the look cuz he had a painting commissioned from a photo. Course the guy did it in pastel chalk, but it’s still a painting. I don’t care for it, but hubby keeps it hanging in his room. It was fun feelin pretty for a short time, but I’m so dang glad it’s over and I can just BE. Much saner that way. Pleasing me is all I gotta do.

That was a fun little trip down memory lane. Yes….I’m watching Pretty Woman, and even watched it last night….this didn’t just pop up like a bluebonnet! It sprang from good old fashioned Tv influence. But I say that lightly now….with great care must our choices be made. To be on the safe side….just restrict your movie watching to old movies or family movies. It’s a crapshoot nowadays. Frankly, I think this Rv event has even weaned me from the singing competitions…American Idol, The Voice, X Factor, Nashville Star. Are they not all alike? Are they not all staged? Fake? I think I may be able to step away from them now. Jesse had me hooked on Jersey Shore for a time. Thank God I got away from That drug! 44 oh… well hello Angels. (those numbers just appeared). Ye know, it was way more comfortable awhile back when it was the occasional capital letters. Hmmm…maybe it’s the Rv. She shakes her head and giggles cuz she can’t explain it…as the Tv joins in the fun, by repeating the word she’s thinking. Oh well….night night. Sweetest of dreams to YOU. 11:51pm = 8 = infinity.

Woke up at 7:30 freezing! Ok, well, not freezing, 45 degrees but lemme tell ya, my laptop is cold, I’m cold, the remote is cold. Oh…I did finally fall back asleep, while shivering. Not much propane left. It’s gonna stay cold today and I know it’s going to drop to 32 tonight. Don’t want any babies born today!!!!! When I was awake so early today, I watched the younger girls playing with the babies. All racing round the pen then up onto the logs together, 2 and 3 at a time, a few fake head butts and off they go to race around the house….goat version of turn the heater up!!! Which I finally just broke down and did myself. Also, the moon is not yet full, but it was a clear night and I could see the girls clearly after all the lights were out and I crawled in bed. That was cool. They were playing then too! Ahhh man……it’s cold air comin out!!! Still sayin ¼ tank but that’s straight up cold air blowin. Ha! Shortcake just tried to squeeze out the gate opening but her big belly wouldn’t fit! Ha!!! Turns out that when he hooked Rv up to small tanks, the gauge is for the Rv tank, not the tiny tanks. So yup….outta propane so we have already been and back. No babies. And a smoothie 2 days in a row, yum. I even got the recipe sorta….well, the ingredients. I might get ambitious, since I do have a smoothie machine. I never could get em right, but may try again now.

Haha, Star didn’t try climbing my back today, but she did want to put her arms over my shoulders! Silly baby who knows she’s almost grown and still wants to be a baby. Love that girl. Love them all. Even the Petunia, who grows inches everyday and who has a curiosity about me that keeps her interested but not quite at ease. Gave them romaine hearts and tried the raisins. Big hit. Even Mimi took them from my fingers or hand. Babies didn’t know what to think and so…..didn’t. The winds are blowing pretty good out there and I’m surprised the babies can keep their footing. Tough lil things. Ok……signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.

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6 thoughts on “Back when I was Pretty………

  1. LOVE those boots! They are so YOU!
    and as for the rest – BAH! You ARE beautiful! From your well grounded feet that have come so far, to every mark that your journey has placed upon your brow!

  2. A few questions and comments.The picture of all the goats in pasture- is that all your land? What is the white things in the distance?
    Love love love the boots. TSC? Or where did you get them? They are so you and they are probably something I would have picked for you.
    Funny how my favorite ( one of them) movie is Under the Tuscan Sun. Someday I am going to have the courage to do something on my own and I will find a wonderful,house just like that. My next goal is to be loved. I am so afraid of dying and not knowing what that feels like. My mom disliked me because I reminded her of herself whom she didn’t like either. So that’s my take on love. I have loved a lot but I can say, I have never been loved.

    Don’t know why I told you,all that. Maybe, I needed to say it out loud.

    • Maybe you did dear….maybe you did. There are many forms of love and I know of at least one person who loves you from my chair or wherever. As a human being you are loved by more people than you realize. Maybe your journey is to feel isolated. So feel it already and ask for somethin new.

      Our land till the color changes. White thingies sand or lime maybe. Not my land. Yes ma’am TSC for them shit kickin boots!!!!! Make sure you try them on!!! As for dying….had the same fear. Big time. So I asked one night as I lay down to sleep….to find out what it was like to die. And I did. Haha!!! Find out the answer tomorrow cuz I think I’m gonna write about this. No worries my dear. 😜

      Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

  3. I cried as I read your response. I hope it’s not just words. I thank Spirit everyday for a friend like you. I have told you often in our phone conversations- that we hardly know each other and yet it is as though we have known each other forever. Thanks Sheri for fighting hard enough to live to be here for me

    • I can’t see you but you have a kind heart. Don’t give up when the dark comes cuz the light always shines!!! The light always finds a way to shine. 🐬

      Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

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